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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29870277">I Hear The Wind Call Your Name</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/n7punk/pseuds/n7punk'>n7punk</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Farm/Ranch, Alternate Universe - Horse Racing, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/F, Getting Together, Healing, Horse Girl Adora (She-Ra), Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Modern AU but still different species, Mutual Masturbation, Pining, Slow Build, Smut</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 01:48:42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>81,989</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29870277</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/n7punk/pseuds/n7punk</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Soulmates are rare. Like <i>2% of the population</i> rare - and yet Catra of all people was born with someone else’s thoughts in her head, feelings and subconscious desires filtering in from her soulmate. Of course she has someone out there who knows everything about her and can easily hurt her, but she soothes herself with the fact that they likely will never meet in person. The denial works until she gets transferred out to a tiny ranch town for work and meets Adora Grayskull. She looks Adora in the eyes and <i>knows</i> her soulmate is standing before her. Catra does the only thing she can think of – she runs.<br/>(City girl Catra/Stable manager Adora soulvoice AU)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Adora/Catra (She-Ra)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>586</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2044</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Catradora AUs by n7punk</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Move out (in)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>It’s just not catradora if they don’t know each other’s ins and outs already.<br/>If you haven’t read my other fics, magicat alcohol tolerance is kinda crazy and they basically act like they are high on catnip, not drunk. They don’t really get hangovers or blackout.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Catra is doing her damnedest to piss off just about every person in her life today. Not that she has ever been a people pleaser, but today is fucking <em>special</em>.</p><p>It started at work – that was when she decided to write off the rest of the day. Her boss told her a while ago that he put her name in for a promotion. It has been a light of hope in the last few weeks. He never told her what the promotion <em>was</em>. Sure, a promotion to financial manager sounds good on paper – better pay, some real power to make decisions, more job security – but he didn’t tell her taking it would mean transferring out to a <em>bumfuck nowhere</em> town.</p><p>The problem is she has to take it. She needs the money. She needs the job security. If she can stick it out for a few years she can use the experience to get a similar job in an actual city with public transit and shit. Getting away from the city she grew up in for a few years will probably be good for her, but Catra has no desire to go to a town whose population is smaller than her high school graduating class.</p><p>She accepted it, but she feels fucking <em>tricked</em>, and she is mad at her boss. Hence how she ended up in the piercing studio three blocks from her apartment. Legally, jobs can’t discriminate on piercings. They are an important part of some hybrid cultures. The stuffy financial quarter has never been a fan of them, though. When it is time to apply for a new job, she can take them out for interviews, but for now it will be a thorn in her boss’s side.</p><p>Her right ear is stinging a little where it is pinned back to her head, three rings brushing against her fur as she tries to block out the noise of the club around her. After pissing off her boss, she needed a fucking <em>drink</em>. Her piercer explicitly told her not to drink after getting pierced, so mark her as pissed off too. It is getting late and all Catra has given her roommate is a quick text of <em>shitty day, going dancing</em>, so Scorpia is going to be worried about her <em>self-destructive tendencies</em> too.</p><p>Perfuma will be upset that Catra is worrying Scorpia again, Entrapta will be frustrated that Scorpia is interrupting her work to call her about the behaviour, and their neighbour will probably be annoyed by all the commotion caused by Scorpia’s boisterous worry. In short, every single person Catra knows – it is a short list – is going to be frustrated with her in some way.</p><p>Catra feels a tug at the back of her mind. There’s her soulmate, right on cue, concerned but also <em>tired</em> and struggling to sleep with Catra wired on her annoyance this way. What-the-fuck-<em>ever</em>. Her soulmate wakes her up at fucking dawn all the time - this is just payback. Catra downs another shot and turns away from the bar, ready to lose herself on the dance floor.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Adora groans when her alarm goes off. She normally doesn’t need one, but on nights when her soulmate goes on a bender, she needs the prod to get the stable ready in time. Her soulmate doesn’t even stir in response. The connection is muddy, mostly just emotions and vague ideas, but Adora can easily tell when her soulmate is asleep, sick, hurting, or in any other state.</p><p>She <em>felt</em> the moment of pain and adrenaline yesterday when her soulmate got pierced. She knew she was going to do it, even if they can’t pass exact words and thoughts back and forth. She got the <em>intent</em>. The pain wasn’t as bad as if Adora had gotten pierced herself, but she was well aware of the dull ache for the rest of the day on ears she doesn’t have.</p><p>She is grateful her soulmate has managed to sleep through Adora waking up today. She is a light sleeper and usually rises with Adora, no matter how much she clearly wishes she <em>didn’t</em>. Her soulmate is a magicat, so she probably won’t really be hungover today and just sleepy, but Adora still needs all the help she can get being awake after only getting three hours of sleep herself last night.</p><p>When she hauls herself out of her bed, through a quick breakfast, and jogs over to the stables, Swift Wind is waiting for her, practically ready to bust down his door.</p><p>“Yeah, yeah. I’ll take you for your run after I get everything set up, alright? Kitty kept me up last night,” Adora tells him, petting his nose to calm him a little as he cranes his head as far out of his stall as he can. Swift Wind blows air out his nostrils, bucking his head into her hands as she moves to wrap her arms around his head and hug him against her chest.</p><p>Swift Wind turns his head out from the hug, eyeing one of the barn cats. Adora snorts, rolling her eyes as she strokes his nose again. Horses are smart and Swift Wind knows what a kitty is, but he doesn’t seem to have figured out <em>who</em> Kitty is. In his defense, neither has Adora, hence the nickname she gave her soulmate at age five still sticking around.</p><p>Soulmates are rare as hell, and Adora has only met one other person with a soulmate before. Angella and Micah were lucky. They met at a race when they were in their mid-twenties. Adora is in her mid-twenties herself now, but she feels no closer to finding the one person who has always been with her. She knows her soulmate lives in a city, somewhere in a similar timezone as her, but that is it.</p><p>It isn’t a lot to go on. She knows everything about her soulmate, and yet <em>nothing</em>. Adora has curled in her bed and been there with her soulmate mentally as she was locked in her bedroom, stomach gnawing with hunger as her cruel mother withheld food – and yet Adora can’t even tell you what Kitty’s favourite colour is. She knows her very soul, but nothing from her surface, and crucially, she doesn’t know anything that would help her find Kitty.</p><p>Her soulmate also doesn’t want to be found. Every time Adora tries to push through the bond for some hint, even just a city <em>name</em> so she can take a weekend trip to it and hope, her soulmate panics and pushes back. Some days it sends her spiraling. Adora hates hurting her like that, so she tries not to pry, but-</p><p>She knows her soul. She knows that her soulmate has cause to be afraid of someone with such deep access to her heart. She just wishes she would give Adora the chance to prove she won’t abuse it.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>“Wildcat…” Scorpia says, expression and tone <em>disappointed</em>. Catra scowls at her as she continues to slam around the kitchen, making breakfast well past noon.</p><p>“I have to upend my entire life for a few fucking dollars, Scorpia. Let me be pissed. It’s the best thing in the long run, <em>blah blah blah</em>. I don’t give a shit. I’m going to be raging for the next two weeks before I get transferred out and have to be <em>respectable</em>,” Catra scowls, glaring down at her eggs. She broke one of the yolks in her sharp, angry movements, but who <em>cares</em>. She is drained and wired, exhausted from last night but high on her annoyance.</p><p>Her soulmate is tired. They are in one of the terrible feedback loops that they get into sometimes. Princess is tired, which just makes Catra more irritated as it drags her down. Her soulmate, in turn, is drained even more by Catra’s annoyance. Catra doesn’t care. They are a long way from playing knight in shining armor vaguely in their heads as little kids.</p><p>Catra always imagined getting to ride in and rescue her soulmate from her shitty dad. Her soulmate couldn’t get all the details, but Princess seemed happy to let Catra come to her. She certainly has been pushing for it to materialize in reality these last few years, but Catra isn’t fucking <em>budging</em>. Being one of the rare few with a soulmate is annoying enough when her soulmate is some unnamed early riser somewhere out there in the world. She doesn’t want to imagine what it would be like having her <em>around</em>.</p><p>“Won’t you endanger the promotion?” Scorpia asks, trying for logic, but Catra will not be <em>cajoled</em> into behaving. Catra scowls down at her eggs as she transfers them onto a plate.</p><p>“<em>Good</em>,” she replies. She doesn’t want it. It is the right move for her career, but she is a creature of habit. If she didn’t already know that Scorpia was going to ditch her to move in with her girlfriend when their lease is up, she wouldn’t even be taking the job. Her comfortable little world is already going to be upset in two months, so why not move up the schedule and at least make some money from it? She still <em>hates</em> it.</p><p>“There’s a major client out there that <em>needs</em> a manager, but they also can’t lose one of their experienced employees to the middle of fucking nowhere. I’m expendable, but I’ll do the job well. They need me, and they can <em>deal</em> with the piercings,” Catra rants, just a little pissed. She really thought she was going to be promoted <em>at home</em>. She thought she would have enough money to afford to live on her own, but she would still get to be close to her friends. She has no desire to leave everything she has ever known.</p><p>Unknown situations and places are <em>dangerous</em>. Call it PTSD if you want, but she hates the idea of being caught off balance. Her stress levels have been skyrocketing ever since her boss gave her the news. She has no choice but to take the job, but she never gets a fucking choice, does she?</p><p>Scorpia is quiet from her spot on the counter stool. Catra can feel the sad eyes on her back, but no matter how much she loves her friend, there will never be any reforming her. Put a roadblock in front of her and she is guaranteed to work her way through it by blowing it <em>and</em> herself up. Scorpia met her in college. She should know better by now than to think Catra is going to calm down.</p><p>“Maybe you’ll like the place? You’ll still have all of us by phone, but there won’t be anyone there you have bad history with,” Scorpia offers, small and hopeful. Catra scowls at her plate.</p><p>“It has a <em>single </em>music venue,” Catra shoots back. She knows what Scorpia is getting at, but also the chances she likes it in Thaymor are fucking slim. Sure, her bitch foster mom won’t pop up at the fucking <em>metro station</em> and trigger a panic attack so bad her soulmate has to talk her down from across the country, but Catra already knows the next few years are going to be miserable.</p><p>Whatever. Her life has always been like this.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Adora glares at her ceiling. She knows her soulmate is upset – she <em>gets</em> it, she has been through a lot and now she has lost her job or something – but it fucking hurts to know she is somewhere out there flirting with another girl.</p><p>Soulmates don’t have to be romantic. They are, in theory, just someone out there you share part of your soul with. There are so many different ways you could feel about each other, but when Adora was running herself into the ground as a child trying to please her foster dad, she always clung to her soulmate. She believed one day the vague fantasies they were able to share of playing knight in shining armour would come true.</p><p>She pictured being eighteen and reaching through the bond for her soulmate, finding each other and running away together. Instead, she and her soulmate clung to each other through their shitty childhoods until Kitty was <em>afraid</em> of her, totally unwilling to meet and risk letting her in. Adora doesn’t understand it – she is <em>already</em> in. She always has been. Her soulmate should be able to sense that Adora wants nothing but the best for her.</p><p>Adora rolls over in her small cot, glaring at the wall as she feels a spike of desire through the bond.</p><p><em>Stop. Please</em>, she closes her eyes and begs. Exact thoughts can’t go through, but she hopes her soulmate will get the general message. Nights like this have happened a few times. Her soulmate has never gone through with her flirting, but given the bender she has been on for the last few days, Adora is worried. She doesn’t know what to do about the situation. She definitely loves her soulmate – she doesn’t know how she could <em>not</em> after seeing everything she has been through and still come out on the other side. The fact that her soulmate comforted her through all her worst moments has only strengthened the bond.</p><p>And yet her soulmate can do what she wants. Her soulmate doesn’t love her like that, she doesn’t <em>think</em>. Kitty resents her as much as she relies on her. They are in a weird situation, and given how rare soulmates are anyway, Adora doesn’t have any <em>resources</em> for figuring it out. Usually soulmates wait until they have at least met to find out if they are each other’s <em>one</em>. Sometimes they know right away it is love – like Adora – and sometimes they know it is just platonic, but Adora has to imagine that is <em>awkward</em> when you can still feel each other’s desire.</p><p>Hands are on her soulmate’s body. It comes through the bond like a shot through her heart and Adora feels <em>sick</em>, all the air leaving her lungs as she screws her eyes shut.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>“I’m drunk,” Catra blurts out. Faith stills, pulling back from where she was trailing her kisses down Catra’s open collar to squint at her.</p><p>“You want to stop?” she asks, her own words a little slurred. Catra’s ears pin back as she nods. She feels clammy suddenly, the heartbreak coming through the bond making her heart thud loudly. She isn’t wasted, but she has <em>drank</em>. She just- she needs this to stop. She needs to not hurt her soulmate. Princess has always been there for her – Princess has never even <em>considered</em> kissing someone else – and here Catra is making out with a stranger in the back of her third club this week.</p><p>Faith seems to realize something is actually <em>wrong</em>. She frowns, taking a few steadying breaths as she takes a step back.</p><p>“I’ll call us a ride? Drop you off at your place so you get home safe?” she offers. Catra just nods mutely, her hands shaking a little from the conflicting emotions swirling in her chest, some of them her own and some of them <em>not</em>.</p><p>Having a soulmate is such a raw fucking deal. Sure, someone is always there for her – they also can’t do shit to help her physically, leaving her vulnerable to attack. Catra doesn’t want to ever meet her <em>other half</em>, and yet she can’t take hurting her either. So she ends up in this situation at least once a year since she turned eighteen – about to kiss or even fuck someone else, and then pulling back when her soulmate begs her with emotions alone to stop.</p><p>Faith wraps an arm around Catra’s shoulders and steers them out to the curb of the club. Princess is grateful and relieved, but still worried. Her soulmate is sobering her, helping Catra stay aware as Faith calls them a ride.</p><p>“No, I don’t like him. Someone else. He smells bad,” Catra manages to mumble into Faith’s shoulder when a rideshare pulls up. It smells like booze and sex, and maybe the scent is just clinging on from the last passengers, but Princess is keeping her aware enough that Catra isn’t taking the risk. Faith frowns, but the orc dismisses the ride by waving at the driver and saying they are actually going to walk.</p><p>“Drugs?” Faith guesses, eyeing Catra as she calls another ride on her phone. Orcs don’t have nearly the senses that magicats do, but she still picked up what Catra was implying. Catra just nods vaguely from where she is plastering into her companion for the night’s side. She definitely drank more than she <em>thought</em> she had.</p><p>She is glad Princess pitched such a fit when she started talking to the first girl she picked out for the night. It drove her to pick someone else, and Faith is clearly a decent type. When the second rideshare pulls up, it just smells vaguely of gum, and the driver eyes them warily. If he is worried about how drunk and rowdy they may be, Catra figures he is probably decent.</p><p>She lets Faith pull her into the car. She wants to drift off, but Princess keeps poking at the back of her mind to keep her awake until the car pulls up to her apartment block. She hands Faith some cash to pay for her part of the ride and waves her off as the car continues on to drop her off wherever the hell she lives.</p><p>If Catra didn’t have a soulmate, she would already be in Faith’s apartment most likely, but she is tired enough that the thought doesn’t really bother her as she shuffles into her and Scorpia’s place. Princess is worried about Catra’s drinking, so Catra makes sure to down a glass of water and two pain relievers before she crawls into her bed.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>“Someone had a rager again last night,” Glimmer observes when Adora walks into the ranch office. Adora sends a half-hearted glare her way. They are nine days into whatever fit her soulmate is throwing, though she at least keeps things calm during the normal workday. Unfortunately, Adora has never worked a normal workday in her life, so that doesn’t help her much.</p><p>“Kitty’s had some drama at work. She got fired, I think. She is handling it <em>healthily</em>,” Adora returns, throwing herself down on Angella’s couch. Angella raises an eyebrow from her desk but says nothing. Glimmer just snorts and rolls her eyes as she turns back to her paperwork, but Bow at least shoots her a pitying look. Adora sighs.</p><p>“There’s a two-week deadline on her bender, don’t worry. I don’t know <em>why</em>, I just know this weekend was her last hurrah. I was going to take a nap after the Garnets stop by. She chills out during the day,” Adora tells them, waving her hand vaguely in the air. Angella hums from her desk.</p><p>“How are the piercings doing?” she asks, vaguely. Adora winces, hunching a little in her seat.</p><p>“She got more on Saturday,” she mumbles. Glimmer doesn’t notice, but Angella <em>stills</em> a little, looking up to make eye contact with Adora. A thread passes through them and they both wince. Bow watches the exchange, clearly confused, but Adora can’t begin to explain the sensation of your soulmate getting their nipples pierced to someone who hasn’t been through it. The first time they all went swimming together she had asked Angella if she felt it when Micah had done it – her grimace hadn’t been enough preparation for when Adora went through it by proxy herself.</p><p>“Hopefully you finally get to sleep this weekend?” Bow offers, trying to look on the bright side. Adora sighs, letting her eyes slip closed for a moment just to rest. Yeah, she hopes so, but somehow she <em>doubts it</em>.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Catra’s entire life fits in three boxes, which is, frankly, <em>sad</em>. She leaves her furniture behind, some of it sold secondhand in the two weeks’ notice she had, the rest of it under Scorpia’s stewardship. She can’t afford to rent a trailer or ship it across the country. The company at least has the decency to advance her salary so she can buy a car, seeing as she will need one in the small town without so much as a <em>bus system</em>.</p><p>She crams everything into the back seat of her coupe and lets Scorpia crush her in hugs until it threatens to give her soulmate a panic attack. Even though Catra has gotten <em>better</em> about hugs, Princess is understandably stressed when Catra is restricted. She has a <em>history</em>, and though Princess can pick up this interaction isn’t bad, the memories are still there. Catra knows – she fights them every time Scorpia touches her.</p><p>“You’ll call me every day, right?” Scorpia asks her for the seventieth time. Catra rolls her eyes, but she steps closer and tucks into Scorpia’s side again. Scorpia raises her arms and Catra bats them away, rejecting another hug but letting Scorpia have some contact as Catra molds into her side. This is a compromise they came up with years ago and it has never stopped being a necessary in-between when Catra’s <em>touch meter</em> has maxed out.</p><p>“Yes, mom. I’ll be fine. The town is like four square blocks. I’ll probably just be bored as shit most of the time,” Catra promises her. Scorpia does not look any more assured, but they had this conversation three times during her going away party last night, in addition to all the times they had it leading up to the move.</p><p>“I’ll miss you,” Scorpia says, quietly, her expression pinched. Catra’s chest feels a bit tight. She ducks her head, feeling her cheeks flush as her ears pin back. Her new earrings are carefully placed to not clink together and fuck with her hearing, but she can still feel them pressed against her short hair, that is how tightly her ears pin back.</p><p>“You too. Don’t you dare cry,” Catra returns. Scorpia’s eyes are already full of tears.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Adora feels <em>good</em>. Her soulmate is still a little stressed, but she is mostly relaxed and zoned out. Traveling. Adora can’t tell how, just that she is in the mindless state where you are just aware enough to get where you need to go as your mind goes blank. It is relaxing. She has been like this for three hours now, and she thinks she will be for a while more.</p><p>Adora is riding Swift Wind. It felt right to be traveling at the same time as her soulmate, even if she isn’t <em>going</em> anywhere. She is just riding into town. It is Saturday afternoon, she has plenty of free time to stop at the tack store, eye a new hat, and then head back to the ranch. There was a lot of sadness from her soulmate this morning, leaving something behind, but now they can both just relax.</p><p>Neither of them are ever really alone. It is like she is riding alongside her soulmate, both of them silent but just enjoying each other’s presence. The illusion is shattered a little bit when she makes it into town and the people she passes wave at her, but Adora is used to her wordless companion. She smiles and calls out to ask how people are doing as they holler to her, and she and Lonnie both flip each other off when they spot each other, grinning despite the gesture.</p><p>Adora likes Thaymor. Everybody knows everybody, even if it is only through a friend-of-a-friend or a cousin. People kind of <em>have</em> to be nice or word will get around. She grew up in a town not too far from here, but it was big enough for there to be plenty of assholes. She fell in love with Thaymor the first time Hordak dragged her here to purchase a horse from Angella, and she will never stop being grateful for Glimmer convincing her mom to give Adora a chance when she showed up in town on her eighteenth birthday, just desperate to get away from her foster father.</p><p>All he ever cared about was the trophies she could win his stable. She was never his child, just his glory-catcher. She would much rather bring that acclaim to Bright Moon Stables. Besides, if she hadn’t gone to Angella, she never would have met Swift Wind, and she knows without him she wouldn’t be half the rider she is today.</p><p>“Behave,” she warns him as she hitches him outside the tack store. She isn’t worried about anyone stealing him. That kind of thing doesn’t happen in Thaymor, and even with the town beginning to expand, Swift Wind wouldn’t <em>let</em> someone else take him. They would end up in the hospital before they ended up with a horse.</p><p>Adora hums to herself as she heads into the store. She isn’t sure what song the melody is from, just that her soulmate is listening to and enjoying it.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>The drive takes nearly four hours. Thaymor is pretty much exactly what she expected when she arrives – a nice, clean, and <em>tiny</em> town. It is more sprawling than she expected, but the main commercial district is a few tight blocks. She drives past a fucking <em>horse hitch</em> – even worse, there is a horse <em>on</em> it. Catra wrinkles her nose as she follows her GPS to the small apartment building she has been on the phone with for the past week.</p><p>She didn’t think she would ever actually see a horse in person and now she is going to have to <em>smell</em> them. The client she is moving out here for – a wealthy woman driving the recent expansion of the town – owns the local stable and ranch. Catra is going to be there most days of the week. Hopefully the ranch offices are <em>upwind</em>.</p><p>At least the apartment building is as well-maintained as its photos suggested. Catra has never moved into a place sight-unseen, but it seems decent – bigger than she thought, too. The landlady is nice and far too talkative, jabbering on about how she is going to love it in town and how much the place has changed over the last few years. Yeah, there’s no way it is going to change <em>enough</em> for Catra.</p><p>After a brief tour of the apartment – it has two rooms for some reason, even though it would be far better off as a studio apartment, but apparently <em>open concept</em> hasn’t made it to Thaymor yet – Catra tries to make a bid for privacy by saying she needs to start moving in her things. It doesn’t work. The lady offers to help her carry her things and then muses about how little she has brought as she carries one of Catra’s boxes.</p><p>Catra, carrying the other two, just grunts. She really doesn’t want to deal with this <em>country courtesy</em>. Luckily, she is a good fucking liar and she has a built in excuse. Catra stutters her breathing as she sets down the boxes on her counter, pinning back her ears and pouring emotion into her eyes as her hand flies to cover her mouth.</p><p>“Oh, dear, are you alright?” the landlady rushes to question her, moving quickly to her side and <em>placing a hand on her arm</em>. Catra twitches away, and this time it isn’t an act. She opens and closes her mouth for a moment, selling the act and also giving her time to gather herself.</p><p>“I’m sorry, my soulmate- Something happened. I need to be alone so I can be there for her,” Catra tells the woman, sending her a strained expression. The ruse works. The woman’s eyes go wide and she hurriedly shuffles over to the door.</p><p>“Oh, dearie, I had no idea. Of course, take care of your soulmate. I’ll be sending blessings both your ways,” the woman assures her. A quick goodbye and Catra can finally <em>breathe</em> again.</p><p>Princess is worried about her, asking if everything is okay. Catra breathes deep, calming her body as she drops down to the floor, leaning back against the kitchen cabinets. Yeah, she is as okay as she is going to be for the next few years now. She already feels like she is chafing under the stereotypical small-town atmosphere, but she is adaptable. She can do this. She can <em>make it work</em>. She always has.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Her soulmate moved on Saturday. Adora realizes this because she spent yesterday traveling and feeling mournful, and now today she is moving furniture, shopping, and carrying things around. Her soulmate is also just generally frustrated and not looking forward to work on Monday.</p><p>She found a new job but had to move for it, probably. Adora sits on her small porch, watching the stars swirling above her, and wonders if the move brought them closer together or put even more distance between them.</p><p><em>Come out with me</em>, she tries to cajole. She doesn’t know how distorted the thought will become, but she hopes her soulmate understands the intent. She gets an emotion back she can only describe as <em>hissy</em>, but Adora has tamed enough feral barn cats to know how to win one’s heart. She looks up at the vast expanse of midnight blue above her, focusing on how beautiful it is, how many constellations she can see, and how nice the night air feels on her skin.</p><p>Her soulmate grumbles back. Adora just closes her eyes, breathing in the cool night air after the warm sun of the day threatened to burn her even through her sunscreen. Sitting on her porch, two of the barn cats settled nearby, is a great way to end her day, especially with the phantom exhaustion in her limbs.</p><p>Kitty doesn’t stop protesting, but she rouses. Adora smiles to herself. After a few moments, she feels her soulmate settling in again, beside her but far away. It doesn’t matter. They are both under the same stars, enjoying a calming night breeze. Kitty likes it, even if she is trying to hide it from Adora. It is beautiful and relaxing to her, shining lights that make her think of her home. Nostalgic, even if she hasn’t been gone long.</p><p><em>We’re stargazing together</em>, Adora pushes, gently. She gets back grumbling, but Kitty doesn’t go back inside, so she considers it a win.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Catra is the only person working in her new branch who wasn’t born and raised here. She feels her ear twitch when she gets that news. They all left town to go to college and returned, so it isn’t like she is a foreign creature, but she kind of <em>is</em> still. Hardly any hybrids live here. Some fae do, and yes, the town <em>is</em> expanding, but Catra is already fairly certain she is going to have to order her furcare supplies. If the local stores carry any, they likely won’t have <em>her</em> brand.</p><p>It is fine. It isn’t like magicats are common just about <em>anywhere</em> these days. People are at least interested in her piercings and their meanings rather than dismissive of the culture around them. They don’t know that isn’t something you just <em>ask</em>, but whatever, she corrects them politely and they practically trip over themselves apologizing.</p><p>Her first day is kind of a blur of training. She technically holds the highest position in this branch – aside from their branch manager – but she is also the youngest of them and a stranger in town. She will only work in the branch half the time anyway. Her client needs a manager but doesn’t have enough work to justify hiring one full-time. Catra will work at her branch three days a week, and on Tuesdays and Thursdays she will work out of her client's offices. She still needs a bit of time to get set up first, so she doesn’t end up even <em>meeting</em> her client until she comes to the branch on Tuesday.</p><p>“Angella Queens,” the woman greets, bending to shake her hand.</p><p>“Catra,” she returns. The woman nods serenely, merely accepting the single name. Given this is the businesswoman single-handedly expanding a small town, Catra shouldn’t be surprised she is educated in hybrid culture, but it is still a relief when she doesn’t ask Catra for a last name she doesn’t have. Catra was worried that her main client would be insufferable to just add on to her misery.</p><p>“How are you finding Thaymor?” the woman asks as she settles in one of the chairs across from Catra’s desk in her small cubicle. Angella looks genuinely curious, but Catra doubts she wants the truth.</p><p>“It is quite a change for me, but I’m good at adapting,” she returns, diplomatic and truthful. A small smile quirks at the edge of the woman’s mouth, but she doesn’t push the issue, accepting it as Catra moves on to their business and her plans.</p><p>They are less than an hour outside of Bright Moon. For a long time, Thaymor has just been a farm town, but it has been losing population to the city over the years. Angella is intending to transform it into a destination for weekend country getaways. She has a number of restaurants and a resort interested. The plan is to increase the entertainment options over the next ten years. All of it is part of an effort to revitalize the town approved by the city council.</p><p>The fact that Angella’s new racetrack will benefit from the increased traffic is merely a <em>convenience</em>. Catra reviewed the plan before she moved out here – it is solid, if Angella can successfully draw in the traffic from the city. It’s a gamble, but apparently she has the excess money to take it.</p><p>At least Angella is nice, Catra comforts herself. She lets Catra call her <em>Mrs. Queens</em> exactly three times before she corrects her that it is just Angella. Catra just has to hope her business partners are as polite.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>They kind of have a schedule. Adora <em>knows</em> that, but Kitty’s entire life schedule has been uprooted for the last two weeks, so she is kind of surprised when she feels a cautious poke at the edge of her mind. She sends back <em>not now</em> and prays Kitty is willing to wait.</p><p>They have just been squeezing this in when it was convenient for the last few weeks. Adora should have been ready for this return to normalcy as Kitty has been settling down, but she also didn’t <em>choose</em> to be out of her house right now.</p><p>A stray cat has shown up at the stable. They are resisting all of Adora’s attempts to befriend them. Adora usually adopts their barn cats from a local shelter, but sometimes strays appear. She is happy to accept them, but getting them neutered and spayed is critical. Adora isn’t going to let the farm be overrun by kittens on her watch, but she has to be able to <em>catch</em> a cat before she can take it to be spayed.</p><p>She got a trap out from the shed after two weeks of unsuccessfully trying to get within <em>petting</em> range of the cat, but she also isn’t willing to leave it set up unmonitored. So here she is, during her Wednesday night dedicated Kitty time, lying in wait in Swift Wind’s stable as she watches the movements around the barn and hopes for her newest addition to show their face. She is hoping the smell of the stall will cover up her own and the cat will be willing to approach the baited trap in the center of the stable.</p><p>Kitty knows she isn’t home – she also knows she isn’t in public. Oh <em>fuck</em>. Adora blushes as she feels Kitty mentally settle down and the emotions trickle in. The <em>sensations</em> ghost over her as Kitty begins to touch herself, almost smug in the discomfort she is causing Adora. Not that Adora doesn’t like it - Kitty <em>knows</em> that she kind of likes being caught in public like this – but it feels wrong to get turned on in front of the animals. They won’t know what the change in her scent means, but she is sure they can pick it up.</p><p>Kitty hesitates. Adora’s conflict is making it hard for her to get into it. Adora sighs and rouses from her spot against the wall of Swift Wind’s stall. <em>Ten minutes</em>, she asks. The time frame won’t actually get through, but her soulmate will understand that she is asking her to wait a little bit. Adora disarms the trap, gathering her bait and locking it away before she gives the stable a last once over and then jogs over to her pickup truck.</p><p>Kitty starts touching herself again the moment Adora has turned on her car. Adora flushes as she drives back to her house. It is only a few minutes away from the stable, but that is plenty of time for her desire to build alongside her soulmate’s.</p><p>When she gets home, she makes it to her couch before she gives up and joins Kitty. She can’t <em>actually</em> hear her soulmate’s moans, but sometimes it feels like it as they touch themselves in unison, their desire building as one. The connection is strong as vague fantasies suspend between them until Adora’s mind is hazy from anything but the sensations ghosting over her. They reach climax together. Adora is left breathless and panting, still dressed with her hand shoved down her pants.</p><p>Kitty is purring, a phantom feeling of contentment washing through Adora as her soulmate relaxes back into sleep. Adora stays on her couch until she feels like Kitty has drifted off. She doesn’t want to rouse her soulmate by getting up herself. After several long moments of silence from the bond, she stands to go shower.</p><p>She really can’t imagine what this must be like for <em>platonic</em> soulmates, especially when their other half is having sex and not just getting off to lull herself to sleep. Adora has never felt as connected to someone else as when she is gasping for breath and knowing her soulmate is doing the same. She enjoys the hell out of their sessions together, but she fears the day Kitty goes through with sleeping with someone else.</p><p>Soulmates are a double-edged sword. She is never alone, and yet her other half might very well put her through hell. She knows they are both a little <em>old</em> to be virgins – but Adora also has never touched herself alone, and she can’t imagine having sex with someone else and not being able to <em>feel</em> how they enjoy it. She just doesn’t see the appeal, not when she knows what the alternative feels like. She knows it is all most people get, but she has felt the alternative over distance and she can’t imagine how much <em>more</em> it would be if her soulmate trusted Adora to actually hold her.</p><p>But trust is their whole issue. It is easier for her soulmate to let a stranger from a club touch her and have it mean nothing than to risk having to meet Adora’s eyes. Adora throws herself into bed with her hair still wet, defeated. She wants her soulmate – she <em>loves</em> her – but she doesn’t know if her soulmate will ever be able to take down her barriers enough to put in the effort for them to find each other.</p><p>They <em>could</em> do it – it happens, when soulmates don’t meet each other by chance first – but they both need to be seeking the other to forge a bond deep enough to pass the information necessary. Their bond is strong after all the years cowering in closets together while their parents spat vitriol, but when Kitty has a barrier up on purpose, they don’t stand a chance.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Catra goes to the ranch for the first time on Thursday, after five days in town. It takes her twenty minutes to reach the ranch and then another <em>ten</em> to find the ranch offices. Angella’s daughter and her partner greet Catra, showing her the desk they have set up for her. The ranch office is open concept except for Angella’s office – the <em>one</em> time Catra wants the privacy of a separate room.</p><p>Catra spends an hour talking numbers with Glimmer. Glimmer keeps up surprisingly well for not being used to working with finances like this. Things like sales and investments fall on Angella, but she is in her office with the fucking <em>French doors</em> shut. Catra has to pin her ears back to filter out the sounds of her conference call. Surprisingly, Glimmer notices.</p><p>“Why don’t we take a break? It’s near lunch anyway. We can do for a tour of the ranch. When we get back, Angella should be available to review these notes,” Glimmer suggests. Catra practically breathes a sigh of relief. Does she want a tour of cowtown? No, absolutely not, but it is better than trying to focus on one conversation while blocking out another. Angella’s office isn’t meant to be separate really and a set of glass double doors doesn’t do much to block out sound for Catra.</p><p>The three of them pile into Glimmer’s jeep as she drives them around the ranch, showing Catra the pastures, waving at the staff’s houses as they pass them, and explaining the purpose of the cattle grids as they drive over them.</p><p>“We only raise horses here, but they’re effective at keeping most livestock from crossing. Sometimes small animals fall into them and we have to get the stable manager to rescue them,” Glimmer explains as they drive over the rattling bars. Catra grits her teeth. She doesn’t like the cattle grids, but at least she doesn’t have to drive over them when she is just going to the ranch office.</p><p>Glimmer parks the jeep in the sweeping parking lot outside the stables. The fields were exactly as <em>country</em> as Catra expected them to be, but the stables have a fucking <em>fountain</em> in the middle of the paved parking lot. It is clear which part of the ranch is meant for glamourous clientele.</p><p>“On the left we have our indoor arena. To the right is our riding arena, and we have paddocks behind the stables, though the building kind of blocks them from here,” Glimmer explains, gesturing to the buildings as she talks. They are arranged in a half-circle around the parking lot. This part of the ranch is well-maintained, with garden beds around the buildings and everything.</p><p>Rich people. Catra resists the urge to scoff as Glimmer hops out of the jeep, spinning her keys around on her finger.</p><p>“Come on, we can pick up Adora and bring her back up to the main house for lunch. Angella should be done with her call by then,” Glimmer tells her. Reluctantly, Catra slips from the back seat. She really doesn’t want to get <em>near</em> the horses, but at least they will all be in their little pens. She wrinkles her nose as they cross the parking lot. Yeah, that smell isn’t <em>great</em>. She doesn’t know how people work around it all day.</p><p>“Adora?” Catra questions as they enter the stable. She was under the impression she would be working with Angella and her partners primarily, with Glimmer as a coworker. Angella has many other employees, but they are all lower-rung and only involved with the ranch and horses, not Catra’s project.</p><p>“One second!” a woman’s voice replies from inside one of the nearby stalls, causing Catra to startle. The smell of <em>horse shit</em> and the movement of the beasts within their pens obscured her presence to Catra’s senses. Catra fights down the urge to growl as Bow chuckles a little at her reaction.</p><p>“Adora is the stable manager. She works under Glimmer so you guys won’t really work together, but she comes into the office often, and she always gets lunch with us. We’ve been friends since high school,” Bow explains. “Adora is one of the best racers I’ve ever met. This,” Bow places a hand proudly on the closed stall door, “is Swift Wind’s stall. Our best racehorse. He and Adora are unstoppable together,” he boasts, chest puffing with pride.</p><p>Catra makes a noncommittal sound she hopes isn’t too dismissive. She doesn’t know anything about horse racing and she doesn’t <em>care</em>. It doesn’t matter what is generating or costing the money as long as she moves it right. She is pretty sure there isn’t anything she could say that wouldn’t sound condescending. She doesn’t want to show <em>interest</em> and invite being told more.</p><p>“Oh, well, you know. Swift Wind does a lot of the work. He just hates everyone else,” Adora says, voice moving closer until the stall door swings open and a blonde in overalls, a sports bra, and <em>no shirt</em> - what the fuck, this is a place of business and Catra is way too much of a lesbian for this – steps out of the stall.</p><p>Catra feels the spike of jealousy she always gets from her soulmate when she starts lusting after someone else for about <em>half a second</em> before Adora turns to make eye contact with her and she gets hit with a wave of <em>oh no, she’s hot</em> that is so shocking it threatens to send her stumbling back. Catra stares, her heart hammering and thoughts echoing like an echo chamber, as Adora stares back.</p><p><em>She’s hot</em> and <em>wait, who-</em> and <em>this can’t</em> <em>be</em> all bounce around, half-thoughts and almost sentences. Catra’s jaw falls open and Adora’s eyes go impossibly wider as they both reach the same conclusion at the exact same moment. Glimmer and Bow are standing around them, shifting awkwardly as they exchange glances between them and each other, but nothing else <em>matters</em>.</p><p>“It’s- It’s you, isn’t it? You’re my-“ Adora starts to stutter, but Catra <em>can’t</em>.</p><p>She turns and fucking <em>runs</em>.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Catra’s job isn’t an IRL standard, but increased automation and the such has been shifting what financial managers actually do over the years, so in Modern Etheria that shift has lead to some banks offering “part-time” financial managers who work closely with a limited number of clients who need the help but can’t justify paying one full-time. Catra works for Angella and the various partners she will bring in over time, with her workload increasing up to a full-time position if all goes well. It is a great career opportunity, she just isn’t happy about leaving the city.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Circles (round and round)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p><a href="https://www.cavenders.com/master-hatters-3x-waco-silverbelly-wool-cowboy-hat/36794SF6.html">Adora’s favourite hat</a>.<br/>If you go to the “cowgirl boots” section of the Cavender’s website there is an entire SECTION for “wedding boots” – white cowboy boots to wear to nuptials – and that really says all that it needs to.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Adora’s tears are silent, overwhelming emotion pouring through her as her soulmate runs away, her heart hammering with fear.</p><p>“Adora-“ Glimmer starts, panic and confusion in her voice, but Adora just shakes her head, raising her arms to wrap them around herself as she shakes with the adrenaline pounding through both of them.</p><p>“Let her go,” she manages, her voice rough and a bit breathless, but she doesn’t think she can be blamed. She watches her soulmate’s retreating back as she flees the stables and across the parking lot, making a beeline for Glimmer’s jeep. Adora can’t tear her eyes away as she watches her <em>leap</em> into the backseat and curl into a quivering ball.</p><p>“What’s her name?” she asks, still not looking away as her breathing goes a bit short. She does her best to keep it even. Glimmer <em>told</em> her the name of the new financial manager, but it didn’t matter before. Now, it is only thing that could ever matter.</p><p>“Catra,” Bow supplies, when Glimmer is silent for a moment. Adora vaguely registers them exchanging looks, but she is pretty sure what just happened is <em>obvious</em>.</p><p>She feels a bit shaky. She takes a careful step to the side, leaning against the outside of Swift Wind’s stall to steady herself. Bow immediately steps closer, raising a hand to brace her shoulder and help her stay upright. Adora makes a quiet sound of acknowledgement, but she still can’t look away from <em>Catra</em>.</p><p>Catra is fucking terrified, and it isn’t just because of Adora. She is having a panic attack out in the open, exposed and vulnerable in unfamiliar territory. Adora’s hand shakes as she reaches down into her pocket, fumbling with the snaps for a minute before she manages to extract her house keys and thrust them out in Glimmer’s direction.</p><p>“Drive her to my house. Tell her she can let herself in and stay as long as she needs to calm down. Anything she needs. And I won’t come unless she asks for me. Just- let her process. She wasn’t- expecting-“ Adora has to cut off as her breath comes too short. Catra is having a panic attack now. Adora’s heart is racing, but she has to <em>try</em> to stay calm for Catra.</p><p>“Adora, I’m not leav-“ Glimmer starts to say, but Bow snatches the keys out of Adora’s hands before she can finish.</p><p>“Okay. Anything else?” he asks. Adora shakes her head, fighting for air for a few seconds more.</p><p>“<em>Don’t touch her</em>,” she manages to add on. At her side, Bow nods and turns to Glimmer.</p><p>“Stay with Adora, okay? I’ll take Catra,” Bow tells her. Glimmer starts to protest, but Bow levels her with a look that Adora can’t make out in her periphery as she stares intently at the small ball of Catra’s back in the distance.</p><p>
  <em>I’m going to help you.</em>
</p><p><em>Leave me alone</em>.</p><p>Well. Adora certainly isn’t doing that.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Princess is- Adora is pushing so hard at the edges of her mind, and normally Catra welcomes it during a panic attack, but not <em>this</em> time. She almost misses the approaching footsteps entirely, her ears pinning back at the crunch of gravel.</p><p>“Catra? Adora’s staying in the barn,” Bow calls, his voice low as he approaches. Catra doesn’t know what Adora is playing at. Bad enough that a stranger could <em>see</em> her while she was breaking down, but now he is <em>getting in the car with her</em>. “I’m supposed to take you to the house so you can have some privacy. Adora is staying here with Glimmer,” he says, just loud enough for Catra to hear it over her own rattling breaths. She flexes her claws into the seat as the jeep starts up.</p><p>She wants to protest. She doesn’t want to be alone with him. Adora keeps pushing <em>you can trust him</em> into her mind. She just wants to be alone, to curl up somewhere dark and safe and away from all of this. She digs her claws into the seat properly when the Jeep begins to drive. Bow doesn’t tell her to sit up, or to put a seatbelt on, and they drive a few seemingly-endless minutes with Catra still balled up in the backseat, her heart hammering and the connection with Adora getting <em>no weaker</em>.</p><p>“We’re here. This is Adora’s house. She said you have free rein, anything you need. She won’t come here unless you ask for her,” Bow says when they pull up. Catra swallows, forcing herself to sit up. Bow isn’t looking at her, instead facing the house they are parked in front of, but he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a key ring, holding it out towards the backseat.</p><p>Catra doesn’t want to go into her soulmate’s house. This is a fucking <em>trap</em>. Except she knows it isn’t, that Adora just desperately wants her to be somewhere safe. Growling, Catra reaches out and snatches the key from Bow. She practically flees from the car, running up the front steps of the porch and fumbling with the keys until the door is open and she can hurry through to slam it behind her.</p><p>Her panic attack hits like a brick wall the second she is alone.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Adora ends up on the stable floor, sat up against the wall of Swift Wind’s stall with Glimmer beside her, propping her up and holding her hand as Adora fights to keep her breathing somewhere-approaching steady as Catra gasps for breath. Swift Wind is losing his mind in the stall, whinnying and scuffing his hooves, upset by Adora’s panic, but Adora only has the capacity to calm one person at a time right now.</p><p><em>We’ll figure this out, it’s alright</em>, she keeps pushing Catra’s way and getting only panic and fear back. She doesn’t know if it is just because their emotions are so heightened at this moment or if meeting in person really broke down Catra’s last barrier, but Adora can sense <em>more</em> now. Catra collapsed just inside her door initially, but now she is curled up in a ball in the armchair, her face buried in the cushions. She didn’t turn the lights on, and Adora leaves the curtains closed during the day to avoid her living room getting sun-bleached. Catra is in darkness, somewhere quiet and safe.</p><p><em>Safe</em>. Adora pushes that her way, focusing on all the times she has curled up in that armchair to read a book. It is too much, too <em>close</em> for Catra, so she moves to the couch, thinking about relaxing there after a long day, taking naps on it mid-day when she needs to go back out and can’t be bothered to change out of her work clothes just to briefly climb into bed.</p><p>It works. Catra’s heartrate is slowing down. Her body is accepting that the house is safe for her because it’s safe for <em>Adora</em>. Adora’s breathing has evened out now. Carefully, she shifts a few inches over and sends Glimmer a tightlipped smile when she shoots Adora a look of concern – not that she has stopped looking worried since Catra ran, but she looks <em>especially</em> concerned by Adora moving to sit up on her own. She thinks it will be better for Catra though. If she can feel how Catra is sitting, she can only imagine it goes both ways, and contact has always been conflicting for Catra.</p><p>“I’m going to go into the tack room to be alone with her, okay? I’ll call you if I need anything,” Adora tells Glimmer, moving to stand slowly as Glimmer <em>hovers</em>, but Adora really isn’t lightheaded anymore. Swift Wind has <em>mostly</em> quieted down in his stall, though Adora knows he will need assurance as well.</p><p>“Adora, what just happened?” Glimmer asks, concerned, as she follows Adora’s slow steps to the tack room. Just because she doesn’t feel lightheaded doesn’t mean she is willing to take a risk while Catra is still on the edge of a panic attack.</p><p>“She’s my soulmate, Glimmer. She wasn’t ready. She never- never thought we would actually <em>meet</em>,” Adora manages. Glimmer looks downright confused. Adora has complained to her about her soulmate’s reluctance to let down her barriers and meet, but when Adora explained she was afraid, Glimmer took it to mean <em>insecurity</em> and not <em>years of abuse and shared trauma coalescing into any opening into her emotions feeling dangerous</em>.</p><p>Glimmer comforted her at the time that they were probably destined to meet by chance like her parents and that once they met in person Kitty would see she had nothing to worry about. <em>Wrong</em>. This is worse than the time Catra ran into her mother on accident.</p><p><em>Don’t say that about yourself</em>. The thought is indistinct, but Adora understands what Catra means. She is offended on her behalf for being compared to the woman. Adora opens the tack room door, stepping inside and turning to give Glimmer a reassuring smile.</p><p>“Just let me be with her for a bit, okay?” she tells her. Glimmer doesn’t look very convinced, but she nods. Adora closes the door and, without turning on the light, goes to settle down on the floor by the saddles. She knows this room as well as she knows her own home – better, maybe. She spends her days here, naps here sometimes, and can find her away around even in the pitch darkness of night.</p><p>There is plenty of light to see by filtering in under the door – at least there will be once her eyes get adjusted – but now she is also somewhere safe and dark, unexposed. Through the bond, she can feel the peacefulness calming Catra.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Okay, this panic attack might be <em>nearly</em> as bad as when she ran into Weaver, but the emotions aren’t. She can’t abide by Adora comparing herself to that bitch. Not when she is going to all these lengths to create a safe space for Catra – and then putting <em>herself</em> in the kind of space Catra would be comfortable in too. It helps a lot. Catra’s breathing comes back under control, as does her heartrate. She still- she is still fucking <em>terrified</em> that Adora is here. She is in a small town. She can’t run, she can’t <em>hide</em>. Adora could ruin her life overnight.</p><p><em>Why? Why would I</em>?</p><p>Because she can. She has the power to. Catra is shaky as she unfurls from her tight ball, shifting around until she is lounging in the armchair instead of hiding in its cushions. She feels safe here, in this space, but her mind is already spiraling out into all the things Adora could do to her now. She could tell Angella about her unhealthy personal life. She could call her manager and tell them about how often she goes out and parties until three A.M. She could not only ruin her life here in town, but maybe even get her fired. Catra curls in tighter again, spiraling for a <em>second</em> time-</p><p><em>She won’t care</em>. Angella won’t care about how Catra spends her free time if she can still get the job done. That’s what Adora thinks, anyway. Catra swallows, her eyes stinging with tears a little bit. Okay, so if Catra can take care of the finances, really make this project succeed, then Angella won’t care about her background. Running off to have a panic attack in the middle of the day doesn’t really make her seem <em>capable</em>, but if she can get back under control, return to work, <em>avoid Adora-</em></p><p><em>I don’t want to hurt you</em>. Yeah, Catra doesn’t quite believe that, but she is at least able to sit up in the chair. She slumps against its back, trying to distract herself by eyeing the space her soulmate lives in. The living room is decent-sized, only separated from the kitchen by the island counter and cabinets. In the wall behind her are two doors. She doesn’t need to look in them to know they are a bathroom and laundry room. Down the hall is Adora’s bedroom, even if Catra can’t see it from here.</p><p>The living room is quaint and very country. It isn’t Catra’s style, but it is serene. Safe. Catra focuses on just breathing deeply for several moments. The entire space smells like – well, it smells like Adora. She is the only one who lives here, the scent has to be hers, but Catra also just <em>knows</em> it now, even if the smell of the stables was covering it up when they met.</p><p>She hates how that smell causes warmth to spread through her. Why does it feel safe when it <em>isn’t</em>? Adora thinks it is because Catra knows she doesn’t want to hurt her. Catra scowls. Sure, maybe not right now, but she <em>could</em>. She could tear Catra apart in a heartbeat, manipulate her into doing anything. If Weaver could do it, Adora <em>definitely</em> can.</p><p>Adora resists the idea. She doesn’t want to manipulate Catra. Sure, <em>right now</em>. Catra slumps down in the chair. As much as the vague back-and-forth is getting them nowhere, it is <em>helping</em>. Something to focus on rather than spiraling. Catra takes a few breaths and then checks the time. She winces when she sees lunch is half-way over. Whatever, she has skipped eating plenty of times to get shit done or have a breakdown. Adora is scowling at that idea, but Catra needs to get back, appear professional, and pretend this little episode never happened.</p><p>She has a plan, even if Adora hates it.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Adora emerges from the tack room as Catra begins driving again. Glimmer immediately jolts up from where she was leaned against the stable wall.</p><p>“Doing better?” she questions, falling in step with Adora as she begins to make her way out of the stable. Adora nods, grabbing her favourite hat off the hook on Swift Wind’s stall so it can cut the intensity of the sun a bit after spending several minutes in a dark room. She has to take out her ponytail to wear it, but when she isn’t shoveling the stalls, having her hair down isn’t a problem. She snaps her hair tie onto her wrist and ducks her face under the brim of her hat as they continue on to the bright parking lot.</p><p>“She’s calmed down. I think she and Bow are going back to the office,” Adora tells Glimmer as they approach her pickup. Glimmer narrows her eyes at Adora over the bed of the truck as Adora rounds it.</p><p>“Adora, your soulmate just <em>ran away</em>. How do <em>you</em> feel?” Glimmer asks her. Adora blows out a long breath as she drops onto the driver’s seat. A moment later, the car door slams as Glimmer climbs into the passenger side. Neither of them bothers with a seatbelt as Adora starts up the car. They rarely do when they know they are staying on the ranch.</p><p>“I knew she was going to. I told you she didn’t want to meet,” Adora says. It- it doesn’t <em>hurt</em>. She knew it was coming, and it says nothing about her personally that Catra doesn’t trust her – it is about everything that she has been through, not Adora. She can feel Adora’s intentions and <em>still</em> doesn’t trust them. That is a wound that runs deep.</p><p>Adora still <em>hoped</em>. She hoped that they would meet in person and Catra’s barriers would come down – that Adora would feel the same love echoing back onto herself that she has always felt for her soulmate. It was a stupid hope, clearly, but it was there. Adora sighs again as they pull out of the parking lot.</p><p>“I’m disappointed, but not surprised. She’s a good person, but she has had shitty things happen to her,” Adora shrugs. Glimmer narrows her eyes at the side of Adora’s head. For several minutes, it is silent as Adora takes one of the few paved roads on the ranch towards the offices.</p><p>“You said she had a similar childhood to you. That you used to hide together,” Glimmer says, her voice quieter and less accusing. Adora flinches. Yeah, she has admitted that before. Divulging more didn’t feel right, but even saying that much is a lot. Glimmer has threatened to flatten Hordak’s testicles on Bow’s anvil if he ever shows up around here.</p><p>“That’s personal. Don’t ask her about it. You’re only going to drive her away,” Adora returns. She <em>really</em> needs Glimmer to not spook her soulmate. Glimmer is intense on the best of days, and she is fiercely protective of Adora. She doesn’t need Glimmer demanding to know why Catra ran. Adora knows, and that’s all that matters.</p><p>“I’m going to win her over, but it will take me time. Leave her alone and just let me work, alright? It’s like taming the barn cats. I know what I’m doing,” Adora assures Glimmer. Adora has trained hundreds of animals, from feral cats to horses. She knows how to avoid spooking a skittish creature – and she knows her soulmate is much the same way. Glimmer looks a mix of skeptical and incredulous.</p><p>“She’s a hybrid, not an <em>animal</em>,” Glimmer points out. Adora huffs, rolling her eyes as she spots Glimmer’s jeep already parked in the ranch office parking lot, empty. Adora parks alongside it, turning off the truck before twisting to face the passenger seat. She leaves the key in the ignition. They usually do when they aren’t getting out for long. Adora already knows Catra isn’t going to want her to hang around.</p><p>“I know, but she is a <em>little</em> feral. Just let me do this on her terms, alright? It is the only way this is going to work. Treat her like your coworker, for now,” Adora begs, sending Glimmer her best puppy eyes. Glimmer clearly wants to argue, but after a moment she sighs and throws up her hands.</p><p>“Fine. You know your soulmate, and I trust you. But if she starts jerking you around-“ Glimmer starts. Adora sends her a flat look as she opens up the pickup door.</p><p>“She’s going to jerk me around. She needs to test me to make sure I won’t react badly. And I’ll <em>pass</em>,” Adora tells Glimmer. Glimmer <em>stares</em> at her, but Adora just gets out of the car. After a moment of ducking her head to continue to stare at her, Glimmer gives up and gets out of the car, slamming the door behind her to express her displeasure. Adora snorts as they head to the offices.</p><p>Catra’s anticipation and nerves are building. She can feel Adora approaching her.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Bow asked her if she wanted to go to the stable or the ranch offices when she emerged from Adora’s house. Catra replied that they should head back to the offices before lunch was done. If she had more time, she would have made an excuse about forgetting her lunch and needing to drive into town for it, but lunch will be over soon, even if leaving would give her time to get her head on right.</p><p>Her soulmate is <em>determined</em>, Catra will give her that, but it isn’t surprising. They share the trait. Angella is off her conference call when they return, and she greets them cheerily, though she clearly picks up that something isn’t quite <em>right</em>. Catra settles at her desk to eat and studiously does not look up as she feels Adora approach the doors.</p><p>“Ah, Glimmer, there you are. I should have known you were fetching Adora,” Angella greets when the office doors open. Catra flattens her ears to the sides of her head and doesn’t tear her eyes away from her shrimp scampi.</p><p>“Can’t break our lunch tradition,” Glimmer replies, though her voice is not exactly <em>casual</em>. Catra sighs, bracing for a second before she looks up. Glimmer has made it to the open doorway into Angella’s office, but Adora is hovering just inside the front door and sending Catra <em>puppy eyes</em>. Catra flushes and ducks her head at how instantly Adora perks up upon Catra’s eyes landing on her.</p><p>She opened the floodgates. Adora throws Angella a non-committal greeting as she crosses the room, coming to stand before Catra’s desk. Her desk here is nicer than the cubicle she has in the corner of the bank. It is made of real wood, large and clearly <em>authentically vintage</em>. The drawer pulls are the kind of brass that hasn’t been used in home décor for several decades, but she has plenty of room to work and store things.</p><p>“Can I sit?” Adora asks, her voice soft. Catra’s heart thud loudly as she nods, still looking down at her lunch. Why does even Adora’s <em>voice</em> have to be pretty. In the few seconds she has looked at the other girl so far, she has seen enough to assess that she is fucking <em>gorgeous</em>. She has her hair down now, and the hat may be stereotypical and stupid, but she is still an utter bombshell.</p><p>Oh- Adora felt that. Catra glances up, finding Adora’s cheeks just as red as her own as she gapes at her. After a moment, Adora rallies, though Catra can feel how that realization made her heart flutter in her chest.</p><p>“I’m Adora Grayskull,” Adora offers, extending her hand across the desk. Catra blinks at her, incredulous. She fucking <em>knows</em>. She has been in her house and in her <em>head</em>. Adora rolls her eyes, still blushing, and wiggles her hand a little.</p><p>“I want to do this properly,” she explains. Catra arches a brow, but she reluctantly puts her fork down, well aware they are being watched by the other people in the room as she reaches across the desk and shakes Adora’s hand.</p><p>“Catra,” she admits, reluctantly. There is no reason to withhold it. One of her coworkers would tell Adora if she didn’t. Adora <em>beams</em>, bright like sunshine and fuck, why does that make Catra’s heart hurt? Catra scowls, dropping Adora’s hand and returning to her meal. She is fucking <em>starving</em> after damn-near passing out from her panic attack.</p><p>“I’m the stable manager. I work with the horses - and pretty much every other animal here,” Adora tells her. Catra lets out a noncommittal grunt as she, unfortunately, takes her last bite and doesn’t have an excuse to ignore Adora anymore. It at least gives her a few seconds to think as she turns to dump her empty container in the trash.</p><p>Angella won’t care about Catra’s past – and likely <em>ongoing</em> vice problem, if her first day is anything to go by – as long as she can get her job done. She needs to be professional, which she certainly <em>isn’t</em> being right now. She sighs, turning back to face Adora and forcing herself to sit up straight.</p><p>“Financial manager for the Thaymor Revitalization project. I’m new to the country, so forgive my manners. In the city, you only talk to a stranger if you’re interested in robbing them,” Catra returns. Adora actually chuckles at that – as does Bow, in the background over by Glimmer’s desk, though he sounds a bit more <em>nervous</em>. Adora eyes her for a moment. Catra can feel her pushing at the edges of her mind, trying to feel how far she can go.</p><p>Catra is exhausted, and she doesn’t want to talk to Adora <em>ever</em>. If Adora genuinely doesn’t want to hurt her, she won’t do anything to her in retaliation, but letting her soulmate talk to her leaves her open to all kinds of manipulation and pain. Adora frowns, sitting back in her chair a little.</p><p>“I want to be friends,” she says, quietly. Catra flinches. She feels so fucking caught, her boss <em>feet</em> away-</p><p>“I’m sorry, that was too far. I’ll leave you alone now. Have a good rest of your day, okay? I’ll be around. You know where I live,” Adora tells her, finishing with a bit of a wry, self-deprecating smile. Catra swallows, a bit shocked as she watches Adora stand. Adora is- disappointed, a bit sad, but she doesn’t seem surprised. She definitely <em>shouldn’t</em> be.</p><p>Catra still feels guilty. She ducks her head, staring down at her lap as her ears swivel to listen to Adora crossing the office. Her heart is beating a bit fast. She can’t keep getting caught off-guard like this, it is fucking <em>exhausting</em>. She draws in a breath, looking up again. Adora’s step falters before Catra can even speak.</p><p>“Adora, wait,” Catra calls, softly. Adora halts, not turning for a moment. When she does, she sends Catra a far-too hopeful look.</p><p>“After work?” she asks, sensing Catra’s thoughts. Catra swallows and nods. They <em>have</em> to set boundaries. Adora isn’t going to like any of them, but that isn’t Catra’s problem. Adora lights up a little, smiling at her and nodding so fast she <em>bounces</em> on the heels of her feet. What the fuck, that’s adorable.</p><p>Catra is going to need to round up that thought later and put it in the stockades to make an example of it, but whatever. Adora actually feels <em>hopeful</em> for the first time since they met, and she leaves the office smiling. Catra finds herself staring at the door for several moments after it has closed behind Adora. Her soulmate is a shining <em>beacon</em> in the back of her mind, utterly relieved Catra has agreed to speak to her even though she knows her intention is to tell her to <em>leave her alone</em>.</p><p>It is silent in the office for several moments. Glimmer has made her way to her desk, where her and Bow were eating together and shooting Catra and Adora furtive glances as they talked. Now, they are both conspicuously not looking Catra’s way. Catra is fine with that. She <em>felt</em> Adora’s concern that Glimmer would bother her. Maybe if she starts, Catra can threaten to tell on her to Adora. She is already pretty sure the two have that kind of friendship dynamic.</p><p>From her office – the French doors to which are wide open now – Angella clears her throat. Catra reaches for the notes on her desk that she and Glimmer made earlier in the day, tucking them under her arm as she stands to approach the office, drawing to a halt just outside the door.</p><p>“I have the notes from this morning prepared for whenever you are ready to review them,” Catra tells her, back straight and tail down, the picture of professionalism. Well, most humans curl their noses a little at hybrids' lack of shoes, so the picture of <em>hybrid</em> standards of professionalism. Angella gives Catra a once-over before meeting Catra’s eyes with a raised eyebrow.</p><p>“I take it you are Adora’s soulmate?” she questions. Catra feels a spike of <em>some</em> emotion, fuck her if she knows what it is, just that it is <em>bad</em>. Why Angella even knows Adora has one is a mystery - Catra had certainly kept that information private when it came to her previous workplaces - but it is too late to deny it now. She nods, short and curt.</p><p>“I assure you, I will be perfectly professional,” Catra promises her, voice neutral. To her surprise, Angella breathes out a laugh and inclines her head back, indicating for Catra to enter her office. Catra hesitates, but after a moment she follows orders, approaching the desk and placing her notes on it.</p><p>“That won’t be necessary, but I appreciate the dedication. Adora is like a daughter to me. Just treat her well and there will be no issues,” Angella tells her. Catra’s blood runs to <em>ice</em> as she glances down to Angella’s hand and confirms there is, in fact, a ring there.</p><p><em>She’s safe</em>, Adora promises her. Okay, Catra’s heart can resume beating as she settles in the chair across the desk from Angella. Maybe Angella’s ex is the one that hurt Adora. It was her father, Catra knows that for sure, but she was under the impression that Adora's father was <em>single</em>. She chews on the inside of her cheek for a moment, but quickly releases it when she feels discomfort echo from Adora over the pain of Catra’s fangs on her inner cheek.</p><p>She can ask when they talk. Just to be sure.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Catra feels awkward and out of her element for the rest of the day, which is always terribly draining on her, but Adora tries to stay calm and positive. Anything she can do to balance it out should help her get through it.</p><p>Was Catra’s reaction the one she wanted? No, but she knew it was the one she would get, and Catra is <em>here</em>. Catra hasn’t fled to a completely different city or anything. Adora has time to woo her and convince her she really doesn’t mean her harm. She focuses on the fact that her soulmate is <em>here</em> and she could just go up to the offices if she wants to see her. It helps her get through the rest of the day.</p><p>Swift Wind is concerned for her after seeing her breakdown earlier in the day and not being able to help from his stall. He keeps snatching her hat when she walks by his stall and prancing to the far corner with it so she is forced to come in to fetch it. He inspects her each time, nosing her and playfully nudging her with his entire head.</p><p>“I’m <em>fine</em> now, Swifty. I promise,” she assures him, wrapping her arms around his head and placing a kiss between his eyes. Swift Wind blows out air, not entirely convinced, but he lets her slip from the stall again without making a bolt for it. It is a good thing too – Adora has to leave now if she is going to make it back up to the ranch offices before Catra gets out.</p><p>Catra isn’t that close to leaving. If Adora didn’t know better – or if she knew <em>how</em> to through the bond – she would accuse Catra of trying to assure her. Instead, Adora just fixes her hat back in place and grins to herself as she jogs out of the stable, waving to the grooms as she goes and calling out that she will see them later. This is far more important than anything happening with the horses right now. They can do the roundup of the pastures <em>without her</em>. They used to manage fine before Swift Wind – they can figure it out again.</p><p>Adora hops in her car, happily making the brisk drive up to the ranch offices. Catra is still busy inside, caught up with Angella – logistics, Adora thinks. She knows the financial manager is only supposed to be here two days a week, which is really a damn <em>shame</em>, but maybe it will be for the best initially. It will certainly force Adora to give Catra the space she needs.</p><p>Only seeing her soulmate twice a week kind of sounds like <em>torture</em> to Adora right now, but Catra is going to need that space most likely. Catra finishes what she was doing and Adora feels herself perking up as the office door swings open. Despite knowing she was waiting for her, Catra’s blinks a little in surprise when she sees Adora settled on the porch sofa.</p><p>Adora pats the seat beside her hopefully, sending Catra a pleading look. Catra’s ears pin back, a blush forming on her cheeks as she quickly looks away, out towards the parking lot. Her tail sways uncertainly behind her for a moment before she sighs and jerks her head, indicating for Adora to follow.</p><p>“Not here. Follow me,” she instructs. Adora immediately springs up, following Catra down the porch steps and across the parking lot to the one unfamiliar car there. It is older, a small four-seater, though it only has one door on each side. Catra draws to a halt beside the burgundy car, turning to lean against it and cross her arms, eyeing Adora for a moment.</p><p>“My coworkers were listening at the door,” she elaborates. Adora snorts, reaching up to tilt her hat back a little and get a clearer look at Catra. It isn’t like the sun is high enough to be a problem anymore. Adora feels the flash of a thought of <em>cowgirl</em> that then splinters into two <em>very different</em> directions that has both of them blushing. Catra turns her head to look down the length of the road and Adora looks to the house, coughing into her hand a little.</p><p>“Listen, I didn’t want- You <em>know</em> I never wanted to meet you in person,” Catra tells her, the tip of her tail twitching against the side of the car as she continues to stare down the road. Adora scrutinizes her for a moment, mentally reaching out- “Stop that,” Catra snaps, her nose wrinkling a bit. Adora sighs, feeling her shoulders fall a bit.</p><p>“I know you never wanted to meet. I also know you kind of <em>did</em>,” Adora returns. Catra twitches a little, but she doesn’t look at Adora. “I know why you don’t want to be friends. I get it. You’ve been through too much. But you can tell I don’t want to hurt you, can’t you?” Adora asks, quietly, her tone a little too pleading, but she <em>has</em> to know. Catra’s ears pin back again as she glares at the horizon.</p><p>“Doesn’t mean you <em>won’t</em>,” she returns, voice a bit petulant. Adora isn’t surprised – petulant is kind of Catra’s whole thing. She pauses, reassessing for a moment.</p><p>“Give me two days a week. Just- let me be around,” Adora requests. Catra finally looks to her, arching a brow.</p><p>“I have <em>work</em> to do when I’m here, Adora. I’m not your love story. You need to let that go,” Catra tells her, voice flat. It’s a lie. Adora <em>stares</em> at her, watching Catra’s eyes go wide as she realizes Adora felt that. She hunches her shoulders a little, her tail curling around her legs.</p><p>“I wanted that back when we were <em>kids</em>, Adora. You know I’ve been calling you Princess this whole time? You needed a name and it stuck around from when I was a fucking kitten<em>. </em>If you haven't noticed, I'm not innocent anymore,” Catra tells her, doing her level best to scowl as her heart is pounding in her chest. Adora blushes a little, not really sure why. For a moment, Catra just stares at her, waiting.</p><p>“I won’t bother you <em>during</em> work. I always get lunch up here. It would be, like, two hours a week. That’s all I’m asking for,” Adora tells her. She really doesn’t want to make Catra uncomfortable – but she wants to get to <em>know</em> her. Catra sighs, heavy and a bit frustrated as she leans back from her hunched position, giving in.</p><p>“I’m fine with you – I don’t know, vaguely being around, but I don’t want to talk. Get lunch with Glimmer. I don’t have to be part of it,” Catra tells her, waving one hand carelessly through the air. Her claws are unsheathed, dark and glinting in the sunlight. Catra flushes. “Stop being a lesbian. I’m serious, here,” she chastises, crossing her arms again. Adora flushes, doing her best to stamp down on any thought related to <em>fingers</em> and <em>nails</em> and <em>dragging down her back</em>.</p><p>The thought interests Catra, but it doesn’t- it isn’t in quite the same way. Catra just thinks it sounds fun, and Adora wants to know what her gorgeous voice would sound like breathing out her name. All these years with each other, and yet Adora never knew the woman on the other side of the connection sounded like <em>this</em>.</p><p>“I know you need time. I’m willing to wait. Just give me a little time each week,” Adora asks her, trying to ignore <em>all</em> of that. Friends seems like a reasonable middle ground. Yes, she would happily move Catra into her house this weekend – Catra shoots her an incredulous look at that thought – but Adora will be happy just getting to have Catra in her life.</p><p>Catra flushes at that thought, shifting a little where she stands. Her ears pin back as she thinks it over. Adora does her best to give her privacy to consider it, showing Catra she can respect her boundaries. After a moment, Catra sighs and shrugs, never uncrossing her arms.</p><p>“I don’t know, okay? You- Adora, you <em>know</em>-“ she trails off. <em>You know I care about you</em>. Yeah, she does. Adora takes a risk on taking a step closer, watching the way Catra goes unnaturally still in response, but though she is <em>nervous</em>, Adora feels no spike of fear from her. Adora takes another step, bringing them almost chest-to-chest. Catra’s fur is bristling now, causing goosebumps to breakout across Adora’s arm, but she still isn’t <em>afraid</em>.</p><p>She lets Adora reach across the gap between them and pet the top of her head carefully before she scratches at the spot just behind Catra’s ear that makes her melt. Catra immediately sags a little, a soft purr beginning in her chest as her eyes flutter closed in response. Adora feels breathless, finally <em>hearing</em> the purr she has only felt by proxy before. There is a war of emotions waging inside Catra – Adora can’t tell how she feels, but she suspects Catra can’t either – and Adora can feel her exhaustion from everything over the course of the day. The purr is a welcome respite, but Adora also knows she is pushing her luck.</p><p>Reluctantly, she drops her hand, though she sneaks in a small caress of Catra’s ear as she does so. It is unbelievably soft, and all Adora wants to do is kiss that softness, but she <em>definitely</em> can’t do that right now. Maybe one day, but she doubts Catra will ever be comfortable with <em>more than friends</em> considering her resistance to <em>acquaintances</em>. Adora steps back again, giving Catra her space. Catra opens her eyes slowly as Adora does so, eyeing her. Adora takes a breath and then sends her the best encouraging smile she has.</p><p>“Take your time. I’m not going anywhere. You know where to find me when you’re ready,” Adora tells her. Catra wrinkles up her face, clearly wanting to protest, but after a minute she just sighs and pushes off the car, turning around to unlock it. She is too tired to argue this right now. She is satisfied that Adora won’t start yelling her business around, even if she doesn’t <em>trust</em> her.</p><p>Catra pauses as the car door pops open, turning to look at her with an expression Adora knows is supposed to be unreadable, but it isn’t to her - it’s anxiety.</p><p>“Angella said you are like a daughter to her,” Catra says, a non sequitur if they couldn’t feel each other and knew each other’s pasts. Adora draws in a breath, a little warmed by the worry, and shakes her head.</p><p>“I befriended Glimmer during high school between races and coming here to buy horses. When I turned eighteen, I managed to hitchhike my way here to ask Angella for a job as a stable hand. They know about how I grew up. And that you were in a similar boat. I never said more,” Adora tells her, shaking her head a little. Catra blows out a long breath, relieved and worried, but she nods.</p><p>“What’s his name?” she asks, flinching a little as she does so. Adora winces back.</p><p>“Hordak. He’s a few towns over. You shouldn’t run into him. I haven’t in years,” Adora assures her. Catra just nods, opening her car door all the way so she can plop down in the driver’s seat.</p><p>“You didn’t deserve his shit,” Catra tells her as she puts the keys in the ignition. Adora’s heart is going to <em>give out</em> after everything it has been through today.</p><p>“Neither did you,” she returns. She feels the twinge from Catra – she knows, but she doesn’t. That’s fair. Adora is the same way.</p><p>They really are soulmates. The sentiment makes Catra chuckle a little as she turns to grab the car door and eye Adora.</p><p>“I’m okay being in town with you. I don’t want to be friends,” she tells Adora. Adora just nods. She is going to change her mind. It isn’t manipulation if she <em>tells</em> Catra that from the start. Catra arches an eyebrow at her.</p><p>“We’ll work on it. I’m going to grow on you. Like a fungus,” Adora promises her. Catra’s eyes light up, and she genuinely laughs as she slams the car door shut and does her seatbelt. She doesn’t look at Adora as she drives away, but she doesn’t need to. She is thinking about how she didn’t expect her soulmate to be funny, and that is good enough.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This entire chapter is just<br/>Catra: We're not going to be friends<br/>Adora: Okay. I'm changing your mind :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Testing (limits)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I feel the need to bust out the age-old reminder that Catra is an unreliable narrator. She is going to say factually wrong things with complete confidence. Contradictions are intentional lmao.<br/>As always, magicats are red colourblind.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Catra has never been more drained in her life. She collapses onto the mattress she bought on Saturday, wrestling out of her clothes so she can curl up in a ball and <em>decompress</em>.</p><p>Adora, really, isn’t that bad. Not that she expected her to be. That’s kind of the problem – Adora being too easy to let in, getting too deep beneath her skin. The bond has definitely gotten stronger now that they have met in person. That is normal, as far as Catra knows, but she doesn’t <em>like</em> it. She wants privacy. She wants independence. She doesn’t want a soulmate trapping her, tying her down, knowing every way she could possibly manipulate her.</p><p>Except Adora isn’t <em>like that</em>. Catra is never going to be Adora’s wife and Adora needs to bury that notion out behind the stables where it belongs with the other shit, but working at the same place and seeing each other in passing doesn’t sound <em>terrible</em>. Catra would rather only be in the same town as Adora, independent and not working together, but that isn’t really an option.</p><p>Having Adora around but not actually in contact sounds like the ideal to Catra, even if Adora wouldn’t agree. Adora is trying to pull back right now, give her room to think. Catra can tell because she isn’t having a reaction to her every thought as Catra works through it.</p><p>An hour, twice a week. Catra can- she can <em>do</em> that. It might not be that bad, really. She doesn’t think Adora can lay too much groundwork to manipulate her in an hour. She knows Adora isn’t thinking about her like that, but there is the risk that Catra lets her in first and then she <em>begins</em> to. With Scorpia, she kind of had no choice but to let her in since she needed a roommate, but if worst came to worst she could grab her shit and bolt for a shelter. There isn’t really <em>running</em> from a soulmate, and Adora would know just how to talk her out of it.</p><p>Catra sighs, lying back on her mattress. She has trust issues, <em>so what</em>. She has an entire weekend before she has to see Adora again, and she can work on meditation or some shit to strengthen her barriers in the meantime.</p><p>The worst part, she thinks, as she drifts into sleep hours earlier than usual, is that part of her doesn’t <em>want</em> to wait until Tuesday to see Adora again. Adora was so sweet to her. She knew exactly what Catra was trying to say, even knew her sweet spots. It makes sense, she is <em>in her head</em> after all, but it still took Catra by surprise – and scared her. It only makes letting Adora in more dangerous.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Adora manages not to wake Catra up when she gets up on Friday. It is nice to have some time to sort out her thoughts as she mindlessly preps the stables.</p><p>She isn’t conflicted like Catra is, but she does need some time to mourn. Catra is decidedly <em>not</em> interested in a romance, no matter how Adora feels. Adora is going to do everything she can to respect that boundary, but she doesn’t want to even think what they are going to do when it comes to their <em>schedule</em>.</p><p>Catra is- Catra is <em>drop dead gorgeous</em>, okay? Her ears are adorable, her fur is so soft, her eyes are just the right kind of wicked, and even in slacks and a button down, Adora could make out her hips and her waistline. Adora is well aware of what was hiding <em>beneath</em> that button down, too. Catra is kind of everything Adora could hope for, except <em>interested</em>.</p><p>It is fine. Adora knows why, and she will show Catra she can be trusted. She will show her that she is a good friend. She won’t push her for too much, too fast, even though Adora’s entire <em>thing</em> is kind of doing too much at all times. It is how she got to be the racer she is today.</p><p>Adora pauses in her duties, turning to eye Swift Wind’s stable. She needs a ride - to just lose her head in the adrenaline for a bit.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Catra wakes later than she expected, though still before her alarm. She managed to sleep through her Adora wakeup call – at first, anyway. Now, Adora’s blood is pumping, the best kind of adrenaline flooding through her. Catra has long known her soulmate was an adrenaline junky, but it wasn’t until this moment she realized where she got that adrenaline <em>from</em>.</p><p>Bow said Adora is one of the best racers they have. Catra can feel why, the joy and adrenaline pouring through her by proxy as Adora’s horse bolts forward. She is somewhere open, with plenty of room to run and lose herself. One of the pastures maybe. It feels <em>good</em>, leaving Catra both weirdly content and wired, her fur fluffing up a little.</p><p>Catra knows what she usually does when she feels like this. It is different now, though. Now she knows Adora is settled on a saddle, and she knows what she <em>looks</em> like. She can easily imagine it is Adora’s hands sliding down her body-</p><p>Oh, Adora caught that thought. She is slowing, her heart pounding. Catra doesn’t doubt she is blushing furiously, but the brim of that stupid hat will probably cover it up to anyone she passes by. Catra should- she doesn’t <em>know</em> what she should do. This is the awkward part of having a soulmate, the part the movies about <em>destined love</em> never talk about. This was always fine before, but now Catra is going to have to meet Adora’s eyes on Tuesday.</p><p><em>Is this okay</em>? Catra asks, settling her hand on her lower stomach. She just hopes the thought comes through clear enough for Adora to understand it. It isn’t like she is going to <em>give up</em> on touching herself entirely now they have met. Yeah, the day after is a bit <em>soon</em>, but it is Adora’s fault for getting her blood pumping. Adora is silent for a long moment, moving at a slow pace now and breathing deeply as she thinks it over.</p><p><em>Yes</em>. Adora isn’t going to join her. She is going to keep riding, letting her blood pump in a different way. Catra can <em>definitely</em> work with that. Adora breaks into a run again as Catra’s hand finally slides down to meet herself.</p><p>Adora’s heart is pounding. She is going to be thinking about this for the rest of the day – <em>good</em>. Let her be the distracted one for once. Catra stretches out in her bed, letting out soft sighs as the heat floods through her and she works her fingers in circling motions. Air is a bit hard to come by between Adora’s heavy breathing and the way the flooding sensations are causing Catra to gasp, but she doesn’t have a roommate anymore to question why she is letting out soft moans and gasps, so she makes no effort to hold down her noises.</p><p>Adora is kind of losing her mind, and it is only driving Catra more wild, heat pouring through her knowing how badly Adora wants to <em>help</em>, either by touching herself or touching Catra. Catra’s breath stutters as she closes her eyes, picturing Adora above her, hands traveling down her body until she is pressing in as Catra touches herself.</p><p>She has to add a second hand, fucking herself with one as she touches herself with the other. This isn’t a <em>new</em> fantasy, but it feels that way now they have actually met. She knows Adora can get the gist of the thought. She is worked up too now, urging her horse faster just to meet the burning beneath her skin with cold wind stinging against her.</p><p>Catra hooks her fingers, rolling her hips down to meet the pressure as it builds and then <em>holds</em>, a wonderful moment of blissful suspension before her orgasm rushes over her and she goes limps in the sheets. Miles away, Adora brings her horse to an abrupt halt, both of them breathing heavily.</p><p>Okay, that was <em>way more intense</em> than before, and it has never been <em>casual</em>.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Adora seriously considers locking herself in the tack room for a quickie when she gets back. Catra is <em>smug</em> about it. Unfortunately, she has duties she has kind of put off in favor of her ride, so she forces herself to take slow breathes as she carefully unsaddles Swift Wind and removes his bridle. Swift Wind noses at her, barely even breathing heavily anymore.</p><p>“Love you too, buddy,” Adora promises him, hugging his head and pressing a few kisses between his eyes before she heads out of the stall to face the day. Catra is feeling good, a warm haze in the back of her mind as she gets up and goes about her own day. The secondhand endorphins will have to be enough.</p><p>Shortly before lunch, Bow stops by to look at their blue hen’s shoes. She isn’t a racer, but she is showing wear. Adora brings her to the tie stall so Bow can have a proper look at her, and then she brings Swift Wind over to tie outside the stall, offering comfort to his older sister. Their mother is long gone, but she gave them the best broodmare they’ve had in a decade, and then she gave them Swift Wind.</p><p>“I’m going to need to refit her. She needs a full round of care, too,” Bow tells her when he finishes looking her over. Adora nods, already making a mental note to add checking her hooves into her morning routine. Adora can be a bit <em>scattered</em>, but it is only because she has so many things suspended in her head at once, bouncing between them at a rate that others sometime struggle to keep up with.</p><p>“Got everything you need?” she asks, and Bow nods. Adora busies herself with returning Swift Wind to his stall before fetching the mare, studiously ignoring how Bow is just <em>hanging around</em> in a way he usually doesn’t after he has finished his work.</p><p>“How’s Catra?” Bow asks her when her path through the stable brings her walking past him again. Adora flushes immediately, ducking her head and <em>wishing</em> for her hat to hide her face. Unfortunately, she prefers a high ponytail to keep her hair off her neck in addition to getting it out of her face, and that is kind of incompatible with a hat. She only wears one in winter or when she is out riding.</p><p>“Good,” Adora coughs, scuffing her boot on the stable floor. Bow raises both his eyebrows, crossing his arms and leaning back against the wall. Adora heaves a sigh, rolling her eyes. “She’s <em>skittish</em>, okay? If anyone pushes her too fast, she is going to bolt. I’m fine with waiting. She’s worth it,” Adora tells him. Bow softens a little, taking her in for a moment.</p><p>“And how are you doing?” he asks, softly. Adora rolls her eyes, straightening out her back.</p><p>“Bow, I’m <em>fine</em>. We talked, and she is fine with me being around, it’s just being friends that makes her nervous. I’ll give her time to get used to me before I push for more,” Adora tells him. Bow raises an eyebrow, pointedly looking off to the left. Adora follows the line of his gaze to find the new stray that has been alluding her blinking at them from under a wheelbarrow.</p><p>“You said you just <em>needed time</em> when it came to them, too,” he points out. Adora scoffs, sending Bow a glare as the stray tilts their head at the noise.</p><p>“And it’s <em>working</em>. When they first showed up, they ran at the mere sight of me,” Adora promises him. Bow snorts, glancing between Adora and the grey cat.</p><p>“That’s what Catra did too,” he observes. Adora grins in response.</p><p>“<em>Exactly</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Catra texts Scorpia <em>big news</em>, counts to ten, and finds her phone ringing before she makes it to nine.</p><p>“Are you doing alright? I know you texted you were tired yesterday, but you never <em>called</em>, and you know I worry,” Scorpia rushes out when Catra picks up the phone. Catra rolls her eyes, lounging back in her driver’s seat. Her apartment has a grand total of two pieces of furniture right now and she doesn’t really want to hang out there, so she drove to the next town over to go to the movie theatre after work. The movie doesn’t start for another half hour though and she has time to catch up with her best friend.</p><p>“No fresh stab wounds. I just couldn’t carry on another conversation,” Catra assures her. Scorpia makes a sound of <em>concern</em>.</p><p>“Your first day at the ranch office was that bad?” she asks, sounding sad. Catra glares at the bumper of the car parked in front of her. No, it wasn’t actually <em>bad</em>, ignoring the panic attack that Adora helped her through. Work itself was fine. She still can’t figure out why Bow spent all day hanging out in the office seeing as he is apparently a <em>blacksmith</em>, but her coworkers are mostly nice enough. There’s just the <em>one</em> that is a problem.</p><p>“Work was fine. I just ran into someone I wasn’t expecting,” Catra admits, picking at a piece of the seat upholstering that is broken and peeling up. Real leather her ass.</p><p>“<em>How</em>? You’ve been in town for a week,” Scorpia questions, sounding both cautious and confused. Catra draws in a deep breath, blowing it out at she speaks.</p><p>“I met my soulmate. She works there too,” she admits, only to be immediately drowned out by a gasp and then a <em>squeal</em>.</p><p>“Babe, babe! Catra met Princess!” Scorpia yells, barely moved away from the phone receiver. Catra winces, holding the phone away from her ear as excited noises in the background grow louder, the woman producing them moving closer.</p><p>“Tell me <em>everything.</em> How did it go?” Perfuma demands into the phone, her voice crystal clear. Apparently she took it from Scorpia. Catra waits a moment as she listens to the telltale shuffling and audio change of being put on speaker.</p><p>“How do you think it went? I fucking <em>ran</em>. I never wanted to meet her,” Catra complains, petulant as she peels off a chip of the not-leather seat cover. Vinyl maybe? Perfuma makes an admonishing sound on the other end of the line while Scorpia lets out a sad <em>oh</em>.</p><p>“It was fine. She helped me find somewhere dark to curl up so I could work through the panic. Her name’s Adora. She <em>really</em> wants to be friends, but I got her to agree to leave me alone outside of my lunchbreak,” Catra tells them, squaring her shoulders despite how there is no one else in the parking lot to see her.</p><p>“<em>Catra</em>…” Perfuma breathes, disappointed in her, but she can get in <em>line</em>. People are always disappointed with Catra. Somewhere, Adora twinges, but Catra tells her to <em>fuck off</em>. The bond may be stronger now, but Catra can still block her out when she isn’t on the verge of a breakdown. Unfortunately, she doesn’t know if that stops Adora from sensing her or just cuts off her perception of Adora, but she hopes her soulmate <em>gets the message</em>.</p><p>“I don’t need a fucking lecture, okay? Soulmates aren’t some destined love bullshit and you would <em>know</em> that if you had one. It’s nice knowing who she is, but I don’t want to be friends with her,” Catra bites back. She can’t <em>hide</em> this from her friends, it would just feel wrong, but she knew before she picked up the phone what their opinions would be.</p><p>“You share a piece of her soul, Catra. How you feel about her is a reflection of how you feel about yourself,” Perfuma says, a poor attempt at <em>profound</em>. It has no effect on Catra. Sure, that is <em>one</em> explanation for soulmates, but another is that it is just a telepathic connection that causes them to develop in similar ways. There is no way to <em>prove</em> it one way or the other.</p><p>“Not interested and didn’t ask. Look, I just wanted to see if your meditation lesson offer can be cashed-in long distance. I am not up to driving home so soon after making that journey,” Catra tells her, flicking her piece of chipped seat cover off the cushion. It goes spinning through the air and then seems to <em>turn</em> as static electricity causes it to stick to the side of the console. Perfuma is silent as Catra reaches over and pulls the piece off, watching the fur on her arm stand up as it nears the field of built-up charge.</p><p>“Why do you want to begin meditating?” Perfuma asks her, voice faux-innocent. Catra scowls at the dash.</p><p>“So it’s easier to block her out of my head when I need to,” she replies. They both know she isn’t looking to better herself now she has met her soulmate or anything. Perfuma sighs, sounding dejected.</p><p>“Fine, we’ll do a video call, but I’m only agreeing to this because I’m hoping it help you reflect anyway. I think you should talk to her,” Perfuma agrees reluctantly. Catra shakes her hand and finds the speck of vinyl thoroughly clung to her fingertips. She scowls at her hand, at Perfuma, at Adora, at <em>life</em>.</p><p>“Noted and ignored,” she responds. She isn’t fucking talking to her.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Adora rides into town on Sunday. She has a <em>reason</em> to, even if she has secret hopes about the trip. She could easily take her pickup, but she prefers to ride when she isn’t going shopping. She does plan to buy <em>one</em> thing on the trip, but it will be easy to hang her shopping bag from the saddle on the way back, and her cargo won’t be delicate.</p><p>Adora eyes the buildings of town as she passes them. Catra is new to town and Adora has felt her stress about money enough times to know she didn’t buy a house. That leaves her only two open apartment buildings within city limits. She promised to give Catra room, so she resists riding past her two options. She is pretty sure working out where Catra lives without being told it would freak Catra out immensely, even if it is simple <em>logic</em> in a town this size. Adora frowns to herself as she hitches Swift Wind out front of the tack store.</p><p>Catra asked her about Hordak, but Adora didn’t ask about her mother. Weirdly, Adora is pretty sure it is one topic Catra would be comfortable telling her about. Adora probably already knows more than anyone else in her life ever could, so it wouldn’t be giving Adora any extra ammunition. It is a dark topic, one Adora wouldn’t bring up lightly, but Catra is used to the anonymity of the city.</p><p>Accidentally running into her once aside, Catra was largely safe there. If the woman found out the town where Catra lives now, it would be far too easy for her to find Catra’s apartment. Adora sighs as she heads into the store, resolving to ask Catra for the woman’s name and general description whenever it won’t ruin the moment. She doesn’t know if she is the type of person who would hunt Catra down just to make her more miserable, but she certainly seems like it.</p><p><em>Quit worrying</em>, Catra prods her mind. Adora smiles to herself as she vaguely waves at Kyle behind the counter and heads to the back of the store.</p><p><em>What’s your favourite colour,</em> she tries, not really sure what will go through. She is met with confusion, so either it got too distorted to make sense or it <em>did </em>come through and Catra doesn’t know why she would be asking. That is fair – Adora is purposefully trying to keep it from her, staring at the boot display and thinking about alligators while she waits for a reply.</p><p>She met a guy at a horse show once who had wrestled the gator for his gatorskin boots himself. Catra is still confused and wary. She is decidedly not answering Adora’s question. Okay, fine. It isn’t like Adora has a lot of options here anyway.</p><p><em>Carry on</em>. Catra is suspicious, but she is also <em>busy</em>, Adora realizes. With what, Adora doesn’t know, but she is willing to let Adora pick colours, even if she sends a general vibe of distrust her way before moving on. Adora turns back to the hat display at the back of the store.</p><p>“Hey, Kyle?” Adora calls over her shoulder, towards the front of the store. Her call is immediately met by a small crash, but Adora doesn’t even turn around. Kyle is always knocking over merchandise. After a few moments of commotion as he tries to right whatever display he knocked over, Kyle comes hurrying up to hover over her shoulder.</p><p>“Yes, Adora?” he questions, a little breathless. Adora rolls her eyes, but she just gestures to the hats in front of her.</p><p>“You know if any of these work for hybrids with ears? We’re working with a new magicat and she doesn’t have a hat,” Adora questions. Kyle pauses, thinking it over and <em>hm</em>ing as he does so. After a moment, he reaches over to pick up a hat with a particularly curved brim from near the side of the racks and inspects the tag.</p><p>“Yeah, just this line, I think. Appropriate for canidaes, so it should work for magicats. I would have her come in to make sure it doesn’t put pressure on her ears, though. The temples of the hat are curved in a widow’s peak to keep it arched off ears, but it’s down to personal fit. I could always order something specially for magicats if you’ve got the time,” he offers, flipping the hat around and putting it back on the hook as he gestures at the grand total of <em>two</em> hats in the line.</p><p>Thaymor is small, and it isn’t worth keeping a wide variety in stock that might never sell. Usually Adora eyes their small selection, figures her fit out from that, and then orders the colour and style she actually wants from the counter. She doesn’t think she can hide something from Catra for the week or two it would take to arrive though.</p><p>One hat is a brown shade with a wider band. The other is red with a thin white band. Adora frowns at it for a moment before she remembers <em>red</em>. If she got Catra a red hat, it would probably seem insensitive once someone else commented on the colour, even if she thinks the colour would look good on her. Adora picks up the brown hat, hefting it in her hand and spinning it around her fingers for a moment.</p><p>“This will do. If it doesn’t fit, I’ll bring it back next weekend,” Adora tells him, shrugging. Kyle nods, following her as he heads back to the counter.</p><p>“Catra, right? The new girl at the bank?” Kyle asks. Adora nods, placing the hat on the counter as she goes digging in her back pocket for her wallet.</p><p>“She’s doing Angella’s finances too, but we can’t have someone so green on the ranch. Thought it would be a fun welcoming present,” Adora tells him, shrugging as she pays. She and Kyle are friends, but they are friends in the way that Adora is friends with most people in town – she has known them in passing for seven years, and they know her as a horse racer or as the Bright Moon Stables groom turned manager.</p><p>Adora is lucky she reached town when she did. Mara had gotten her diagnosis the <em>morning</em> Adora made her way to the ranch. When Adora asked Angella if there was room on the ranch for her, Mara pulled Angella aside and, unbeknownst to Adora, confessed the stage of her cancer. Adora is grateful to this day that Angella agreed Mara could train a predecessor to take over for her.</p><p>Angella could have hired someone with far more experience than Adora, but she saw the advantage of having someone already trained in their operations. There was no transition period when Adora became the new stable manager. She already knew every detail, and the staff trusted her. The biggest change was going from sleeping on a daybed to moving into what was once Mara’s bedroom.</p><p>Adora was the last new addition to the ranch, though. Even if Catra is only working there part-time, new blood hasn’t come into their operation for several years. Kyle eyes her, clearly curious, but he also doesn’t have the balls to ask for information she hasn’t offered. Adora certainly isn’t telling him shit about Catra. Catra wouldn’t want her to.</p><p>“Rumour is she has a soulmate, by the way. Maybe Angella can offer her some advice,” Kyle tells her as he bags up her hat. Adora frowns, her brows drawing together. How the hell that rumour got out Adora doesn’t know, seeing as the only people who should know that haven’t left the ranch since they found out.</p><p>“Who says?” she asks, taking her bag from Kyle. Kyle waves vaguely out the window.</p><p>“Mrs. Waverly. You know she can’t keep her mouth shut,” Kyle tells her. Well, that solves the mystery of which apartment building Catra is at. Mrs. Waverly runs the one closest to the ranch. Adora thanks him – for the purchases and the gossip – and heads out to return to Swift Wind. She is probably going to have to talk to Catra about that rumour – make sure she is aware of it, get her read on it, and find out how <em>Adora</em> is supposed to react when she hears it.</p><p>That isn’t a conversation they can have over their bond, though. Adora resolves to talk to Catra on Tuesday when she next comes by.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Catra drives to the ranch on Tuesday trying not to be nervous. Adora woke up <em>excited</em>, but she seems to have sensed Catra’s trepidation and is trying to keep herself calm. Whether that is for Catra’s benefit or to temper her own expectations, Catra doesn’t know, but it helps her a bit as she drives into the ranch – at least it does until she pulls into the parking lot and realizes Adora is waiting for her on the office porch.</p><p>“I agreed to be in the same room as you during lunch,” Catra tells Adora, scowling as she climbs the porch steps. She did not agree to talk to her, and she certainly didn’t agree to <em>before work meetings</em>. Adora sends her an apologetic look, but she pats the seat beside her. Catra pointedly crosses her arms and leans against one of the porch posts, several feet away.</p><p>“This is actually important. It will only take a few minutes,” Adora tells her. Catra’s tail, flicking back and forth with irritation, falls still as she scrutinizes Adora. Adora is apologetic. She doesn’t want to start Catra’s day with a downer. She is worried about stressing her too. It certainly doesn’t make Catra want to have whatever conversation this is <em>more</em>, but it at least convinces her it is important enough to have.</p><p>With a sigh, she pushes off the post and cautiously moves to sit beside Adora, studiously staring out at the parking lot as she does so and ignoring the way Adora perks up. They aren’t even <em>touching</em>, several inches still between them, but it excites Adora. She wants to reach across the gap, but she doesn’t dare. Catra gives a low growl in warning and Adora settles down a little, accepting that the gap is going to <em>be</em> there.</p><p>“I picked up some gossip when I was in town this weekend. Mrs. Waverly told people you have a soulmate,” Adora tells her. Catra stills, feeling her fur bristle in response. What the <em>fuck</em>. In the city you could tell a stranger you have a headache from your soulmate and they would never bother telling anyone. It didn’t matter, you were just another face in the crowd.</p><p>“No one can know it’s you,” Catra tells her, looking over to send Adora a look she <em>knows</em> is pleading, but she doesn’t care. She can’t have strangers knowing exactly how they can get to her. Adora immediately nods, her expression nothing but understanding. She knew Catra was going to say that.</p><p>“It’s really easy to find things out in this town. I know you probably don’t want to talk about it-“ Catra draws in a breath as she picks up Adora’s intended subject. Adora goes silent for a moment, just watching as Catra ears fall at the mention of <em>her</em>. “I just wanted to know her name and what she looks like. In case she somehow shows up,” Adora finishes, her voice gentle.</p><p>Weaver shouldn’t be <em>looking</em>, but it would be far too easy for her to find Catra. Catra sighs, reaching a hand up to run through her hair. Fuck her landlady, honestly. She is definitely moving apartments when her lease is up. What kind of person goes shouting their tenant’s business around town? With a sigh, Catra looks up to make eye contact with Adora again.</p><p>“Shadow Weaver. Grey drow with long black hair and-“ Catra cuts off, wincing. Adora <em>felt it</em>. Every punishment Catra ever went through, she made Adora experience too. Weaver preferred words and withholding food since neither left marks that someone else might see and report her for, but she was never <em>above</em> physical punishment. The only reason she had to withhold it was possible discovery</p><p>“And claw scars over her face, yeah. Okay. Mine’s a drow too. Blue-white morph,” Adora tells her. Catra turns her face away, not up for commenting on the coincidence of the second half of Adora’s statement in the face of the memories spawned by the first half. Catra was pushed to her limit – she thought. The retribution for lashing out had been far worse than the initial instigation, and she made Adora feel it <em>all</em>.</p><p>“Hey, don’t think like that. You shouldn’t have gone through it at all. It isn’t your fault she hurt you,” Adora says, softly. Catra flinches, but she doesn’t look up.</p><p>“I don’t want to talk about this,” she says, quietly. It really is the <em>worst</em> conversation to have before work. At least Catra left early to give herself time to get lost again. Adora shifts, turning a little to face her. Catra picks up her intent a moment before she opens her mouth, her ears immediately pinning back. It makes Adora flinch, but she forges on ahead.</p><p>“Do you want a hug? You’ve gone over a <em>week</em> now without one,” Adora promises her. Catra swallows, turning her face away. No, she doesn’t. She doesn’t want her soulmate to look at her, much less touch her. Yes, Catra hasn’t gotten a hug since moving out here, but for <em>some</em> people that isn’t a big deal. Just because Adora is so touchy and gets hugs often now doesn’t mean Catra wants that.</p><p>Except that is a lie and they both know it. When Catra was having a particularly rough day, Adora used to hug herself so Catra could feel arms wrapped around her through the bond. It was vague and nothing like the real thing, but it was one of the small comforts that got Catra through her childhood.</p><p>Catra is always cagey about contact, but she would be able to pick up Adora’s intent before she could actually hurt her. She lets out a shaking breath and says nothing. Adora feels her resolve regardless. Catra <em>can’t</em> admit it out loud, it is bad enough in her head, but waiting a moment to ensure Catra isn’t changing her mind, Adora cautiously shifts closer and places her hands on Catra, pulling her in slowly until Catra’s face is buried in her neck, her arms wrapped around Adora’s shoulders.</p><p>Catra could shake with relief. It feels so <em>good</em>, safe in a way contact almost never does. She didn’t expect her body to go limp, curling into Adora’s arms without ever intending it, but warmth is spreading through the both of them and Catra <em>wants</em> it. Adora is a solid presence beneath her. Her body is firm with muscle from all the farm work, but her skin is soft as Catra catches herself nuzzling into it. She flushes, but she doesn’t pull away.</p><p>This could very well be the best hug she has ever had. Adora is overwhelmed by that thought, clinging to her tighter, but the movement doesn’t panic Catra like it usually does when Scorpia does it. She knew it was coming, and all Adora wants is to keep giving her that relief, to give her <em>more</em> of it.</p><p>Catra is purring. <em>Shit</em>. Adora lets out a soft gasp and Catra flings herself back out of Adora’s arms with her cheeks blazing. She scrambles back to the far end of the bench, feeling the dopamine die out along with the stuttering rumble in her chest. Adora is staring at her, overwhelmed from her own affection for Catra. She wants to hug again, but fat fucking <em>chance</em>. That was a moment of utter weakness and Catra is not allowing a repeat.</p><p>“Do you need anything else, or can I get to work?” Catra demands, her voice as snappy as she can make it, but it doesn’t even put a dent in Adora’s well of emotions. Adora just shakes her head, but she is smiling a little.</p><p>“I’ll see you at lunch,” she tells her, finally standing from the bench and giving Catra a goodbye wave before she descends down the porch steps. Catra doesn’t return it, just watching Adora as she crosses the parking lot and climbs into a blueish-grey pickup. At least she knows what Adora drives now so she can prepare herself if she spots it in the parking lot.</p><p>Catra takes a moment to compose herself before standing and heading into the ranch office. Angella is in her office with the doors open, calling a cheerful hello to Catra as she walks in. Glimmer is also at her desk, but she has an almost bemused expression on her face. Catra feels her brow draw together, confused, but she sends Glimmer a cautious greeting as she makes her way to her own desk and draws to a <em>halt</em>.</p><p>There is a round box on her desk. Catra blinks down at it before looking up at Glimmer. Glimmer presses her lips together, clearly trying to hold back a smile or a laugh, and shakes her head.</p><p>“It was there when I got in this morning. Adora was hanging around the porch, too,” Glimmer tells her. Catra feels herself blush, not sure how to respond to the mention of her soulmate. She always kept it a secret – she isn’t used to having to respond to people talking about her <em>other half</em>. At least she can be assured that no one in the office overheard their conversation on the porch. If she knew Catra had seen Adora, she wouldn’t feel the need to mention her presence.</p><p>Adora is eager in the back of her mind, reaching out to gauge her reaction. Reluctantly, Catra lifts the lid off the box and blinks down at the contents. It is a hat – which makes sense, given that this is definitely a hat box. Catra hasn’t seen a hat like this since she watched a hybrid-centric western back in <em>college</em>. It is a cowboy hat, but in the tricorn-like design meant to accommodate hybrids.</p><p>Catra doesn’t wear hats as a rule, given the <em>ears</em> thing. Sure, there are plenty of specialized hats designed to accommodate hybrids – like this one - but she doesn’t like feeling her ears restricted. Catra picks up the hat, scrutinizing it for a minute as Glimmer makes a soft sound from her desk. Catra glances her way, finding Glimmer looking both amused and surprised.</p><p>“These things aren’t cheap, are they?” Catra asks as she flips it in her hands to hold it by the crownpiece. Glimmer nods, eyeing it as Catra twitches her ears down and puts the hat on. It has <em>weight</em> to it. This isn’t a cheap, straw kids’ toy. It is surprisingly comfortable. Experimentally, she twitches her ears, but they aren’t very restricted by the hat. It is certainly <em>odd</em> to feel her ears brushing up against something, but so was the presence of the piercings at first.</p><p>It definitely isn’t her style, but no cowboy hat is going to be. Adora is just pleased that she isn’t outright rejecting it. Catra snorts, taking the hat off and putting it back in the box. She isn’t going to start dressing like a cowboy, but she knows that wasn’t Adora’s intention. She wanted to give Catra a little piece of her world. Whatever. Catra isn’t planning to wear it, but it might be worth keeping around for days that are too sunny. She had been damn-near blinded when she left Adora’s house last week.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Catra doesn’t <em>like </em>like the hat, but she accepted it, and Adora is downright ecstatic about that. Catra picked up her intent and she found it <em>sweet</em>, even though she tried to hide that from Adora. Adora spends the rest of her day bouncing just a little with every step. She is humming to herself the entire drive up to the ranch office for lunch, even if Catra is wary of her approach.</p><p>When Adora enters the office, Bow has already made his way to the meeting table. Glimmer holds up one hand, indicating to give her five more minutes without looking away from her computer. Catra is eating at her desk, studiously ignoring Adora, but Adora is pretty sure she has pushed Catra as far as they can go in a day already. She isn’t planning to try for more. The hat is hung up on one of the coat hooks on the wall behind Catra’s desk.</p><p>Adora gives Catra a few minutes to get used to her presence, fetching her lunch from the fridge and settling at the meeting table to joke with Bow as they eat. Bow glances between her and Catra a few times, but Adora <em>knows what she is doing</em> and doesn’t acknowledge the looks. She is going to have lunch with Bow and Glimmer, and she is going to give Catra the room she wants.</p><p>On the other side of the room, Catra sighs loud enough for Adora to hear as she mentally <em>gives up</em>. Catra stands from her desk, picking up her lunch and crossing the room to sit at the table with them, narrowing her eyes at Adora as she pointedly settles as far from Adora as she can at the table, which isn’t far given it is <em>round</em>. It leaves them facing each other.</p><p>“It doesn’t count as leaving me alone if I can feel how you are pressed up against the gate trying to hold yourself back,” Catra tells her as she picks up her fork and begins eating again. Bow snorts and shoots Adora a look that Adora <em>ignores</em>, because she knows she is eager like that.</p><p>“It counts as making an effort. Will you tell me your favourite colour now? There weren’t a lot of options, but I thought the brown would go well with your fur,” Adora tells her. Catra pauses, blinking and then looking up to Adora. Adora bites her lip and shrugs a little. Catra definitely picked up the mental question of <em>can you see that</em>. Catra glances over to the hat on the wall before looking at Adora again and <em>blushing</em>, surprised by the consideration. That kind of makes Adora sad. She <em>shouldn’t</em> be. She should be used to people accommodating her. Catra ducks her head, taking another bite as if she can hide in her lunch.</p><p>“It’s blue,” she mutters. Adora perks up a little. Catra immediately shoots her a look meant to cow her, but <em>good luck with that</em>. “A blue hat would look stupid. The brown is fine,” she tells her. Adora just grins across at her. They’re talking, and Catra accepted her gift, and Catra thinks she is <em>sweet</em>. Nothing could ruin Adora’s mood today.</p><p>“Noted,” she returns. Catra narrows her eyes at Adora for a moment before pointedly turning back to her food, putting up a mental wall. There is fear sparking in her chest that she gave Adora too much. Adora really needs to not push her luck further. She gives herself a moment to just observe Catra, taking in her sharp features and the way her ears shift in minute circles as she chews her food. She is <em>adorable</em>, but she needs her space.</p><p>Adora turns to Bow and asks him how the Garnets’ horses are doing. He was over there this morning since they called about needing a farrier last night. The change of topic helps Catra to relax. She stays at the table all through lunch, even after Glimmer joins them and she finishes her own food. Adora doesn’t try to talk to her again and Catra doesn’t so much as look at her, but she allows her to <em>be</em> there, and it is enough for Adora.</p><p>It is progress, at least. It is more than Adora was even expecting after the first day. At this rate, she might tame Catra before she gets the barn stray to let her hold them.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Spoiler alert: she won’t.<br/><a href="https://n7punk.tumblr.com/post/645137713495965697/htw-ref-1-hybrid-cowboy-hat-the-hat-featured-in">Catra's hat.</a><br/>A blue hen is just a mare who has a lot of great foals (champions, etc).</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Panic (attack)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey I promise everything is fine and that will be clear in the moment but<br/>CW: Implied/referenced mentions of suicide. Also prescription drug use, but as directed.<br/>If the CW concerns you, please check the extended (with spoilers) <a href="https://n7punk.tumblr.com/post/645419364067229696/there-is-a-significant-cw-at-the-beginning-of">CW over on my tumblr</a> so you can make a more informed call on whether this chapter is okay for you. I will try to keep addressing these topics isolated to this chapter and provide further warnings if they do come up again.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Adora goes about her day on Wednesday feeling better than she has in a week. At lunch she spotted that Catra has left her hat on the coat hook behind her desk. Sure, she didn’t take it home, but it wouldn’t be useful there. Adora has ambitions, alright, and she is going to take Catra for a ride someday. If Catra took it home, Adora is pretty sure she would shove it in a closet and forget about it. Having it right beside her desk is like she has a piece of Adora with her while she is working.</p><p>Well, a piece of Adora other than the part of her soul she is carrying around at all times. Catra has always accepted her soul. Adora couldn’t tell if she was just projecting when she thought Catra was willing to accept more than she said, but she had to try regardless. She wants Catra in her life every way she is willing to have her, but the last thing she wants to do is to drive her away.</p><p>She told herself it didn’t hurt when Catra ran from her. At the time, she had bigger issues than her own feelings. She just needed to make sure her soulmate was okay. In the aftermath, though, Adora can’t deny she is a little heartbroken. She never expected Catra to just fall into her arms when they met, she knows her too well for that, but she had hoped that Catra would want to <em>try</em>.</p><p>It brings up the question of where their Wednesday night alone time stands. It has always felt incredibly intimate, which seems like the exact thing Catra will want to avoid now. Adora returns to her house after sunset on Wednesday night not really sure what her plans for the evening are. She eats dinner, but part of her feels like she is <em>waiting</em>.</p><p>It is past the time they usually lay down together, but Catra hasn’t reached out to her, mostly quiet on the other end of the bond. She isn’t experiencing any heightened emotions, but that doesn’t give Adora much to go on. Adora decides on a shower, partially to kill time and partially because she doesn’t really want to get in her bed without one. Afterwards, she falls into bed naked, her damp hair splaying out on the pillow.</p><p>Catra is still silent. Adora stares up at the ceiling, chewing on the inside of her cheek and shifting her hips a little as she thinks about her options. This definitely feels like <em>pushing</em> Catra. It is one thing for Catra to get herself off when Adora is riding because of the transfer-adrenaline. It is another entirely for them to touch themselves together, both thinking of the other – at least Adora <em>hopes</em>. That is what it always felt like for her at least.</p><p>She could just- start. She hasn’t gotten off in a week and she could use the relaxation. She is so grateful that Catra is here now, but her reluctance to even speak has been stressful, and Adora has always been wound tight anyway. Tiptoeing around Catra so she doesn’t ruin any chance they have together is necessary, but it isn’t <em>easy</em>.</p><p>Adora sighs, giving up and reaching out to prod at Catra. She gets a wall of resistance back. Adora recoils mentally, her heart thudding heavily in her chest. Given the time of day, Catra definitely knows her intentions, and that was a resounding <em>no</em>. Swallowing, Adora turns over in her bed, pulling her hands away from her hips and tucking them beneath her pillow instead.</p><p>She should have known better than to try this. Catra told her she doesn’t even want to be <em>friends</em> and yet Adora pushed for something sexual. All she can do now is pray that she didn’t ruin all the progress they’ve made so far. She won’t even know how big of a blunder that was until tomorrow. Her heart is racing, her mind already running through all the possible scenarios of how Catra will react to Adora disrespecting her boundaries.</p><p><em>Don’t panic</em>, she tries to tell herself when she feels her chest tighten in response to her spiraling thoughts. A moment later, the thought is echoed. Catra can feel her worry and is trying to calm her like they have always done for each other. It shouldn’t make Adora panic worse, but it does. She already made Catra uncomfortable, and now she is making Catra calm her too instead of giving her the space she clearly needs.</p><p>Catra is doing her best to push calm into Adora’s mind, but her panic is causing anxiety within Catra as well. Adora’s breath is coming shallow now. She can’t do this to Catra. She wants so much from her soulmate, but she can’t take hurting her. She is being too much in <em>every way</em> right now. Catra was <em>fine</em>, calm and silent on the other end of the bond until Adora ruined it. It is so rare for Catra to be calm like that.</p><p>Adora sits up in bed, moving too fast and causing her head to spin, but she knows what she has to do. She has a plan for times like this. She stumbles a bit as she makes her way to the kitchen, but that is expected given how her breaths are coming shallow. She makes it to the kitchen and opens the overheard cabinet, snatching out her medication.</p><p>She <em>tries</em> to shake one pill out, but her hands are shaking a bit and she ends up with two. It will have to do. She is allowed to take two if she needs it, even if she <em>hasn’t</em> before. It is difficult for her to take pills dry, but she doesn’t trust herself to not knock over a glass of water right now. She forces herself to choke them down and tries to imagine the tranquilizers dissolving in her bloodstream, calming her body down.</p><p>It takes far too long. Catra’s panic only grows in the time it takes to kick in. Adora tries to block her out, walling herself off so her panic won’t affect Catra. After several minutes, the pills begin to work. Adora manages to slow her breathing down until she starts to feel like she has caught her breath again. Cautiously, she reaches back out.</p><p>On the other end of the bond, Catra is still panicking - even <em>worse</em> now, progressed to a full-blown panic attack. Adora swallows, pushing off the counter to make her way back to the bedroom as she tries to think of what she can do to help. She keeps trying to push <em>it’s okay now, it’s going to be okay</em> Catra’s way, talking her down, but it doesn’t help - probably because she is the one who <em>caused</em> this panic attack, and now she is forcing Catra to think of her.</p><p>Okay, new plan. The meds didn’t help Catra, but Adora’s limbs are already starting to feel heavy from the medication. She started this, maybe removing herself from the equation by letting the drugs pull her into sleep will allow Catra to calm down. Adora certainly isn’t helping her right now. She can only hope this works and doesn’t leave Catra <em>more</em> adrift. She fumbles through getting dressed in her pajamas as she tries to push assurances Catra’s way.</p><p><em>It’s okay. I’m sorry</em>. She can feel her mind starting to go hazy from the medication, quicker than usual, but she also took double her dose. She got the prescription explicitly because she felt bad about making Catra deal with her panic attacks. Adora is usually able to maintain some semblance of control while Catra has hers, but when Adora has them, it triggers an attack in Catra that is just as bad.</p><p>Adora drove over to the next town so she could see a doctor without anyone knowing. She knows she shouldn’t be ashamed about needing the help to not be a burden on her soulmate, but how can she <em>not be</em>? She takes a pill when she feels a true panic attack starting – if she can, anyway, she doesn’t carry them around with her – and they usually help her body to calm down, even if she feels sluggish afterwards.</p><p>Through the bond, Catra is worried and trying to check in on her. Adora just tries to send Catra assurances. <em>You don’t have to worry</em>, she promises as she lays down in her bed. Her head hurts and her mouth is dry from all the gasping, but she can’t make herself get up again to get a drink of water. She needs to go to sleep, for Catra’s sake and her own. Hopefully once Adora is no longer pressing in on her mind, Catra will be able to calm down and she won’t be upset with Adora tomorrow.</p><p>Even as Adora drifts off to a drug-assisted sleep, she feels guilty for how Catra is reaching for her, still concerned despite how Adora is clearly <em>fine</em> now.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>All Catra gets is panic and guilt and <em>taking pills </em>before she feels Adora drifting away. Catra fucking <em>panics</em>. She tries to reach out and what she gets back is that Adora doesn’t want to be a burden, and then the connection fizzles out in a way it never has before, but especially not after a <em>panic attack</em>.</p><p>Catra bolts up from where she was trying to meditate on her living room floor, grabbing her phone and her keys. All she can feel is <em>fear</em>. Adora isn’t there anymore, she took pills, and she was unresponsive as she passed out. Catra only knows one way to interpret that, even though she hasn’t thought Adora was in that kind of place since she got out at eighteen.</p><p>There used to be a time when Catra was <em>worried</em> for Adora. She always thought she would feel Adora’s intent long before she could hurt herself, but she was purposefully trying to block everything out, including Adora. She didn’t realize she was panicking until the attack had already started. She doesn’t know what Adora could have thought in those moments without Catra sensing it.</p><p>She doesn’t have Adora’s number, and if Catra’s panic couldn’t rouse her, she doubts a ringtone would. She <em>does</em> have Glimmer’s number though, and she is closer to Adora than Catra is right now. As she bolts for the car, she pulls up her contact list. Glimmer picks up on the fourth ring.</p><p>“Catra-” Glimmer starts to question, and there is more to that sentence definitely, but Catra doesn’t <em>give a shit</em>.</p><p>“Get to Adora’s house<em>, now,</em>” Catra orders, barking into her phone as she flings herself into her driver’s seat and turns on the car.</p><p>“What-“</p><p>“She passed out. I think she- she- Her thoughts got dark. She took pills. Just- <em>help her</em>. I’m on my way,” Catra orders down the line. Glimmer draws in a sharp breath of air, and then the line goes dead. Catra peels out of the parking lot with her heart pounding.</p><p>She can’t lose Adora.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Adora wakes up to Glimmer <em>shaking</em> her. She tries to bat the hands away, confused, and is shocked when Glimmer starts <em>crying</em>. Adora manages to blink her eyes open despite how her eyelids feel heavy. She is greeted with Glimmer leaned over her, hands on her shoulders and tears in her eyes.</p><p>“Fuck, Adora, what did you do?” Glimmer demands, her voice shrill with panic. Adora wrinkles her brow. She doesn’t think she did anything wrong – other than worry Catra, but-</p><p>Catra is at nuclear levels of panic. Adora draws in a breath, blinking up at Glimmer as she tries to clear the cobwebs from her mind. She feels a flood of relief from Catra now she is awake. Catra is crying, shaking with relief as she draws in laboured breaths. Her arms are shaking with tension as she grips something.</p><p>Adora’s guilt immediately comes flooding back. Going to sleep made it <em>worse</em>. She cut off Catra’s anchor point, leaving her adrift without anyone there for her – panicking her bad enough she apparently called Glimmer to wake Adora up. That kind of weakness had to have taken a monumental level of panic.</p><p>“I’m awake. I’m sorry,” Adora manages to mumble. Glimmer blinks down at her, tears still in her eyes. Adora doesn’t know why Glimmer is so <em>upset</em>.</p><p>“Adora, how much did you take?” Glimmer demands. Adora feels her brow wrinkle, eyes casting around the room. Glimmer can’t know about her pills, so how did-</p><p>“The pills on the counter, Adora. How much did you take?” Glimmer demands again, shaking her shoulders again. Right. Glimmer had to pass by the kitchen to get to her bedroom. Adora feels herself shrink back a little, guilt building even higher.</p><p>“Just two. I don’t do it often, okay? Just when it’s having too much of an effect on Catra,” Adora admits, her voice a bit hoarse. She coughs, trying to sit up. Glimmer is still holding her shoulders, her brow pinching together as she pulls on Adora’s shoulders to help her sit up. Adora scoots back, leaning against the head of the bed and trying to take a few steadying breaths as she pushes calm towards Catra.</p><p>Catra is <em>not fucking calm</em>. Adora has fucked up so badly. She closes her eyes, trying to focus on darkness and peace, but Glimmer shakes her shoulders again. Adora blinks her eyes open again, surprised. She sends Glimmer a look of confusion, but Glimmer seems just as confused as she is.</p><p>“Adora. Do you have a prescription?” she asks, her voice a demand. Adora’s brow wrinkles. Yes, she hid the pills from Glimmer, but how else would she have gotten them? It isn’t like Glimmer tells her what meds she takes for her ADHD, Adora has just been there when she realized she had forgotten to take them a few times. She doesn’t think it is so weird she hasn’t told Glimmer about them that they must be <em>illegal</em>.</p><p>“Yes? One or two pills for anxiety or sleep. I got it years ago,” Adora tells her, confused and a bit embarrassed. She knows Glimmer won’t judge her, but she judges herself enough for the both of them. Right now, Glimmer is distracting her from calming down Catra. Adora closes her eyes again, reaching for Catra again-</p><p>She is interrupted by the sound of a phone ringing. She blinks her eyes open to find Glimmer taking steadying breaths before she answers the call.</p><p>“She’s okay. It was a prescription. Tranquilizers or something. She just took two and went to sleep,” Glimmer says, though her voice sounds <em>rough</em>. Relief pours through Catra, hitting Adora like a bucket of ice water. Over the speaker, she can hear Catra gasping a little.</p><p>Oh. <em>Fuck</em>.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Catra tells Glimmer she is fifteen minutes away and to stay with Adora until she gets there. Glimmer tells her she isn’t leaving. Catra has to hang up, she is far too rattled to talk and drive, but she is able to <em>breathe</em> again. Adora’s guilt is almost overwhelming, but Catra just keeps pushing <em>it’s alright</em> to her.</p><p>She just needs to see Adora. To make sure she is really okay and find out what <em>happened</em>. She didn’t think Adora was suicidal, but every sign she had given Catra tonight was <em>bad</em>. Catra drives to the ranch with her hands white knuckled on the steering wheel, going at nothing approaching the speed limit. Glimmer’s jeep is parked haphazardly outside Adora’s house, still running. Catra hurries up the porch steps and inside the front door that Glimmer left open. As she approaches the bedroom, she hears the soft murmur of Glimmer’s voice.</p><p>“-it’s not something you have to <em>hide</em>,” Glimmer says, tone gentle but frustrated. She cuts off when Catra pushes the bedroom door open all the way. Adora is sat up in bed, a little hunched over with her guilt, though she looks up right away when Catra enters the room. Her expression is apologetic and pleading.</p><p>“Hush,” Catra orders her before she can begin to apologize, sweeping across the room and crawling into the massive king bed without hesitation. Adora’s eyes go wide as Catra settles in her lap and wraps her arms around her shoulders, pulling her in against her chest. Adora’s breath stutters as Catra tucks her face down, breathing her in. “It’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong, Adora,” Catra promises her, because the guilt has been <em>choking</em>.</p><p>Adora’s next breath is wet as she raises her arms to wrap around Catra, clutching her back. Catra sags a little, relieved the touch is helping her overwhelmed soulmate. Adora feels like <em>shit</em>, tired and drained and hoarse, but she is also getting relief from holding Catra. Catra nuzzles her for a moment before turning her face out to find Glimmer, leaning against the wall of the bedroom and seeming unsure.</p><p>“Can you get her water?” she asks. Adora opens her mouth, about to protest despite how dry her mouth is, but Catra silences her with a swat of her tail. Glimmer just nods, pushing off the wall and heading out to the kitchen. Catra focuses back in on Adora, closing her eyes and nuzzling her hair, breathing in the scent of coconut from her shampoo. Beneath that is just Adora’s scent, elevated from the hormones, but familiar and calming.</p><p>Adora seems to have finally realized Catra isn’t <em>upset</em>. She releases a soft sound as she squeezes Catra a bit closer, overwhelmed by the affection but also not wanting it to end. It isn’t going to. When Glimmer returns to the bedroom, Catra pulls back just enough to take the glass from her, cradling the back of Adora’s head with one hand and encouraging her to drink the water. Adora is kind of overwhelmed by the care, but she can <em>deal with it</em>. Catra was fucking scared.</p><p>“You can go home now. I’ll take care of her,” Catra tells Glimmer, quietly, as she feels the soothing effect the cold water has on Adora spreading through her own body. Glimmer opens her mouth, seeming about to protest, and Catra sends her a flat look. “I’ll call you if I need help. I’ve been taking care of her longer than you’ve known her,” she tells her. Glimmer doesn’t seem <em>happy</em> about that. She looks to Adora. Adora blinks at her, vision a bit hazy. The exhaustion in her body is heavy. Those pills are serious.</p><p>“I’m okay. I’m sorry for worrying you,” Adora mumbles out. Glimmer only looks half convinced, but she nods and looks back to Catra.</p><p>“Even if it’s just another glass of water, call me. She’s like a sister to me,” Glimmer tells her. Catra just nods. She watches Glimmer go, her ears twitching as Glimmer closes the bedroom door. A few seconds later, the front door closes as well. It isn’t locked, but Catra isn’t leaving Adora’s side yet to deal with it.</p><p>She turns back to Adora. Adora is looking up at her sheepishly again. Catra rolls her eyes, shifting off Adora so she can encourage her to lay back now she has had her water. Adora follows her directions, blinking sleepily at her, though there is a bright curiosity in her eyes as she watches Catra, waiting to see her next move.</p><p>Her next move is lifting the covers and tucking herself beneath them so she can curl her arms and legs around Adora, holding onto her in every way she can as she tucks her nose into her pulse point and breathes her in.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>For a while, they both just cuddle. Catra is comforting herself that Adora is really okay, if exhausted. Adora is working on accepting that Catra <em>isn’t</em> mad at her. It isn’t easy, even if it is <em>obvious</em>. Every time Adora begins to feel guilty again, it upsets Catra. Adora tries to kill the thoughts if only so she won’t upset Catra again today after she put her through one of her worst fears. Adora was the only person who was always there for her, and when they were younger Catra used to worry about losing Adora a lot.</p><p>She had good reason to. Adora was far from happy and she was burning herself to the ground trying to meet Hordak’s expectations. Adora didn’t get enough to eat, never rested, and got sick often as a result. She only started turning things around because she realized how shitty she was making Catra feel by extension. Now she tries to get enough sleep every night and take care of herself, even if her line of work forces her to wake up far earlier than Catra would like.</p><p>“Can you tell me what actually happened?” Catra asks, softly. She is wrapped tightly around Adora, clinging to her. It makes Adora’s heart warm as much as it makes the guilt want to return. For a week now Catra has hardly wanted to touch her. She had to have <em>terrified</em> Catra for her to be doing this now.</p><p>Catra hisses against her neck, picking up the guilt again. Adora tightens her arms around Catra’s back, trying to focus on the fact that Catra is here and <em>enjoying</em> the embrace rather than what caused it.</p><p>“I reached out and you were- withdrawn. I panicked about making you uncomfortable, and when I realized that was making <em>you</em> panic, I took two of my pills,” Adora explains, her words a little rough, but at least her throat isn’t dry anymore. She is grateful for the water, even if she tried to reject it as first.</p><p>“The pills?” Catra prompts, softly. She still has her face buried in Adora’s neck. Her peach fuzz is soft and ticklish against Adora’s skin. Adora swallows. Here comes the hard part to admit. She already had this conversation with Glimmer as Catra drove over. Once they had established that yes, Adora really did have a prescription and was using it as intended, Glimmer asked her why she had been hiding it.</p><p>“I couldn’t admit I needed the help. And I didn’t want to make you guys second-guess my ability to manage the stable,” Adora confessed. She hated admitting that she tricked them, but she always would have made sure that the stable came first. That is why she got the medication – so she could put first what mattered. Glimmer had been kind of aghast, launching into a lecture about how people need help sometimes and that’s <em>okay</em>.</p><p>Adora clears her throat, trying to figure out how to word it so she doesn’t get the same lecture twice in one night.</p><p>“They’re tranquilizers, basically. I got them years ago to help with the panic attacks or to take after a nightmare. I didn’t like it when my bullshit affected you,” Adora tries. Against her chest, Catra stills, her heart dropping. Nope, that wasn’t better. Adora has to force herself to let Catra go as she pulls back to brace herself above Adora, staring down at her with a slightly-heartbroken expression.</p><p>“<em>Adora</em>. How many times have you sat with me through a panic attack?” she asks. Adora huffs, rolling her eyes and opening her mouth- “It’s <em>not different</em>. Just because it’s you? It’s the same principle. I fucking <em>care</em> about you, Adora. Let me take care of you if only so I don’t feel <em>pathetic</em> for clinging to you,” Catra demands.</p><p>“You aren’t-“ Adora starts to argue, but she cuts off when Catra <em>snarls</em> at her. Adora blinks up at her, a bit shocked. She isn’t afraid - she knows it isn’t a threat, or at least not a serious one – but it still surprises her. Both of their hearts are beating fast. Catra feels raw on the other end of their bond, not used to this kind of honesty.</p><p>“Anything you say about me goes for you too. Just let me return the favour, okay? I didn’t know what was happening. I thought you OD’d to avoid <em>bothering</em> me, and it turns out that is exactly what you were doing, minus the overdose,” Catra tells her, tone <em>vicious</em>, but Adora can feel that it is just to cut the emotionality of the statement so she can force herself to get it out.</p><p>Adora swallows, blinking up at Catra. Slowly, her expression softens. The snarl falls, her shoulders lower from their hunch, and in its place is just sadness. Adora’s heart is still beating too hard – so is Catra’s. All Adora can think is that she loves her and she doesn’t want to hurt her.</p><p>“I know. But hiding things from me hurts too,” Catra breathes, quietly, her expression still sad. Adora takes a deep breath and nods. She doesn’t want to hurt Catra – if sharing the burden is how she does that, then she can make herself do it. Catra lets out a shaking sigh of relief, dropping back down to Adora’s chest and clinging to her again.</p><p>“If you want to take the pills for yourself, do it. That’s what prescriptions are for. But don’t you dare take another one of those because of me,” Catra tells, quietly, though she sounds too drained now to be stern. Adora just nods. She kind of hates the pills. They always leave her tired, though not usually <em>exhausted</em> like she is now.</p><p>They used to be necessary. It has been years since her panic attacks or nightmares were that bad though, and she rarely takes them now. If she can go without them, she would prefer to. She is too tired to really work out her complicated relationship with her prescription right now. It is getting late for her as-is, and now all the panic and adrenaline has faded, she can hardly keep her eyes open.</p><p>“The front door is unlocked,” Catra mumbles against her chest. Adora’s eyes are drifting closed, but she still manages to draw her brows together in confusion at that statement. She figures it out after a moment of prodding, though. Catra is anxious about leaving the front door unlocked overnight.</p><p>Catra is planning to <em>stay the night</em>, holy shit. Catra releases a soft rumble against her chest as she picks up Adora’s realization.</p><p>“I’m not fit to drive. And I don’t want to go yet. Be <em>normal</em> about it, Adora,” Catra tells her, though she sounds amused as she nuzzles a little into Adora’s neck. Adora is decidedly <em>not capable</em> of being normal about this. She forces herself to merely tighten her arms around Catra’s back instead of – she doesn’t know, flipping them and pinning Catra into the mattress, <em>something</em>.</p><p>“Most people don’t really lock their doors in Thaymor,” Adora tells her. Catra is <em>aghast</em> at that notion, which makes Adora chuckle weakly. “I usually lock it, but I promise it will be fine,” she assures around a yawn, because she really doesn’t want Catra to leave, and she is a little afraid she might if she gets up.</p><p>“Fine. But lock your fucking door, Adora,” Catra tells her, nuzzling in again as she settles down. There is a beat of silence as Adora begins to drift off, warm and content with Catra in her arms. “I’m pretty sure I didn’t lock my apartment either,” Catra mumbles, seemingly realizing it as she says it.</p><p>“It’ll be fine,” Adora promises her in a mumble. It really will.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Catra wakes to bright sun streaming through curtains and a fucking <em>rooster crowing</em>. Groaning, she curls into the warmth of Adora’s body. Adora chuckles, and a moment later there is a hand petting through her hair. Catra purrs, accepting the gesture to make up for the early wake up call. She has only been pet a few times, but she kind of loves it.</p><p>Adora is bursting with far too much affection for the time of day. Catra didn’t fall asleep for another hour after Adora did, needing more time to calm down and assure herself that yes, Adora really was just sleeping. Maybe she got in a half dozen scent marks while Adora was unconscious, so <em>sue</em> her. She curls in closer around Adora, clinging to her soulmate with all of her limbs.</p><p>Adora is warm, and comfortable, and <em>safe</em>. Catra likes cuddling with her, and she isn’t particularly inclined to stop. She has never been able to do something like this before. Even with Scorpia, the closest she got was hugs and reluctantly being tucked into her side while they watched a movie. Anything more could have led to panic.</p><p>“I have to get up, Catra. I need to take care of the stables,” Adora prods her, gently, despite the way she is still cuddling Catra back. She is ecstatic that they are cuddling and Catra is <em>enjoying</em> it. Catra releases a low, warning growl that only makes Adora chuckle. Catra clings to her tighter, making her opinion on Adora getting up <em>clear</em>.</p><p>Adora raises one hand from her back to play with her ears instead. Catra twitches her ear as Adora runs her fingers over it, unused to the sensation, but she kind of likes it. Adora pets and strokes her ear for a moment, fiddling with her earrings a bit, and then gently takes the tip between her fingers and <em>tugs</em>.</p><p><em>Fuck</em>. Catra’s fur stands on end as a jolt shivers through her body, a surprised trill spilling out from her lips. Immediately, they both still, Catra breathing heavily into Adora’s neck and Adora not breathing at <em>all</em>.</p><p>“I- Sorry, I didn’t- I just wanted to-“ Adora begins stammering, her heart pounding. Catra nips at her neck and Adora immediately falls silent. After a moment of gently reaching out, she seems to realize that Catra isn’t upset with her. Catra swallows, nuzzling against Adora’s neck as she wills her body calm again. Adora is worried about going too far. Catra really has to figure out what <em>too far</em> is at this point.</p><p>“You didn’t know. It’s fine,” Catra assures her. In Adora’s defense, she didn’t know <em>either</em>. No one has ever touched her ears before, why <em>would</em> they? She certainly wasn’t letting Scorpia’s pincers near them. Catra has scratched her own ears, yes, but she never tried <em>pulling</em> on them. She doesn’t exactly watch porn - it kind of freaks her out - so she doesn’t know if that is a normal magicat thing or a <em>her</em> thing. After a moment of deliberating, she flicks an ear rather pointedly in front of Adora’s face.</p><p>“Just don’t pull,” she instructs. Adora is surprised, and cautious, but after a moment her hand returns to Catra’s ear, petting lightly. Catra lets herself relax again, nuzzling into Adora’s neck. She is <em>really</em> comfortable, a little blissed out from the soft attention. It isn’t something she is <em>used</em> to. Adora scratches a little at the base of Catra’s ear, like she had on the first day, and Catra practically melts in her arms, purring happily. Adora is just as relaxed, but she also has something else on her mind.</p><p>“Promise me you’ll let me do this again someday, when you’re comfortable,” Adora asks, softly. She really does have to get up, but she is worried about breaking the spell of the moment. Catra is silent except for her purr for a minute. Every time Adora has touched her, she told herself it was a moment of weakness. They just slept together. That is <em>several hours</em> of weakness.</p><p>Maybe she needs to accept that she is just weak for Adora. It is a terrifying idea, to be weak for someone, to <em>let them in</em>, even just as friends. At the same time, Catra doesn’t know if she has ever felt this physically content and safe before. It is easier to entertain the notion now, in the warm fog of the morning with Adora’s arms around her, than she knows it will be later in the day, when she has had time to actually <em>think</em> about it.</p><p>“Yeah. Sometime,” she promises, nuzzling against Adora’s neck as she gasps softly beneath Catra despite how she must have <em>felt</em> her arrive at her conclusion. Catra needs to fucking think about where she is going with this, but physical contact is nice with Adora in a way it rarely is for Catra.</p><p>Adora drops both arms to wrap around her back, hugging her close for a long moment with her heart pounding. Eventually, she forces herself to drop her arms.</p><p>“I’ve got to get up. You want to sleep in? I can make us breakfast,” she offers. Catra rumbles softly. She absolutely wants to stay in bed as long as she can manage it. She nods against Adora’s neck.</p><p>“Magicats have diet restrictions,” she reminds Adora in a mumble as she reluctantly shifts off of Adora so she can finally get up. Adora slips from the bed and Catra immediately drops down in the warm spot she left, curling into the comforter and rubbing her cheek happily on the pillow.</p><p>“I know. Sausage and eggs sound good?” she asks, bending down to pet Catra’s hair again. Catra just purrs, not willing to move her face from where she has it buried in the pillow. Her tail is swaying behind her, contentment obvious, but cut her some slack. She just woke up being cuddled for the first time in her life and Adora’s bed is fucking heaven. She has never slept anywhere this soft before.</p><p>Adora takes her silence for the agreement it is and gives her one last pet before walking away. Catra burrows into the plush mattress, letting herself relax into a doze. She is vaguely aware of Adora moving around the house – she is trying to be quiet, but she <em>isn’t</em> – but the sounds are almost soothing. Catra has kind of missed living with Scorpia. Having someone she trusted around let her relax in a way she can’t quite get to when she is by herself.</p><p>She has technically known Adora for a week, but they have also had a lifetime together, and she trusts Adora to at least keep her safe from anyone <em>else</em> the same way she did Scorpia. She is afraid, yes, but mostly of talking. Having Adora around, even being in Adora’s arms, doesn’t feel dangerous. It just feels like the culmination of  what she has already experienced through the bond. She can feel Adora’s intentions, and none of them are bad, at least not right now. It feels safe to doze off as the skillet begins sizzling.</p><p>She is roused by the bedroom door opening. She lets out a questioning <em>mrphh</em> and Adora – like Scorpia always did – immediately coos at the sound. Catra lifts her head from the pillow, turning to glare at Adora. Adora is looking at her with practical hearts in her eyes, a plate of food in one hand and utensils in the other. Alright, Catra can forgive the intrusion if she can eat without having to leave her nest.</p><p>She ends up half-sat up in the bed, the comforter still tucked around her and the plate in her lap. Adora just <em>watches</em> her as she begins to eat, seemingly caught up. Pure affection is radiating out through the bond. Catra knows her eyes are a bit blown out, her tail twitching from satisfaction. Apparently Adora finds those things cute and she can <em>have</em> it considering she just brought Catra breakfast in bed.</p><p>Eventually, Adora seem to realize it is weird that she is just staring at Catra while she eats, and she rushes off to finish her own breakfast. Catra curls back up in the sheets when she finishes eating, feeling warm and full. She doesn’t drift off again, but it is nice to just lie in the softness while Adora eats her own food out in the kitchen.</p><p>She returns to the bedroom to collect Catra’s plate, and then again to disappear into her closet. Catra watches through slit eyes as Adora emerges in jeans that show off her ass and a tank top that is definitely <em>supposed</em> to be an undershirt. She has a work shirt on over it, but it is unbuttoned and the sleeves are rolled up to her elbows, showing off her flexing forearms. Catra’s narrow-eyed gaze, previously a product of laziness, turns into a glare.</p><p>“This isn’t fair,” she complains from the bed. Adora freezes, turning her head to blink at Catra a bit owlishly, unsure. Catra glares at her, the tip of her tail twitching as her cheeks flush. <em>Now</em> Adora gets it, flushing herself as she glances down at her outfit.</p><p>“It’s practical?” she tries. Catra doesn’t let up her glare. After a long moment of Adora hesitating just outside of her closet, Catra sighs and rolls her eyes.</p><p>“Don’t you dare ruin it with your stupid hat,” she tells her as she sits up. She stretches, yawning as her muscles quiver. In the back of her mind, she feels desire spark from Adora before she quickly tries to shove it down. Catra drops her stretch to send Adora a vague leer.</p><p>Adora flushes, quickly looking away and coughing into her hand. She is apologetic. <em>Why</em> Catra doesn’t know, considering she has been leering at Adora since the first moment she saw her. It isn’t her fault her soulmate is stupidly sexy. If Adora was just some girl, Catra would have done everything in her power to lure her into bed by now.</p><p>“Listen, about last night-“</p><p>Oh. That’s why she is sorry. Catra cuts her off with a growl. Adora flinches, fixing her gaze down on her socked feet. Catra sighs, ears pinning back as she turns away to slip out of the bed. She pads over to the bathroom door, but pauses before entering. Adora’s guilt is rising again.</p><p>“Not now, okay? I need time to think. After work,” Catra tells her. Adora blows out a breath, far too relieved that Catra is willing to talk about it at all. Actually, considering Catra’s resistance so far, that is fair. Now she is <em>standing</em>, the spell of last night is starting to fade. She was just so relieved that Adora was okay and terrified of leaving her she kind of forgot all her rules.</p><p>Catra shakes her head and continues on to the bathroom.  She needs to use it, but she also needs the <em>mirror</em>. As she washes her hands, she considers her reflection. She doesn’t have work for a while more. She could go home and get washed up, but she isn’t going to. Usually she showers in the mornings after Adora wakes her up. She isn’t going to use a shower that doesn’t have her fur products, and Adora is already about to leave anyway. Catra isn’t keen to find herself naked and shivering in an unfamiliar shower inside an <em>empty house</em>.</p><p>She is still in her black leggings and oversized band t-shirt from last night. It has several rips in it – some purposeful, and some accidental – and it is for a rock band. It says <em>Hellraisers Tour</em> proudly across the back. Nothing about her outfit is office appropriate, but the shirt needs to be covered up the most. Catra sighs, using her damp hands to come through her hair and tame it a bit before she slips out of the bathroom.</p><p>Adora left the bedroom. She wanted to give Catra the space she asked for. She is out in the main area of the house, getting ready to leave. Probably looking for her shoes or something. Catra searches around in the comforter for her keys and phone for a minute before slipping into Adora’s closet. The closet is a fucking <em>disaster</em>. There is no rhyme or reason. Adora has her shirts mixed in with her <em>pants</em>.</p><p>Catra sighs, poking around in it until she finds a button-front cardigan that she is going to hate by midday, but at least it will cover up her shirt. There isn’t much to be done about her leggings. She just has to hope Angella is willing to let it slide. They aren’t going to start having meetings with her other partners until next week at least. Catra emerges from the bedroom as Adora is preparing to walk out the door.</p><p>She has a stupid cowboy hat on, plucked off the hat rack by the front door, but at least she is wearing an all-black one now that looks a little less stereotypical. She found her boots too, the same dark brown pair she has been wearing every time Catra has seen her. Adora looks up, startled by her presence, and freezes when she catches sight of Catra’s new outfit. Catra blushes, mentally <em>daring</em> her to say anything about the stolen clothes. After a moment, Adora’s eyes finally manage to tear away from the cardigan so she can send Catra an unsure smile.</p><p>“You know how to get to the ranch office from here?” she asks, though she still seems a bit <em>dazed</em>. Catra really doesn’t know why. This outfit doesn’t look good and it certainly isn’t <em>sexy</em> like Adora’s entire stereotypical-rancher-with-a-dash-of-dyke-fashion getup is.</p><p>“I’m not sitting here with nothing to do for two fucking hours, Adora. I’m going with you,” she tells her, wrinkling her nose a little. Adora’s eyes go wide with shock.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>The past twelve hours are only just starting to catch up with Adora, and she is kind of <em>floored</em>. If she wasn’t mostly-asleep last night, she would have been shocked by Catra staying the night, but it is catching up with her now, and she can’t believe it despite the fact it already happened. Waking up with Catra curled into her, <em>purring</em>, had felt like a dream. In her passenger seat, Catra’s lips twitch amusement as Adora works through her late-onset shock.</p><p>Catra is fucking <em>adorable</em> in her pickup too, which certainly isn’t helping. She is wrapped in Adora’s cardigan – seeing her in it had been a shock that she still isn’t over – and curled up with her feet tucked underneath her as she leans against the window, lazily watching the countryside go by. Adora is driving far slower than usual to keep from jostling her. Usually it only takes five minutes to get to the stable, but Adora is fine with dragging it out a little.</p><p>Adora frowns as she remembers <em>stable</em> and <em>bare feet</em>. She glances down at where Catra has her feet tucked beneath her. Most hybrid don’t wear shoes. The only hybrids Adora has known either went barefoot or wore boots to avoid their toes getting crushed around the animals. Shoes are kind of a touchy subject, but specialty ones are available and work boots are <em>necessary</em> in the stable.</p><p>“We need to get you some proper boots. Just for when you’re around the stable,” Adora tells Catra as they pull into the parking lot. Catra scoffs in the passenger seat, sending Adora a flat look.</p><p>“I don’t<em> want</em> to be at the stable. It smells like horses and <em>shit</em>. This is a one-time deal,” Catra tells her before turning and hopping out of the pickup. Adora watches her go, a bit deflated. She doesn’t want it to be. She wants to have Catra here all the time. She wants Catra to get to experience hiding out from a storm in the tack room, and she <em>really</em> wants her to get comfortable enough with the horses that she’ll let Adora take her out on Swift Wind.</p><p>Catra hangs back while Adora does her opening up duties. The stables are kept clean – part of breeding Arabians is <em>class</em>, and the stables need to be kept in top condition for visitors – so Catra’s lack of shoes isn’t that much of a problem with her sticking to the middle of the stables and eyeing the horses warily. They don’t scare her, which is something Adora was worried about being a problem for her soulmate when they eventually met, but Catra isn’t a fan of them either.</p><p>“You love these beasts way too much,” Catra tells her when Adora pauses outside Swift Wind’s stall to love on him a little. Swift Wind is always eager to stick his head out when Adora passes by. Today, he isn’t bothering to steal her hat, which Adora appreciates considering she can already tell the sun is going to be <em>bad</em>. She would worry about Catra in her cardigan if she didn’t know that she was going to spend the day in the air-conditioned office. She also just doesn’t want her to take it off.</p><p>“You need to open your heart to them,” Adora returns, grinning as Swift Wind noses the brim of her hat to tip it back so he can mouth at her hair with his lips. Catra looks mildly disgusted watching Adora <em>allow</em> it.</p><p>“I’m <em>closed</em>,” she responds, immediately turning and walking away to illustrate her point. Adora blinks at Catra’s back. Catra wanders off towards the tack room, leaning up against the wall beside the door and <em>sulking</em>. Adora tries not to worry about it. Catra said she needed some time to think. She is walking away, but she isn’t <em>bolting</em>, and she is still within eyeshot at least.</p><p>Adora is distracted by her phone ringing. Apparently Glimmer has woken up, and the first thing she did was go to Adora’s house. She sends the group chat a picture of Catra’s car still outside her house along with a few lewd emojis. Adora flushes because <em>no</em>, it isn’t like that and it never will be. She texts Glimmer back that they are at the stable. They are hardly talking, much less doing something <em>inappropriate</em>.</p><p>She should have known what she was inviting, but she doesn’t think twice about Glimmer’s lack of reply until she hears Glimmer’s jeep pulling into the parking lot. Quickly, Adora rushes out of the tack room where she was checking the leads were in order before they start moving the horses. Catra watches Adora run past her with a raised eyebrow, but she doesn’t comment or attempt to follow as Adora hurries to intercept Glimmer outside the stable.</p><p>Glimmer sends Adora a worried but <em>amused</em> look when Adora grabs her by the shoulder and steers her into one of the further wings of the stable without so much as a greeting.</p><p>“That bad, huh?” she asks, once they are in the relative privacy of being in a different wing than Catra. She still might be able to pick them up with her hearing, but Adora is pretty sure they’re out of range as long as they talk quietly. She sighs, shrugging.</p><p>“I don’t know, she’s closing off again. I just didn’t think she would take it well if you made a joke about her staying over. She only did it because she was worried,” Adora tells her, leaning against the nearest stall door as they talk. Twenty Dollar Charlie sticks his head out of the stall and almost knocks her hat off, but Adora doesn’t move. She was really ecstatic this morning, but now she feels like they are regressing as Catra shuts down again. Glimmer looks at her with a mixture of pity and trepidation.</p><p>“How are you doing this morning?” she asks, though Adora can tell there is a lot more she wants to say. Adora sighs.</p><p>“I’m <em>fine</em>. Last night really was a big misunderstanding. I guess Catra wasn’t able to feel when I took my pills before we met,” Adora tells her, shaking her head. She shoots Glimmer a bit of a pleading look. She really can’t worry about herself right now when she’s busy worrying about Catra. Glimmers purses her lips and narrows her eyes.</p><p>“We’re not done talking about this, but I won’t take up your time while Catra is here,” Glimmer decides, with a sigh. Adora could squeal – she does, a little bit, letting out a high, happy noise in response. It makes Glimmer genuinely smile, rolling her eyes as she bids Adora goodbye.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Glimmer leaves after her and Adora’s exchange. Catra doesn’t know what they talked about, but Adora was reluctant to talk about it, so she can guess. She sticks nearby to Adora as she finishes preparing the stables and the other grooms arrive – fuck Catra if it isn’t weird that they’re called that, but everyone acts like it is normal - and then Adora drives her up to the ranch offices.</p><p>“Pick me up after work. I still need to get my car from your house,” Catra orders Adora as she hops out of the car. When she turns to close the pickup door, Adora is looking across at her hopefully.</p><p>“And we’ll talk?” she asks, nerves evident not only in the bond, but in her voice. Catra sighs, but she nods. She doesn’t know how much she will be ready for then, but they do need to figure something out. Avoiding talking about shit is what lead to Catra meditating to avoid addressing anything, and then that absolutely <em>spiraled</em>.</p><p>“Give me your number. I’m not promising anything, but if we could have talked before you passed out, I wouldn’t have panicked like I did,” Catra tells her, a bit reluctant as she pulls her phone out. Adora looks both hopeful and <em>guilty</em> as she nods, pulling out her own phone. They add themselves as contacts in each other’s phones and Catra, seeing the <em>plethora</em> of nonsense nicknames in Adora’s contacts, sets her middle name as <em>Don’t fucking change this</em>.</p><p>Adora snorts when she spots it, smiling to herself a little as she tucks her phone away. Catra rolls her eyes at the string of horse, sparkle, and heart emojis Adora put after her name in Catra’s phone. She doesn’t have time to change it right now, so she sends Adora an exasperated glare and hurries on to the offices. Adora stays in the parking lot, watching her go until Catra has stepped inside the front door and it has closed behind her, shielding her from view.</p><p>Upon entering the office, any thoughts of Adora immediately fly out of her head. Catra draws to a halt, blinking at the meeting already set up at the conference table. Glimmer, Bow, Angella, and a man Catra doesn’t recognize all turn to look at her upon her entrance. Fuck. Catra <em>swore</em> Angella said her first meeting with her partners wouldn’t be until next week. Catra isn’t late to work – she has exactly a minute to spare – but she is also far from office appropriate at the moment.</p><p>“Ah, Catra. Come, have a seat,” Angella greets, gesturing to an open chair between Glimmer and the unknown man. Catra nods quickly, hurrying forward and bracing herself for a very awkward meeting. Hopefully once the man leaves she can explain the situation a little and Angella won’t call the bank about her lack of professionalism.</p><p>“We haven’t gotten the chance to be introduced yet. I’m Micah, Angella’s husband. I run the local large animal veterinarian clinic,” the man tells her, extending a hand. Catra shakes it as relief floods through her. Okay, she still <em>looks</em> unprofessional, but at least she isn’t wearing a ripped t-shirt in front of someone important, and she didn’t miss a meeting notification.</p><p>“Catra,” she returns as she drops his hand. Micah sends her a gentle smile. The man kind of radiates warmth. He smells vaguely of cinnamon and pancakes. He also has long hair that is only half-up in a bun. Nothing about him screams <em>restauranteur </em>or <em>resort owner</em>, but Catra can totally picture this man caring about the health of cows or some shit. Across the table, Angella clears her throat politely.</p><p>“If you haven’t been able to tell, this ranch is very much a family. Adora is not just an employee to us, and we wanted to discuss what happened last night,” Angella tells her. Catra stills, her ears pinning back. She doesn’t know what this is, aside from an intervention of some kind, and she really doesn’t want to discuss her or Adora’s personal life. To her right, Glimmer leans forward to catch her attention. Catra looks over to find Glimmer’s expression cautious and concerned.</p><p>“I’ve known Adora for years, and she definitely has issues, but I never thought she was going to do something like you worried about last night. We’re here as her family, not her coworkers. It’s probably illegal for us to be asking even this much, but we want to know if you think she is at risk of hurting herself. You don’t have to answer,” Glimmer tells her, a bit awkwardly, but given the subject, Catra doesn’t blame her.</p><p>Catra lets out a long breath, her shoulders falling with it. She looks down at the table, tapping it lightly with her claw as she thinks. She really doesn’t want to talk about this, but not answering it will probably look worse than telling the truth. It is a big fucking question, one she hates to hear, but she is confident in her answer of no. She overreacted last night based on Adora’s history, not where she is now. She shakes her head.</p><p>“Not outside of overworking herself, at least,” she appends, because Adora has always had a problem with that. If Angella actually gives a shit, maybe she won’t put as much pressure on Adora. Adora <em>really</em> doesn’t need anyone else pressuring her. She does enough on her own. Angella nods in her periphery before exchanging a look with Micah.</p><p>“We’re sorry for putting you in this situation. Unless we have further concerns for her safety, we won’t ask you more questions relating to this,” Angella tells her, an obvious <em>intervention adjourned</em> if Catra has ever heard one. Catra is relieved, standing as soon as someone else does and hurrying over to her desk.</p><p>She feels like she can breathe again once she reaches it. It is mostly a normal workday after that. A bit subdued, and Catra can’t deny she is a bit distracted, but she manages to finish the work handed to her around her thoughts. Neither Bow nor Adora show up for lunch – something about a bent horseshoe that Catra <em>refuses</em> to learn enough to understand – and Catra is relieved for the extra time to sort out her thoughts.</p><p>If only they would be <em>sorted</em>. Catra is at war with herself. She doesn’t like having people close to her. She has a very small circle of trust, and it has always been three people. Actually, it started as <em>one</em>, but Scorpia brought in Entrapta, and then later Perfuma. Catra trusted her soulmate in general, yes, but she also had never <em>met</em> her.</p><p>Adora has a lot of access to her emotions and what she could do with that power once she really knows Catra is terrifying. Catra is pretty confident she would recognize it if Adora’s intentions turned bad in enough time to get out, but they have always been each other’s safe space. Catra is worried about losing her anchor if this breaks bad.</p><p>It is selfish – by clinging onto keeping their relationship as it always has been, she is only denying Adora and hurting her as a result – but Catra has always been selfish. The only people she makes sacrifices for are the ones in her inner circle. The question is if she is going to let Adora into that circle. Catra isn’t heartless, she would have made a late-night drive like that if she thought it could have saved just about anyone’s life, but she also knows she wouldn’t have stayed the night in a strangers’ bed afterwards.</p><p>Fuck. Adora might already be <em>in</em>.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Adora doesn’t know what Catra got ambushed with when she entered the office, but she can guess. She is just glad that the resulting turmoil was brief. Not that Catra wasn’t conflicted all day long, but Adora can tell the difference between outside stress and internal struggle. She does her best to give Catra space to work it out.</p><p>She makes sure to leave a bit early to pick up Catra, hanging around on the porch as she waits for her to finish. Catra doesn’t seem surprised when she emerges to find Adora on the porch bench again. Adora springs up, sending Catra a hopeful smile as she escorts her to the pickup. She follows Catra around to the side door of the pickup, and Catra raises an eyebrow at her when she opens it for her, but she climbs in without complaint.</p><p>“So, how was your day?” Adora asks as they drive, just to break the silence. Catra is staring out the passenger window again. She releases a noncommittal grunt in response. Adora feels her heart fall a little bit. Catra is conflicted still, and <em>definitely</em> reluctant. She doesn’t want to talk, regardless of her promise. Adora chews on her lip as they drive over to her house. She is afraid if they don’t talk <em>now</em>, Catra will retreat entirely, but she already seems withdrawn. In the passenger seat, Catra sighs.</p><p>“You don’t need to drive so slow. I’m just thinking.” She tells her. Adora flushes a little, pressing down on the gas pedal more. Okay, so maybe she was slowing down because she is afraid of Catra bolting in her car once they reach the house. That isn’t fair to Catra though – it is trapping her into talking before she is ready. Going normal speed, they reach Adora’s house a minute later.</p><p>Catra doesn’t bolt the second Adora turns the car off. She just continues to look out the window, silence stretching between them for a long moment. Adora fidgets in her seat.</p><p>“Can we do this on the porch or something?” Catra asks, voice reluctant. Adora swallows and nods. The way Catra refers to it makes it sound like a <em>breakup</em> or something, and that kind of terrifies her. Catra opens the truck door the second Adora nods, slipping out into the dust parking lot. By the time Adora has gotten out of the car, Catra is already halfway up the steps.</p><p>Adora cautiously follows behind her. Catra has flung herself onto one end of the porch swing, the seat gently rocking as she watches Adora approach with the tip of her tail twitching. Adora carefully sits on the far end of the swing. It only puts a few inches between them, but she hopes it is enough space for Catra. Catra sighs, turning her head to look out over the porch railing at the fields surrounding the house.</p><p>“I know you always thought we would be, you know… <em>Something</em> once we met,” Catra manages, gesturing between them. Adora bites on her tongue, but she nods. She really can’t deal with the emotions that statement invokes right now. The sharp pain helps her stay focused on the conversation. Catra doesn’t even wince. She just sighs.</p><p>“I can’t do that. I can’t. It gives you too much. I can’t have one person hold that much power over me,” Catra tells her, still staring out at the fields, expression stony. Adora’s heart falls, but it isn’t for her sake. She just nods. She knew that already, even if it hurts to hear how <em>scared</em> Catra is. Catra lets out a long, slow sigh in response. Her heart is hammering, every word a battle to get out.</p><p>“Being friends is okay. I’ll need to ease into but- this morning was kind of nice. And I might still withdraw sometimes. I do that,” Catra tells her, still not looking at her. Adora’s heart is pounding now, hope sparking in her as she stares at Catra. Catra flinches, looking her way and blushing when she notices the intensity with which Adora is staring at her.</p><p>“This is not because I like you. You just give good hugs,” Catra tells her, sniffing dismissively as she looks away again, but she is still blushing, and Adora can feel a warm spark in both their chests. Adora’s heart is still hammering, but cautiously, she edges a little closer on the seat. Catra notices, a small smile quirking at the edge of her lips as she rolls her eyes.</p><p>She still leans over though, pitching to the side so she can lean against Adora’s shoulder. When Adora raises her arms and drags Catra into a proper embrace, she even begins to purr. She makes no attempt to pull away. They just sit like that, fear in both their hearts, but warmth too.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I have <a href="https://n7punk.tumblr.com/post/645223212521750528/htw-extra-1-soulmates">an extra essay</a> up on my tumblr about the nature of the soulbond and how it is handled.<br/><a href="https://www.cavenders.com/ariat-womens-lively-sassy-brown-punchy-square-toe-western-boots/AR0016357.html">Adora’s daily boots</a>. Also her <a href="https://www.cavenders.com/cavenders-cowboy-collection-3x-black-duke-premium-wool-cowboy-hat/BLKGAV5145.html">black hat</a>.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Tell me (everything I don't know)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Shoutout to the lady I overheard on the subway who said “I hate my apartment, but you know what I realized I can do about that? I can leave”.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Catra spends two hours on the phone with Scorpia, Entrapta, and occasionally Perfuma on Friday night. It is overwhelming, talking about everything that happened. Catra has never admitted out loud that she used to be afraid of losing her soulmate before she could even meet her. Her friends tell her how proud they are of her, and though it feels condescending, Catra decides to just shut up and accept it.</p><p>When she gets off the phone, she gets a text from Adora. Catra has to brace herself before she opens it. She didn’t tell Adora she <em>could</em> text her – she explicitly told her she wasn’t promising shit when she gave Adora her number – but she didn’t say that she <em>couldn’t</em> either. When Catra opens the notification, all it says is <em>you too?</em></p><p>Catra finds herself huffing a laugh. She felt the turmoil from Adora as well. She was talking about what happened, or maybe going through another intervention on taking care of herself, or maybe just getting grilled by Glimmer and Bow. It didn’t escape Catra’s notice that her workload on Thursday was surprisingly light, and Glimmer was working very hard across the room from her. She was too busy worrying to be insulted by it at the time, though she kind of is in hindsight now.</p><p><em>Yeah. Gonna meditate to clear my head</em>, she sends back. She stares at her phone screen until it automatically falls asleep, but apparently Adora took that for the implied fuck off that it was and she doesn’t respond.</p><p>Meditating is exactly as hard as Catra predicted it would be for her, but she kind of likes it. She likes sitting in silence, blocking out everything but her own body. If it helps her to get better control of the bond, great, but it is also just nice. She spent most of her childhood shoving down her connection with her body, ignoring gnawing hunger aches and bruises blossoming beneath her fur.</p><p>It is weird to sit and just <em>feel</em>. She is motionless except for occasionally flexing a muscle or twitching an ear. Things come into focus that she doesn’t usually notice – the feeling of her piercings jiggling when she twitches her ear, the movement of her ribs expanding and contracting with every breath, even the subtle jump of her heartbeat. It is peaceful, and Catra is almost never at peace.</p><p>The only time her body was this relaxed without forcing it was when she woke up in Adora’s arms. Catra sighs, dropping her careful stance and flopping back onto the mattress. It was good while it lasted, but if she lets her mind go down that train of thought while she is <em>getting in touch with her body</em>, the touching is going to become very literal.</p><p>She doesn’t know where she and Adora stand as far as all that goes, but it seems cruel to do something that day after she told Adora she didn’t want a relationship. They are going to have to figure <em>something</em> out, but Catra needs some room to breathe first. If she were still in the city, she would go out to a club right now and lose herself in the music, but she isn’t driving fifty minutes to Bright Moon at this point.</p><p>Time to spend another sad evening alone in her apartment.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Adora rides into town on Saturday. She usually waits until Sunday for her weekly trip, but she wants to get the ball rolling on a question she has for Kyle.</p><p>“You’re really going all out on making her feel welcome, huh?” Kyle asks Adora as he browses the catalog behind the counter. Adora huffs, leaning against the counter and fixing him with a firm look.</p><p>“We’ve got a girl on the ranch who doesn’t ride. You know I can’t let that stand,” Adora tells him. She knows a leading question when she hears one, and she doesn’t need him running his mouth to his boyfriend. Specifically, she doesn’t need that boyfriend running his mouth to his girlfriend, because there is the very real possibility that Lonnie and Catra will cross paths. At least Adora <em>hopes</em> so.</p><p>Lonnie has entered the county race every year Adora has been here, even though it’s been guaranteed that Adora and Swift Wind will win for the last six years that they have competed together. The race isn’t far off now, and Adora is hoping Catra will be willing to come. The race is small and nothing like the formal competitions Adora raises horses for, but it is a tradition in Thaymor, and Adora is hoping the casual aspect of it will make Catra more willing to attend.</p><p>“I don’t have anything here. I can give you the card for the store Rogelio uses. Give them a call and see if they also carry equipment for magicats. If they don’t, they should be able to direct you to who does at least,” Kyle tells her, after several minutes of flipping through the catalogue. Adora sighs, but she nods and accepts the card when Kyle fetches it from behind the counter. The store’s address is closer to Bright Moon than it is to Thaymor, but maybe Catra will be willing to take a day trip with her?</p><p>Speaking of Catra, she suddenly pushes into the back of Adora’s mind. Adora frowns, looking up as the tack store door is pushed open and, to her shock, Catra walks through the door with a raised brow. She looks amused by Adora’s surprise as she comes sauntering over to the counter.</p><p>“Your beast is outside. Figured there couldn’t be that many white horses around here,” Catra tells her, answering Adora’s unasked question of <em>what the fuck is she doing here?</em> Adora blinks at her, caught between being stunned by her sudden presence and offended by the referral to Swift Wind.</p><p>“White horses, maybe, but we also breed the only Arabians in the county. The other horses around here are all stock horses,” Adora tells her. Catra levels her with a clear <em>that was gibberish</em> look before turning away to actually glance around the store. It is fairly large, but the aisles are open and sweeping, so it easy to get an appraisal of the place from the front. Right now, Adora is the only person up front, with a small family in the very back of the store trying on hats to find one to fit their child.</p><p>“Are you buying another stupid hat?” Catra asks, narrowing her eyes down the length of the aisle as she zeroes in on the family. Kyle makes a soft, slightly affronted sound, and Adora immediately makes a <em>zip it</em> hand motion, because she might need to get Catra to cooperate a bit for this present, but she also wants to keep it a surprise as much that she can. It might be the only way Catra agrees to it.</p><p>“No,” Adora says, completely honestly. Catra turns to look at her, gaze suspicious. Adora bounces a little on her heels, smiling down at Catra as innocently as she can, but she <em>is</em> telling the truth. Catra’s ears slowly pin back as her gaze gets narrower and narrower, but after several seconds she sighs and shrugs, crossing her arms.</p><p>“I’m Kyle,” Kyle cuts in, like an idiot, sticking his hand out to shake. Catra almost does a double take, turning to blink at him in surprise. Kyle’s smile dims a bit, seeming unsure, but he continues to hold his hand out.</p><p>“Adora, I need a fucking primer on country etiquette,” Catra tells her, sending a confused and somewhat pleading look her way before she reaches out and takes Kyle’s hand to shake. “Catra. You’ll never see me in here again,” she tells him, before withdrawing her hand quickly to cross her arms again.</p><p>“Why <em>are</em> you here?” Adora asks, her brow furrowing as she gives Kyle a vague wave to make it clear he is not <em>part</em> of this conversation and then waves for Catra to follow her as she heads for the front doors. Catra huffs, but she walks with Adora as she leaves the store. Catra might have said why she walked in, but Adora doesn’t know why she would even be on this street to spot Swift Wind in the first place.</p><p>“I hate my apartment and there’s nothing to do in this town. I was just going for a walk and hoping I could find something to do when I spotted your horse,” Catra tells her, shrugging. Adora frowns as they walk up to the hitch and she unties Swift Wind.</p><p>“Why do you hate your apartment?” she asks. She knows the building where Catra lives, but she has never been inside herself. She also just doesn’t know that <em>much</em> about Catra, which feels even weirder now they’ve met in person. Catra turns to lean her back against the horse hitch as Adora straightens out Swift Wind’s reins.</p><p>“I have like two real pieces of furniture at this point and almost no décor. I spent all my money on the car so I could get my ass around town. It’s just two bleak little rooms, and the living room doesn’t have a window, so it’s just depressing to be in at all,” Catra tells her, shrugging. Adora turns to Catra, knowing her eyes are brimming with hope, and is immediately greeted by Catra hissing, though with no true aggression.</p><p>“I’m <em>not</em> touching that beast. You aren’t getting me on it. And what are people going to think if I <em>go home</em> with you?” Catra asks her, tail lashing and gaze narrowed. Adora is grateful for the bond telling her that Catra isn’t really annoyed, but she is <em>worried</em>. Adora frowns, unsure why Catra is even worried about that. Catra rolls her eyes at Adora’s confusion before turning her head to look away.</p><p>“Rumours, Adora. They already know I have a soulmate. What are they going to think if I go back with you? That you’re my soulmate, or worse, that I’m a cheater?” Catra asks. Adora winces, turning to look at Swift Wind as if he can help her with this. Swift Wind just blinks at her, breathing steadily as he waits. Adora could point out that Catra almost got with someone else multiple times over the years, but she doesn’t. It wasn’t cheating at all. Catra considers Adora a platonic friend, but when most people think of soulmates, they assume the bond is romantic. Statistically, it is more likely to be.</p><p>“Let me show you around town then. I can walk and just lead Swift Wind. Maybe you’ll find somewhere you’d like to kill time in the future, but if not, it’s not a bad way to spend an afternoon?” Adora tries, a bit of a question. She <em>hopes</em> spending an afternoon with her doesn’t sound like a waste of a day to Catra at least. Catra sniffs, face still turned away, but Adora can tell she is <em>considering</em> it at least. After several long moments, Catra’s shoulders fall with a sigh.</p><p>“Fine. I was just going to walk around town anyway. But don’t you let him touch me,” Catra agrees, pushing off post. Adora lights up in response.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Touring town with Adora is weird. Partially because there is a giant pack animal following behind them, but mostly because Adora keeps pointing out places and telling the most country stories Catra has ever heard. When she is in the middle of a story about visiting one of the <em>two</em> local restaurants when she came to Thaymor with her foster dad to buy a horse, she suddenly draws to a halt and turns to stare at Catra. They are walking in grass along the side of the road, this part of town not finished enough to have real sidewalks.</p><p>“Where are you from? You keep mentioning country manners like you’ve never been to a small town before, but-“ Adora cuts off, gesturing vaguely at the air between them. “I don’t know. It’s weird knowing so much and so little at the same time,” Adora tells her. Catra’s ears pin back. Her heart <em>immediately</em> wants to resist telling Adora any information.</p><p>Adora has shared a lot with her though. Catra blows out a long breath, scuffing her foot through the grass for a moment before she starts walking again. It takes Adora a second, but then she rushes forward to follow, though Catra can feel her worrying behind her. Catra should assure her, but it is hard to. Her mind immediately warns her that this is a trap. The bond tells her that Adora just wants to <em>know</em>.</p><p>“I was an inner city kid my whole life. Never left the city limits before I started the drive out here,” Catra acquiesces, shrugging as she does so. She is looking down at the ground as she walks, but she doesn’t need to look at Adora falling in step beside her to feel her heart <em>bursting</em>. Catra didn’t give her a name, but apparently Adora doesn’t need it. It isn’t like she told Catra the name of her hometown either. It doesn’t really matter which city it was anyway – Catra doubts Bright Moon City is that different from home.</p><p>“Wait-“ Adora cuts off, the affection still there but suddenly on hold as her voice turns deadly serious. Catra fur bristles a little as she snaps her gaze up to meet Adora’s wide eyes. “So you’ve never even <em>touched</em> a horse before?” Adora asks, and she sounds a bit aghast. Catra blinks at her for a solid fifteen seconds before she bursts out laughing.</p><p>“<em>No</em>, Adora,” she manages, once the laughter has died down and Adora is still looking at her with an expression approaching horror. Catra snickers into her hand. She can’t believe that Adora hasn’t realized yet that she doesn’t have any livestock experience. She thought the ranch was going to also have cows on it when she first arrived, despite knowing Bright Moon Stables was a racehorse breeder.</p><p>Her snickering is cut short when Adora’s expression hardens with resolve and she reaches out. Her hand is gentle when she takes Catra’s wrist in her own, and for some reason Catra’s heart pounds as Adora shifts, lightly twisting her hand on Catra’s wrist to accommodate the movement as she steps behind Catra, holding her wrist up and gently turning them both until-</p><p>Until they are face-to-face with Swift Wind, Catra’s hand held up and out.</p><p><em>“Adora</em>,” Catra hisses, but she can’t back up because it is just <em>backing into Adora’s arms</em>. To her shock, Adora chuckles a little behind her. The sound reverberates straight through Catra, causing her fur to stand on end as she warily eyes the horse just <em>inches</em> from touching her now. Adora’s free arm is twisted awkwardly around Catra’s side to keep holding onto the reins. Catra <em>could</em> bolt out to the side, but that is her only escape route.</p><p>“He’s not going to hurt you. He likes being pet the same as you do. He isn’t as soft, but he’s solid. Comforting,” Adora promises. Her stupid boots give her a boost over Catra – she didn’t <em>realize</em> that until she saw Adora barefoot in her house, but she is very aware of it now as it means she is practically whispering in Catra’s ear. Her voice is low, likely to seem calming, but it is having the opposite effect on Catra, causing her tail to lash behind her.</p><p>Adora gently tugs her wrist forward. Catra could snatch her wrist away. If she actually pulled, Adora would probably let her go-</p><p>Catra yanks her wrist back. It immediately slips through Adora’s fingers. Catra’s heart is fucking <em>hammering</em> now as she stares at Swift Wind, Adora drawing in a sharp breath behind her before she takes a careful step back to give Catra space. Unfortunately, that makes her tug on Swift Wind’s reins, encouraging him to take a step forward, right up into Catra’s face. Fortunately, she doesn’t actually give half a shit about touching the horse. She just needed Adora to let her go. She knew she would, but she <em>needed</em> the proof.</p><p>“I’m sorry-“ Adora starts, hurrying to the side so she can pull Swift Wind away from Catra. Catra cuts her off by snatching out to grab the reins. Adora freezes, looking down at Catra’s hand and then up to make eye contact with her. Adora is wide-eyed, worried and a bit confused. Catra lets out a breath and then sends Adora an eyeroll that is far more confident than she feels.</p><p>She lifts her hand and carefully places it on the large flat of Swift Wind’s head and pets down his white nose. Actually, he is <em>soft</em> around his nose, almost velvety, and Catra finds herself repeatedly stroking him there. Swift Wind seems nonplussed by her touch, completely unbothered. To her left, she can feel Adora bursting with affection again. Her confusion is fading. She knows Catra well enough through their bond to have figured out what that was.</p><p>“I don’t understand why you’re in love with him, but he’s fine,” Catra decides, awkwardly patting Swift Wind's nose once before pointedly turning away and beginning to walk forward again. Adora doesn’t even protest the slight against her beloved horse – she just eagerly follows after Catra, her heart still brimming over.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Adora manages to prod Catra into stargazing again on Sunday night. She avoided reaching out all day, not wanting to overwhelm Catra after they spent a few hours together on Saturday and Catra actually opened up, talking about her hometown and how much she hated going to college as they wandered.</p><p>Adora could have listened to Catra talk about her shitty community college and her friends she met there all day, but eventually they had walked through all the parts of town it was reasonable to reach on foot. Catra at least let Adora walk her back to her apartment building after she saw how disappointed she was that they were done.</p><p>Adora might not know which was Catra’s unit, but when she looks up at the stars on Sunday night, she knows what the balcony Catra is sitting on looks like, and she knows the stars they are looking at are the <em>same</em>. Every constellation she sees, Catra does too. She wishes Catra was sat on the porch bench beside her, but maybe she will be <em>one day</em>. Now Adora knows how Catra feels about her apartment, she is going to do everything in her power to keep her out of it.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Adora sits beside Catra at lunch on Tuesday with the frailest confidence Catra has ever seen a person project. Her back is straight and shoulders set, but her eyes say <em>is this okay</em> while the bond wavers from her hesitance. Catra, for her part, just rolls her eyes and takes a bite of her lunch. Adora <em>visibly</em> releases the breath she was holding when Catra doesn’t insist she move.</p><p>She spends the rest of lunch pestering Catra with twenty questions. Glimmer and Bow watch with amusement as Adora asks Catra about her hobbies, and her friends, and her old job, and what music she likes. Adora answers all her own questions, too, clearly desperate to really <em>know</em> the person who has been in her head all her life.</p><p>Catra catches Adora eying her earrings as lunch is wrapping up. She raises an eyebrow at Adora and Adora quickly looks away. Catra can practically hear her mentally apologizing. She knows better than to ask about the earrings, clearly.</p><p>“I mostly got them to piss off my old boss for transferring me out,” Catra tells her, and then feels her ears pin back as she realizes she just said that within earshot of her <em>current</em> boss. Glimmer snorts a laugh as she stands from the lunch table, seemingly unbothered by Catra’s admission that was <em>supposed</em> to direct attention away from her ear. And yes, it has definitely done that, but Catra can’t help and glance nervously at where Angella is currently sitting at her desk. Angella looks up, making eye contact with Catra. She has a wry smile pulling at her lips.</p><p>“Though I hope I do nothing to offend you, it says all I need to know of them that piercings could earn their ire,” Angella tells her, nodding a little when Catra lets out a relieved breath before turning her attention back to her computer. At her side, Adora cautiously reaches out mentally before she reaches out <em>physically</em>.</p><p>Adora reaches up to scratch lightly at the base of Catra’s ear. Catra, despite the fact they are in the office and her coworkers are watching, melts into it. She doesn’t realize she is leaning into Adora until their shoulders bump. Catra blushes, embarrassed, but she can’t stop. It feels so <em>good</em>. The office has a relaxed environment anyway.</p><p>It is a family run business that doesn’t see a lot of outside visitors. Catra watched Glimmer throw balled-up paper at her mother’s head for a full two minutes trying to get Angella’s attention on her second day here. Besides, it is technically still lunch. Catra can do what she wants with her time right now. She lets herself lean into the affection, purring softly and ignoring the affection absolutely bursting from her soulmate.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Adora waits on the porch for Catra to emerge from the ranch office after work. She is pretty sure she is going to be doing this twice a week for the rest of her life, or at least until Catra tells her to knock it off. Catra doesn’t seem surprised when she emerges from the office to find Adora there. Adora sends Catra her best puppy eyes, and after a moment of hanging reluctantly by the door, Catra makes a big show of giving up with a sigh and crossing over to the bench.</p><p>The show of reluctance is cut somewhat by how close she sits to Adora, as if inviting her to touch her. Adora had been kind of surprised she allowed the ear scritches in front of everyone in the office, but no matter how badly she wants to touch her soulmate, she has something she needs to ask first, and Catra might not want Adora to be touching her for it.</p><p>“I, uh, wanted to ask about… Wednesday nights,” Adora asks, awkwardly, but she <em>can’t</em> have a repeat of last week. Catra flushes, her ears pinning back as she quickly looks away. Shit. “I know that’s probably too much, but we should figure a system out. You’re already kind of on a record streak right now,” Adora adds, hoping to make it better, but it only flusters Catra more and she hisses in response.</p><p>Adora decides to shut up. Catra is uncomfortable, just like she had been last week when Adora reached out. They do need to figure out a system before Catra breaks and Adora <em>joins</em> her, but maybe this was a conversation better had over text. Bringing up how often Catra gets off definitely wasn’t the best move, but Adora was tripping over herself as usual and didn’t think it through.</p><p>Catra’s tail is twitching – twitching so much, in fact, that it falls into Adora’s lap on the next twitch. Adora blinks down at it and then looks up at Catra, still turned away. Catra growls lowly, but that movement was <em>purposeful</em>. Cautiously, Adora reaches down and gently pets the length of Catra’s tail in her lap. The fur is soft, thicker than it looks, and Adora could easily spend <em>hours</em> petting her like this, but she kind of has other things to worry about right now. After several moments of silence where Catra stares at nothing and Adora simply pets her tail, Catra finally speaks.</p><p>“Are you still comfortable with it? Knowing I’m not interested in anything more?” she asks. Adora draws in a breath. Yeah, it still kind of hurts every time Catra says it, but she understands why Catra drew the line she did. She also knows she is far from <em>uninterested</em>, but there is a difference between attraction and love. She just nods before realizing Catra is still turned away from her.</p><p>“There’s nothing else like it, Catra. I’d rather have that with you than fumble through something <em>less</em> with anyone else. If you don’t mind, I don’t either,” Adora returns. Catra lets out a soft <em>hmph</em>. After a moment of silence, she heaves a sigh and finally turns back to face Adora. Her cheeks are blazing, ears still pinned back in embarrassment.</p><p>“Thursday nights instead? So we don’t see each other first thing after. To make it less awkward,” Catra offers. Adora blinks, a bit startled but-</p><p>“Absolutely,” she agrees without a moment’s hesitation. She will take any way Catra is comfortable with Adora touching her again, even if it is just via the ghosting sensations transmitted through the bond. She flushes, well aware how eager she sounds. Catra is still visibly flustered, but she tries to cover it with an amused smile before she cautiously scoots a bit closer on the bench until their thighs are brushing.</p><p>Adora takes the invitation, reaching out to gently wrap an arm around Catra’s shoulder and tuck her in against her side. Now they have begun touching, it seems Catra can’t <em>stop</em>, but Adora can hardly blame her. Regardless of what Catra says, Adora knows she is starved for contact after a lifetime of it feeling dangerous. Adora is the one person she can let her walls down with and trust not to hurt her – physically, at least. They can work on the rest. It is already more than most others have gotten with Catra.</p><p>Catra nuzzles into her shoulder a little, beginning to purr. That purr is already Adora’s lifeblood. She is going to do everything she can to earn it for every day of the rest of her life.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Wednesday night comes and goes without incident. Catra meditates again – or at least tries to before she gives up and just calls Scorpia, letting her friend talk her ears off for almost two hours – and Adora never reaches out. Not that Catra expected her to, but it still feels noteworthy somehow.</p><p>On Thursday, one of Angella’s partners from Bright Moon City - the owner of the resort preparing to break ground on construction - visits for the first time. Catra gives a presentation for an hour about the traffic capabilities in Thaymor, the cost of the resort providing transportation, and the possible cost of the city doing so if they can be lobbied into it. The majority of visitors may be arriving in their own vehicles, but that doesn’t mean Thaymor can <em>support</em> them. It is a complicated presentation, with almost a dozen options for different plans presented.</p><p>Having to be informative and personable for so long always drains Catra. She is grateful when two o’clock hits and they bid goodbye to their visitor so he can bring the data back to the rest of his company. Angella has a conference call meeting right after he leaves, but before she picks up the phone she glances across at where Catra is sitting back down at her desk.</p><p>“It shouldn’t be more than an hour, but I know how distracting it is for you when I hold meetings. You did good work today. Why don’t you take the next hour off? I’m sure Adora would be happy to spend some time with you,” Angella tells her. Catra twitches, blinking at Angella across the room from her. Angella just looks back at her with a serene smile.</p><p>Catra tries to ask if she is sure, and assures Angella she can work through any distraction, but Angella is insistent and doesn’t have much time to argue before her call is going to begin. Somehow Catra finds herself exiled from the office. She can’t just go home and call it a day – she has another two hours of work left once her exile ends – so she finds herself reluctantly dropping into her coupe’s driver’s seat and heading towards the stables.</p><p>Angella said she considers Adora family, and this certainly feels like a meddling aunt trying to set up her niece. As Catra walks up to the stables, she gets to watch Adora emerge from one of the little stalls and do a doubletake, staring at Catra with wide eyes. Catra sends Adora her best cocky smirk with just a little bit too much of her fangs in it, her confidence boosted by the way Adora’s heart is <em>pounding</em> at the unexpected sight of her.</p><p>Shit, she is short of breath too. Catra might very well have killed her. Cautious, Catra reaches out mentally as she approaches her soulmate. All she gets back is desire. Catra draws to a halt, glancing down at her outfit. She wore one of her two suits today, this one all-black, hoping to make up for her lack of professional attire last Thursday.</p><p>The office is a relaxed environment generally, business casual at <em>most</em>, but Catra wanted to show she could be professional when it counts, and moreover, she just wanted Angella’s partner to take her seriously. It is a power suit for sure, but she hadn’t predicted the power it would hold <em>over</em> <em>Adora</em>. Glancing back up, Catra watches Adora slowly flush up to her ears and then quickly turn away.</p><p>“What are you doing here?” Adora asks, her voice high and a bit strangled. She is flustered as hell. Catra can’t help but smirk, placing a hand on her hip and cocking it out despite how Adora isn’t looking at her anymore.</p><p>“Angella has a conference call. I’m all yours for the next hour,” Catra tell her. Adora lets out a sound like a puppy being kicked, her back still turned to Catra. Catra can’t help but be <em>delighted</em>. There is a power high to be had in a bombshell being weak for her, and watching Adora get riled up at the sight of her has her tail twitching from barely-contained glee.</p><p>“Could you phrase it any other way?” Adora asks, a pathetic plea as she turns back around and just <em>stops</em> upon seeing Catra a second time. Catra grins at her, just a touch feral, but she can’t help it. She has never had this effect on someone before – or at least, if she did, she didn’t <em>know</em> it.</p><p>“<em>No</em>,” she decides, still grinning. Adora lets out another soft sound, her gaze flicking down Catra’s body before she manages to force her eyes up to make eye contact with Catra again.</p><p>“You, uh, aren’t dressed for stablework,” she says, face flushed. Catra can practically <em>hear</em> her thoughts on what Catra is dressed for. Catra arches a brow at her.</p><p>“Good thing I won’t be doing any then. Now be a good girl and get back to sweating,” Catra tells her, still grinning.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Catra is having the time of her fucking life, delighting in tormenting Adora with her sexy suit and arrogance that shouldn’t <em>do it</em> for Adora, but all she can think about is that there is a cot in the tack room for quick naps and she wants to be there <em>yesterday</em>. She would worry about making Catra uncomfortable if her enjoyment weren’t so obvious. The fact that they talked about keeping up the more sexual side of their relationship on Tuesday helps too.</p><p>Oh fuck, that’s <em>tonight</em>. Adora is going to die. There is no way she is going to be able to think of anything but this fitted suit and Catra’s teasing taunts from outside the stalls. As Adora works inside, making her rounds checking that the stalls are in order for the return of the horses from the paddock, Catra leans against the outside of the stall, leering at her over the top of the door.</p><p>“What are you even doing, anyway?” Catra asks when Adora has her back turned to her, bent over while she frowns at a crack in the edge of Princess of Purrsia’s trough. Adora knows that Catra isn’t asking about what she is doing in this exact moment and more overall as she moves about the stable.</p><p>“Just making sure the stalls are in shape. My main job is training, testing, and showing the horses for sale, plus helping with foaling and covering, but I also have to make sure the stable is in working order, even if the other grooms are the ones largely in charge of doing the cleaning and caring for the horses,” Adora tells Catra as she pulls out her phone to text Glimmer that she is going to have to pull a trough out of storage. They keep extras around, but Glimmer has a spreadsheet she will need to mark the loss on so they can keep track of everything and ensure they still <em>have</em> extras around when they need it.</p><p>“Where are all the horses right now?” Catra asks, her voice a bit distant. Wandering off to investigate something, probably. Or maybe she just can’t stand being near the smell of the stalls anymore. Adora has been Stockholmed into associating horses and <em>happiness</em> with the scent of the stable, but she knows the smell has to be worse for Catra, regardless of how clean the stable is kept.</p><p>“Out in the paddock. Grooms are herding them around right now to stimulate their muscles and keep them from developing stable vices. Standing in a box all day isn’t how horses are meant to live,” Adora calls back over her shoulder as she grabs the sides of the trough and lifts it up, grunting from the weight as she carries it out the back of the stall. During the day, usually they leave the back of the stalls open so they can easily clean them out and lead the horses back in from the paddocks.</p><p>Adora dumps the trough outside, resolving to come back to it later, when Catra isn’t here. Adora was <em>supposed</em> to go out and observe the horses while they were exercising to assess them, but she has to check out the stalls too, so she is doing it now. She thinks Catra would rather hang around the empty stable than the horses themselves. Besides, she has <em>concerns</em> about Catra standing barefoot near where the horses are running freely.</p><p>Adora re-enters the stable through the stall, drawing to a halt at the sight of Catra squatting down a few feet away from her. She has her back turned to Adora, seeming to be petting one of the barn cats, but Adora is a bit absorbed in how <em>tight</em> Catra’s suit pants are from this angle. In front of her, Catra snorts, shifting a little to scoop up the cat she is petting and then turning around to face Adora.</p><p>“Don’t be horny in front of the cat,” she admonishes, her eyes sparkling with amusement and a smile pulling at her lips. It actually does work to cut off Adora’s train of thought, but mostly because it draws attention to <em>which</em> cat Catra is holding. In her arms, the new silver-blue stray is lounging comfortably, seeming content to be held despite the fact they haven’t so much as sniffed at Adora’s hand yet.</p><p>“What the fuck,” Adora complains, glaring at the cat in her soulmate’s arms. Catra blinks, glancing down at the cat before looking back up at her, an incredulous expression slowly dawning on her face.</p><p>“Are you jealous? <em>Of a cat</em>?” she demands. Adora flushes, quickly and vehemently shaking her head as she continues to glare at the absolute <em>little shit</em> that has been toying with her for weeks now.</p><p>“No, it’s just-“ she starts to defend, but the amusement on Catra’s face transforms into full-blown glee.</p><p>“You <em>are</em>,” she cuts in, seemingly delighted as she makes a big show of cuddling the cat beneath her chin. The stray – a fucking <em>traitor</em> to the ranch despite the fact they have been eating Adora’s cat food for two months – begins to purr and nuzzles at Catra’s chin.</p><p>“Okay, <em>maybe</em>, but they haven’t even let me pet them yet! I haven’t been able to bring them to the vet at all because they run from me!” Adora returns, gesturing a bit wildly at the cat. The cat, upset by her flailing arm, hisses at her. Adora narrows her eyes at them. This is <em>betrayal</em>. Catra begins to chuckle, clearly wanting to burst out laughing but suppressing it – likely for the sake of the cat in her arms. Adora huffs, crossing her arms and looking away with only a <em>little</em> bit of a pout.</p><p>“Oh, cheer up, princess. They just need a <em>special touch</em>. Have you given them a name yet?” Catra asks, carefully scratching beneath the cat’s chin even as she leers in Adora’s direction. Adora flushes. She <em>cannot</em> handle Catra calling her a pet name while she is wearing that suit, even without the innuendo. She resolutely glares at the mangy stray.</p><p>Okay, they aren’t actually mangy. They have been staying in and around the ranch buildings and eating a proper diet of cat food and freshly-caught mice for weeks. Their coat is almost as stunning as Livingmoore Mist’s, but Livingmoore Mist is a good mare who has never tried to cuddle with Catra before and Adora is sticking with her assessment.</p><p>“No. I don’t name them until I’ve taken them to the vet,” Adora tells her, begrudgingly. The cat just stares at her, seeming <em>smug</em> in its coveted place in Catra’s arms. Catra hums in acknowledgement as she considers the cat in her arms for several moments, petting them slowly.</p><p>“Melog,” she decides. Adora blinks at her, a bit startled by the name, but after a moment she nods. Whatever Catra wants to call the cat, Adora will happily go along with it. It isn’t like Melog is exactly a gendered name regardless of what the vet ends up saying. Adora also refrains from naming them in case they have something infectious and need to be adopted out before they spread it amongst the other cats, but the stray has been around long enough that it is probably too late at this point.</p><p>“Think you can catch them again? If I can just schedule an appointment for them and have you bring them when it is time, it will be a lot easier than trying to lure than into the stray trap,” Adora asks Catra, cautiously edging a bit closer. Melog immediately hisses at her, ears pinning back, and to Adora’s shock, Catra <em>shushes</em> them.</p><p>“Princess here isn’t going to hurt you. Let her feel how soft you are,” Catra scolds them, gently. Melog continues to grumble, but Catra looks up to make eye contact with Adora and nods to give her the go ahead. Adora reaches out again, causing Melog to hiss once more, but this time she reaches <em>higher</em> and pets Catra instead as Melog watches on. They seem <em>confused</em> as Catra rolls her eyes.</p><p>“They won’t bite you, I promise you can pet them. And you better not be getting hay in my hair,” Catra tells her. Adora grins at Catra – she is <em>absolutely</em> getting hay in her hair – and scratches behind her ear. Catra’s eyes flutter closed, her arms tightening a little around Melog to cuddle them closer as she sinks into contentment for several long seconds.</p><p>Melog is watching with wide eyes, seemingly jealous. Cautiously, Adora drops her hand to gently scratch under their chin, letting them get used to her touch and scent. Melog allows it, though they watch her carefully as Catra reluctantly opens her eyes again. She huffs a little as Adora shifts closer to properly pet Melog.</p><p>“Now who’s jealous of a cat?” Adora asks, sending Catra a shit-eating grin. It was a mistake. She feels the challenge taking hold of Catra’s mind as Catra fixes her with a flat look and then promptly drops her arms. Melog mews an admonishment, pushing off her chest to jump away and then dart off into one of the empty stalls. Adora watches them go with a frown.</p><p>“Are you <em>sure</em> you’ll be able to catch them again after dropping them like that?” she asks. Catra snorts, waving a hand in a vague <em>it will be fine</em> gesture.</p><p>“Yes. Just schedule the appointment after work or make sure Angella is okay with me taking some time off to catch them one of the days I’m here,” Catra promises her, looking down to check the time on her phone. “Speaking of, Angella’s call should be done soon. I should get back,” Catra tells her, turning away to head towards the stable entrance.</p><p>Adora pouts, disappointed Catra is leaving so soon, but it also <em>has</em> been an hour. It just doesn’t feel like it was that long. Catra hesitates at the entrance to the stable, turning to flash a bit of a wicked grin at Adora.</p><p>“I’ll see you tonight, <em>princess</em>,” Catra promises her, with a wink. Adora, through a massive amount of willpower, doesn’t respond. Any response she gives would be closer to a squeak than words, anyway.</p><p>Fuck, what did she start?</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Catra can’t deny that Adora’s desire affected her too. Also, maybe just <em>Adora</em> did. Catra never thought much of the whole rancher getup until she saw a toned blonde in it, but she can’t deny she gets it now, at least a bit. The pants show off Adora’s ass and thighs, her shirts – or lack thereof – highlight her arms, back, and chest, and though Catra generally prefers people to be on her level, she likes that the boots give Adora just enough of a boost to talk in her ear.</p><p>The hat is still <em>stupid</em> though, and Catra is never turning a corner on that. Adora wasn’t wearing it today, though, favouring her ponytail as she worked inside instead. Catra enjoyed the view as much as she enjoyed how flustered Adora was by her suit. She can’t help but think about it for the rest of the day. Either because Adora is busy or because she is wise enough to know it would be as awkward to see each other right before as right after, Adora isn’t waiting for Catra when she gets out of work.</p><p>Actually, from the adrenaline coming through the bond, Adora is riding, which is kind of perfect for Catra. She drives straight home, eating a quick dinner after she arrives before stretching out in her bed, purring a little just from her <em>excitement</em>. Adora’s adrenaline bursts keep fading, apparently riding in bursts. Every time the adrenaline coming through the bond faded, she worried Adora was <em>done</em>, but now the adrenaline is flowing again as Catra lays down.</p><p>She sends Adora a text that simply says <em>good luck</em>. She doesn’t know if Adora can check her phone while riding, but it declares her intentions should Adora have questions or protests. Mentally, Catra reaches out, pleased when it seems to startle Adora. She is focused, training either herself or the horse – Catra can’t tell and she doesn’t care. She has long-enjoyed teasing her soulmate, and she grins to herself as she slides her hand down to touch herself.</p><p>Catra swears she feels Adora’s breath catch from across town. Catra sighs with contentment, moaning softly as she begins to work her hand over herself. It is all a tease – they both know Adora can’t join her right now, but when she <em>does</em>, it will be even better. Catra toys with one of her nipple piercings with one hand, gasping quietly at the sensation, and works the other against herself almost lazily.</p><p>She isn’t trying to get there without Adora. She just wants her to be in a desperate state when she manages to get back to her house. It was never too far when Catra did this before, and if it is now, Adora can always text her. She doesn’t, though, continuing to ride in bursts. When she rides, her heartrate spikes. In the lulls in between, her desire builds with no distraction or outlet for the growing frustration.</p><p>Catra can <em>feel</em> how desperately Adora wants to touch, but she has to settle on gripping something – the reins, the fence, a clipboard, Catra doesn’t know or care – and clenching her thighs. Catra feels the utter <em>relief</em> of the moment Adora is done. All she feels is her soulmate’s desire and her pounding heartbeat as she <em>races</em> back home.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Adora makes some excuses about Catra needing her to shove off some of her closing duties after she runs all the horses through the benchmark tests. She should write up her report on all their progress, but she and Glimmer were both taking notes as they went, and it can <em>wait</em>.</p><p>Adora drives home with absolutely ruined underwear after Catra edged her while she was <em>working</em>. Catra must feel it the moment she is alone, because she starts actually touching herself with purpose, rather than the lazy explorations and teasing she has been enjoying. Adora strips out of her clothes the moment she reaches her bedroom, flinging herself on top of her covers at the foot of her bed.</p><p>She is sweaty and gross, in desperate need of a shower, but she can’t <em>wait</em>. Adora had been nervous Catra would finish herself off before she got home and leave Adora to follow her footsteps by herself. Adora has never touched herself with Catra joining in at some point and she wasn’t eager to try. She wanted <em>this</em>.</p><p>Catra is vocal, even if Adora can’t hear it. She can feel it, Catra gasping and the buzzing sensation of phantom purrs starting and breaking off in her chest. Adora closes her eyes so she can focus on the sensations of Catra’s hand pinching at her nipple – Adora mirrors the motion on her other side, moaning as desire pours through both of them – and the ghost of Catra’s hand working over her, along with her own fingers doing the same.</p><p>Adora has always felt connected to her soulmate when they did this. It is on a whole new level now she knows what Catra looks, sounds, even <em>feels</em> like. She can picture Catra, splayed out in her bed, playing with her only piercings that Adora hasn’t seen – at least not outside of peeking through her shirt as she stretched and pulled it tight over her chest last Thursday.</p><p>Thinking about Catra in her bed only a week ago doesn’t make it any less intense, even if the whole thing was innocent at the time. It isn’t as she remembers it <em>now</em>. Adora is fucking soaking, so of course Catra chooses now to trail her fingers down and tease her entrance. Adora whimpers, pinching her nipple just a little too hard as she continues to work her other hand over herself. She <em>aches</em>, desperate to be fucked and yet also <em>being fucked</em>, if only by the phantom sensations as Catra presses in.</p><p>It is enough. Adora is dripping and close, worked up from all the teasing, and Catra isn’t far behind her, having actually been <em>touching</em> herself this entire time, no matter how lazily. When Catra drops her other hand to ghost over her clit again, the sensations suspending between them are too much. Catra peaks, gasping out, and after a few moments of blistering heat and half-worrying she wouldn’t get there with her, Adora spills over as well.</p><p>It is probably for the best she didn’t shower beforehand. She only worked up more of a sweat and her thighs are soaked. Adora lays on her bed, breathing heavily as her body catches up with the sensations sweeping through it. Catra is purring, limp and content in her bed. Adora is a little overwhelmed by just how good that was. It always is, but it definitely felt <em>more</em> this time. More intense, more intimate, more fulfilling even.</p><p>Meeting Catra really has opened the floodgates – somewhat literally, as far as Adora’s underwear is concerned – and if Adora couldn’t picture ever doing this with someone else before, she certainly can’t now. Luckily, she doesn’t have to. Despite Catra saying she <em>isn’t interested</em>, her attraction is obvious. Adora can work with that. As long as Catra is comfortable still doing this, then Adora is too. She gives herself a few more moments to breathe and just soak in the enjoyment before she stands to finally take a shower and wash the grime of the day off her skin.</p><p>Catra said it would be awkward to see each other right after, so Adora will leave her alone on Friday, but she already knows she is going to be pestering Catra for time together on Saturday. Adora feels drawn to her like a magnet, and if the intensity of <em>that</em> was anything to go by, Catra may very well feel the same, even if it is with different intentions.</p><p>At least, she says that. She also said that she couldn’t let one person hold that much power over her last week. Adora draws to a halt in her bathroom, in the middle of running the water to warm it up. Catra has said a lot of shit, and Adora is suddenly realizing it may not add up to <em>not interested</em> and is likely closer to <em>afraid</em>.</p><p>Adora draws in a breath, blinking at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. Catra <em>just</em> got comfortable with a friendship. Adora won’t push her boundaries before she is ready. The possibility – and the hope – is back in Adora’s mind though. She may end up disappointed, but she survived the rejection once, and she can do it again, especially if they are already friends this time and she knows she won’t lose Catra.</p><p>For now, they will feel their friendship out, and Adora will do what she can to respect Catra’s barriers. She knows that is the only way to truly get through them. Once she is through, though, Adora has <em>hope</em> for what they could be for the first time in years.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The horse is named Princess of Purrsia because this is set in Modern Etheria and Persia doesn’t exist – the magicat-populated island of Purrsia from the 80s original does, however.<br/>In Adora's defense, she never felt love through the bond, so she really thought Catra's feelings were 100% platonic until this moment and she just also had a functioning set of eyes and a thing for her body.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Heat (stroke)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Just to clarify, this is set almost (seeing as it picks up on that Tuesday, not the Thursday after) two weeks after the end of the last chapter.<br/>No spoilers, but if you haven’t read my previous fics, I promise it's Chill.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“What are you doing Saturday?” Adora asks on Tuesday, pretending to be casual. The ruse doesn’t work very well. Catra immediately stills and narrows her eyes at Adora. Bow is watching with bated breath across the table from them. Both he and Glimmer know Adora’s plan, but Glimmer doesn’t seem to give much of a shit about the outcome.</p><p>Glimmer insists that Catra is all over Adora and everything is for show. Adora could point out that Catra very much <em>isn’t</em> all over her, she’s just a little touch-starved and willing to take advantage of Adora’s presence, but she refrains from it. Arguing with Glimmer once she settles on something is fruitless. Besides, Adora knows Catra’s soul and her reluctance runs deeper than <em>for show</em>.</p><p>Catra doesn’t turn her away for the sake of it – she does it from a very real place of fear. Thursday will be three weeks from the whole incident that prompted Catra to break through her initial resistance to friendship, but Adora has already seen Catra retreat from her a few times, sometimes in small ways and sometimes larger.</p><p>The first Saturday Adora dared to invite her, Catra came to the ranch at her request, but as if to downplay it, she was shut off and dismissive for the most part. They interacted just fine on the following Sunday and Tuesday, but on Wednesday she refused to answer Adora’s texts and almost had a panic attack when Adora reached out mentally. Adora managed to get her calm again and, knowing the fear was <em>of her</em>, retreated afterward. On Thursday, they had lunch together like nothing had happened. At that point, Catra’s fear had subsided.</p><p>Catra is trying. It takes a lot more than Adora thinks anyone else gives her credit for – both on the ranch and even amongst her own friends. Adora has felt Catra getting uncomfortable while on the phone with her friends and then progressing to panic when she reached out to check-in on her soulmate. Adora tries to balance taking care of her with pulling back and giving her space. Her solution of <em>going to sleep to give her room</em> had been a disaster she is not going to attempt again.</p><p>“Why?” Catra demands, her ears pinned back and tail tense as it twitches against the side of her chair. Adora considers how to answer that.</p><p>“I want to take you somewhere you won’t like, but the drive will be fun, and we won’t be there long. It will be about two hours for the round trip,” Adora decides. Glimmer and Bow both send her incredulous looks. Adora knows what she is doing, though, and Catra relaxes enough that she turns off her high-alert mode and snorts a laugh. If Adora just said <em>it’s a surprise</em>, Catra would have turned her down flat. Being as honest as she can is the best call.</p><p>“Way to sell it. Why do you want me to come somewhere you know I won’t like?” Catra asks her. Adora considers how to answer that without saying the truth.</p><p>“It’s out of town. It’s a long drive to make by myself,” Adora tells her. It is hard to strike the balance between <em>surprise</em> and <em>telling the truth</em>. Adora blinks in surprise when Catra pushes into her mind, almost as a show of force. Adora just stares back at her, hyper aware of Catra’s suspicion in her head. Her breath kind of wants to speed up. Is this really what Catra’s hypervigilance feels like all the time?</p><p>After a moment, Catra retreats with a sigh and shrugs, turning back to her lunch.</p><p>“Fine. But you’re picking me up and dropping me back at my apartment,” Catra asks. Adora feels her chest burst, excitement pouring through her as she nods eagerly. That is hardly a stipulation – she was already planning on it anyway – but she would happily agree to most any condition Catra imposes. Catra rolls her eyes at Adora’s eagerness, but Adora can feel the warmth in her chest.</p><p>Catra can’t hide that she likes how eager Adora is to spend time with her. At least not from Adora.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Catra shows up at the ranch without invitation or prompting on Wednesday night. She doesn’t really have a reason to be here, she just finished eating her dinner after work and couldn’t imagine spending several more hours in her apartment. She doesn’t want to seem <em>desperate</em>, but she kind of really fucking wants a hug.</p><p>She doesn’t know any other way to get it, so after half an hour of hoping Adora will reach out, she pulls on some leggings - and a crop top, mostly just to fluster Adora - and drives over to the stables. Catra has been here a few times over the last two weeks, stopping by either upon invitation or sometime during her workday. She has never been to the stables unannounced on a day she wasn’t on the ranch anyway.</p><p>If she thought Adora was startled to see her the Thursday she showed up in her suit, she had no idea of the way Adora’s brain would just <em>blank out</em> upon walking out of the tack room to find Catra leaning against the wall.</p><p>Catra has been having meditation sessions with Perfuma at least once a week, sometimes twice, and she is fairly confident she is making progress on controlling the bond, at least from her end. She was purposefully blocking Adora out so she wouldn’t pick up Catra’s <em>yearning</em> or rob Catra of experiencing this dumb-founded shock by figuring out Catra was on her way over.</p><p>“W- What-“ Adora stammers a few times, her eyes still wide. Catra can’t help but snicker, pleased by how willing Adora is to make a fool of herself. They are in the middle of leading the horses back in to the stable right now, so the other grooms that Catra tends not to interact much with are around. Adora continues to gape at her despite her subordinates being in full view, shooting her amused looks.</p><p>“I’m just here to see our son,” Catra tells her, arching a brow at Adora. With seemingly a monumental amount of effort, Adora manages to get her brain operating again after several seconds of staring at Catra. Adora nods a bit dumbly, casting her glance around the stable before realizing Melog is nowhere in sight.</p><p>“I, uh, I saw him just a bit ago. Come on, we’ll find him,” Adora promises her, still playing catchup as her brain comes back online. Catra finds herself grinning as she pushes off the wall, crossing the sweeping floor of the stable to fall in line at Adora’s side as she begins to walk, peeking her head in a few of the stalls. The daze is wearing off, a flustered blush taking permanent residence on Adora’s cheeks.</p><p>Apparently she isn’t buying the Melog excuse and she is taking Catra’s appearance as a positive. Whatever. Catra did her part selling the ruse. She <em>does</em> want to see the stray that seems to have fallen in love with her. She demanded joint custody from Adora last week in a display that made Glimmer’s Diet Coke shoot out her nose, but Catra <em>got it</em>, so she doesn’t care.</p><p>Her apartment is far too depressing to subject another creature to, and Melog is a stray used to having room to wander anyway. Catra comes and visits him at the barn. The ride to the vet had been interesting. Melog is too smart for any traps or carry cases and Catra wasn’t eager to get scratched shoving him into one. She ended up carrying him to the car in her arms. He rode to the vet in her lap while Adora tried to pretend she wasn’t <em>seething</em>. Catra, because she is a little shit, spent most of the drive cooing to Melog and scratching under his chin, only driving Adora’s jealousy higher.</p><p>Now, Catra subtly brushes against Adora’s side as she walks and Adora draws to a halt. Catra immediately fixes her with a glare and Adora hurries to begin walking, but when she next pauses outside a stall to peer inside, she cautiously raises her arm. Catra pointedly turns her head away, sniffing, but she takes the invitation she basically <em>told</em> Adora to give her, ducking beneath her arm and tucking into Adora’s side.</p><p>Catra sighs, content, as Adora continues to lead them around the stable in search of the elusive stray, this time with her arm wrapped around Catra’s shoulders. Catra actually knows exactly where Melog is – he is currently riding on Swift Wind’s back, curled up in a small ball from when Catra picked him up and dropped him in the last stall Adora would look for him in before she took up her spot against the wall.</p><p>Swift Wind isn’t fond of the barn cats. He doesn’t actively dislike them, but he also has no <em>regard</em> for them. He will stomp and kick his hooves regardless of if the cats are around him or not. The other horses don’t do that if they are aware of a cat close to them, but Swift Wind couldn’t give less of a shit – hence Melog jumping up onto his back once Catra dropped him inside. It is the safest part of Swift Wind’s stall for a cat to be.</p><p>Catra is happy to snuggle into Adora’s side as she wanders the stable, growing increasingly confused as she fails to find Melog in the stalls or any of the three wings of the stable. Eventually, she draws to a halt and looks down at Catra, eyeing where she has placed her head on Adora’s shoulder. Catra stares back at her with her best expression of wide-eyed innocence. Unfortunately, Adora is in her head and can’t be fooled so easily.</p><p>“You are way too smug. You know where he is, don’t you?” Adora asks, raising an eyebrow at Catra. Catra grins, slow and lazy, before rubbing her cheek against Adora’s shoulder.</p><p>“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she returns, purring a little when Adora flushes at her affection. Adora huffs, rolling her eyes as she tightens her arm around Catra’s shoulders. She turns them around, heading back toward the tack room in the center of the T-shaped stables.</p><p>“If you wanted <em>this</em>,” Adora squeezes her arm around Catra’s shoulder, “you could have just asked for it, you know. Give me an hour to finish up here and we can go back to my house to cuddle on the porch swing,” Adora tells her. Catra pins her ears back, hissing at the suggestion, but Adora’s step doesn’t even falter as she leads them back to the tack room. She is already getting a handle on Catra’s mood swings. Being in her head to know when she is serious helps.</p><p>She knows Catra never would have outright asked – at least not with words. Even without <em>saying</em> what she wanted, she needs an excuse as she snuggles into Adora’s side. Adora takes them back to the tack room, leading Catra over to a table with a saddle in the middle of servicing set across it. Adora drops her arm from around Catra, immediately leaving her cold, as she bends down to grab hold of a cot and pull it out from under the table. The cot has recently been decorated with a throw blanket from Adora’s house after Catra complained about how firm it was.</p><p>“An hour. I’ll be in and out. We can stargaze together once the sun sets,” Adora promises her. Catra huffs, but she drops down onto the cot and busies herself with making it comfortable. Adora waits by her side until she has settled on the blanket. Adora gives her a few long, slow pets, running her fingers through Catra’s short hair before lavishing some attention on Catra’s ears. Once she has made up for dropping her arm from Catra, she straightens and turns to work on caring for the saddle’s leather and cleaning its hardware.</p><p>Catra can admit that even if she dislikes the smell of the stable, she doesn’t mind the tack room. It still smells like horses, but it also has the strong scent of leather and care products. If the day is hot, the perpetual shade and – shitty, but still present – AC in the tack room makes it a cool oasis. In the colder mornings, its insulated walls protect it from the biting winds.</p><p>With the promise of proper cuddles later, Catra is content enough to curl up on the cot and wait. It smells comforting, like Adora and the rest of the stable, and despite being physically uncomfortable, it is still better than being back in her apartment. A few minutes after Adora has started on her work again, she makes an affronted noise and Catra slits her eye open to find Melog has slunk into the room.</p><p>She happily lifts her tail so Melog can jump up and curl up against her. Catra drapes her tail down again, this time encircling them both. Through the bond, Catra can feel Adora’s mix of affection and jealousy, and it makes her grin even as her eyes drift closed.</p><p>Adora said it would take her an hour to finish, but forty minutes later she is telling Catra they can go and pointedly lifting Melog off of her. Without prompting, she wraps her arm around Catra’s shoulders for the walk out to the car.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Adora wakes up on Thursday feeling <em>weird</em>. Not sick, but- actually, maybe? Maybe she is <em>getting</em> sick. She really hopes not, she wants to be able to go out with Catra on Saturday, but she feels tired and oddly moody. She checks her period tracker, but she isn’t due, so she settles on her immune system being busy. It doesn’t usually mess with her mood, but Adora spent plenty of time sick as a kid and teenager when she was staying up late and waking early to study for school and practice her riding.</p><p>She reluctantly goes about her duties. At lunchtime, she gets a text from Glimmer asking where she is. Adora <em>wants</em> to go - she doesn’t like missing out on any of her Catra time, even if it isn’t as rare now as it was at first - but she also doesn’t want to get anyone else sick if she is infectious. She texts back that she is going to be busy at the stables.</p><p>It is true, even if she only says it because she doesn’t want to admit that she is sick. She is feeling sluggish and tasks that are usually quick are becoming drawn out. Everything is taking longer than usual, putting her behind. She needs to finish up, and while there is plenty of room in the stables to keep her distance from the other grooms even without telling them to stay back, the same can’t be said for the round table they all eat lunch around.</p><p>Catra is sullen. Adora bites her lip and halts in the middle of moving hay, tugging off her gloves to send Catra a quick text. She isn’t going into the small ranch office, but magicats can’t catch the majority of diseases from humans, so being around Catra should be fine. She offers to drive over after work, even if their usual thing is avoiding each other on Thursday evenings.</p><p>That’s why it is an <em>offer</em>, and not a statement that she will do it. She waits, leaned against her pitchfork and catching her breath as she thinks it through. Her face flushes a bit at the thought of seeing Catra knowing in just a few hours before they will be laying down together, touching themselves and <em>each other</em> by extension. Fuck. She needs to not think about that. Usually it is easy to push down those thoughts, but apparently they are gripping her mind right now.</p><p><em>No</em>, Catra texts back. Yeah, that’s fair, considering Catra is also flustered from dirty thoughts. That is probably Adora’s fault. She puts her phone away, a bit chagrinned as she tugs back on her gloves. The inside of the gloves are rough, nothing like the softness of Catra’s fur that Adora needs to <em>stop thinking about touching</em>. She isn’t seeing Catra today and clearly that is for the best.</p><p>Adora is turned on – so is Catra – but she can ignore it and she <em>will</em>. It’s only a few more hours until they lay down together. She can last.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Catra barely makes it through dinner before Adora gets back home and there is only one thing on either of their minds. They go two rounds and then Catra takes a reluctant shower. She has been overheating off-and-on all day. It’s a bit soon after her last one for Catra to be showering again today, but she wants to brush out her coat and hopefully help herself stay cooler.</p><p>She falls into a fitful sleep afterwards. There aren’t any nightmares, but she has felt off all day. Moody and sluggish, plus the aforementioned overheating. The source of it all becomes clear when she wakes up in the morning, the sound of a car driving down the street below suddenly loud enough to wake her. Dawn hasn’t even broken yet, but Catra isn’t falling back asleep, not when she feels like this.</p><p>She groans, banging her head back against her pillow in frustration. She is turned on, her heartbeat unsteady from feeling exposed in the empty room. Her heat is here, completely unannounced. They have been so irregular for her, sometimes happening after just six months and sometimes taking <em>fourteen months,</em> that she never bothers to track them.</p><p>It isn’t good that they are so irregular, even if Catra hates dealing with them. It means she is under enough stress that her body can’t gear up for it. The heats come in the lulls where she is relaxed enough for them. Catra groans, rolling around in her bed as she tries to find some position that is comfortable, but her mattress has never been cushy. She glares at her bare walls, her fur bristling.</p><p>She has made no efforts to make this apartment her home – she doesn’t <em>like</em> it and she isn’t wasting money on it – and it doesn’t feel like a safe place to hunker down and sweat out the discomfort for a week. She felt unsafe for her first heat with Scorpia as a roommate, but now she can’t imagine going through one without her.</p><p>Scorpia always left her alone except to bring her water whether Catra had asked for it or not. She would tiptoe around the apartment, turning on subtitles and watching the TV on mute so as to not disturb Catra’s hearing that was in overdrive – along with her other senses – looking out for predators or <em>unfit mates</em>.</p><p>Society has evolved past the need for any of that shit, but her body <em>hasn’t</em>, and Catra always felt safer with Scorpia around. She wasn’t a threat – at least not after she proved she wasn’t by leaving Catra alone for her first heat – and Catra trusted her friend to help keep her safe. It was the only thing that let her senses relax a bit.</p><p>She growls as she shifts her hips and stares at her blank walls. She isn’t relaxed <em>now</em> and-</p><p>Fuck. <em>Adora</em>. Fuck. She never asked Adora what her heats were like for her, but she knows they definitely <em>affected</em> her. It always sucked putting her soulmate through this too, but Catra feels herself blushing at the idea of affecting Adora like this now that she <em>knows</em> her. This makes both of their horniness yesterday make a lot more sense. That’s really what her heat is – paranoia, muscle cramping, and an annoying amount of libido.</p><p>She hopes Adora isn’t irritated by it – or at least, that she isn’t irritated <em>with Catra</em> over it. Catra herself hates her heats, so she wouldn’t blame Adora for feeling the same, she just can’t take it when people are mad at her over things she can’t control. That was her entire childhood, being hated for doing <em>nothing</em>.</p><p>Her fur was bristling at the empty and unsafe apartment anyway, but now the worry over Adora’s reaction has set in, Catra knows she is never getting it to lie flat again. She sighs, glaring at the wall as she curls her legs in tight to herself. All she can do now is wait for Adora to wake up.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Adora wakes up before the rooster. She spends several moments suspended in confused discomfort before Catra pushes into her mind, unsure and anxious, bringing everything falling into place. Adora flushes, blinking at the ceiling as she shifts her hips experimentally. Yep, definitely experiencing the transfer-arousal characteristic of Catra’s heats. Catra is never both simultaneously turned on and anxious like this outside of them.</p><p>Adora <em>forgot about Catra’s heat</em>. Some quick math reminds her it has been ten months since the last one. Stress and the bond have been keeping them rare. Adora did research – she <em>had</em> to when she, a human, suddenly started experiencing heat symptoms alongside her soulmate. Though her body doesn’t have the biological processes to actually go into heat, it does echo some of the symptoms through the bond. Catra’s arousal, her anxiety, even the physical discomfort all transfer onto Adora.</p><p>The bond was actually their saving grace – hybrids with soulmates only have heats occasionally until they meet, but now Catra’s should come every six months like clockwork. Adora forgot this was a problem they were going to have to work out now. Through the bond, she can feel that Catra’s anxiety is high, and isn’t just the usual heat-based discomfort. She is worried about Adora’s reaction. Adora takes a slow, steadying breath and sits up in bed, willing her libido down as she reaches for her phone.</p><p>She calls Catra. There is no point drawing this out and making her more anxious when they both know what this is. It is an ungodly hour for Catra to be awake, yes, but Adora knows she already <em>is</em> and she wants to assure her soulmate. Catra doesn’t say anything when she answers her phone. Adora can feel her anxiety tying her tongue. She frowns. Catra’s heats make her anxious in general, but even ignoring her worry over Adora’s reaction, her anxiety is higher than usual.</p><p>“It’s okay. How do you feel right now?” Adora assures, hoping it will be enough for Catra to stop and assess. Some of the worry in the back of her mind eases – <em>some</em>. Adora has never felt Catra this uncomfortable during her heat, at least not when she was alone and in what should be a safe location where she can finally relax.</p><p>“Like shit. I already filled out my heat-leave form at the bank. They might call to confirm the request once business hours hit, but otherwise I’m good to stay inside for the next week,” Catra tells her. Even knowing she doesn’t have to go in to work today, Catra is still <em>so uncomfortable</em>. The significance of staying in her apartment for a week isn’t lost on Adora. She does everything she can to stay out of it, and now it is going to be the most comfortable place for her to be.</p><p><em>Most comfortable</em> is a far cry from <em>comfortable</em>. Adora tries to think over her options, but the problem is she doesn’t really know what they are.</p><p>“Okay. I can take sick leave from work. I know you’re more comfortable when I’m staying inside too, and I feel the effects as well. Probably more mild, but they’re still there. I’ll have to work this morning until Bow can wake up and come take over for me, but I can come home after that,” Adora promises Catra. Catra lets out a low grunt. She wants to argue, but she is too uncomfortable to. Adora frowns at her ceiling.</p><p>“Catra,” Adora prompts, softly. Catra says nothing. She can’t. She can no more ask Adora to stay home than she can argue that she shouldn’t. Adora sighs, deciding to just bite the bullet. “What do you need?” she asks. Catra draws in a sharp breath on the other end of the line.</p><p><em>You</em>. It comes through so clear and strong it nearly takes Adora’s breath away.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Catra doesn’t trade in guilt as a general rule, but she feels herself shrinking back as Adora picks up on her desperation.</p><p>“Catra,” Adora breathes, her voice soft. Wonder is mixed with worry. Catra winces, her ears pinning back as she shuffles a little on her mattress to curl into an even smaller ball. She has been waiting over an hour for Adora to wake up. She has had plenty of time to grow more and more uncomfortable in her apartment, her ears straining at every sound from elsewhere in the building or down on the street below.</p><p>She wants to go home and curl up in her old bed, but she sold it and Scorpia has moved in with Perfuma. There is nowhere safe for her to run to, but there is <em>someone</em>. All she has been able to think about for the last hour is the safety and contentment she felt on the morning she stayed over at Adora’s. Adora says nothing on the other end of the line, her heart bursting for several seconds.</p><p>“I’ll come over as soon as I can leave the stables, okay?” Adora tells her, voice soft and a bit tremulous, unsure if Catra really wants that. Catra thinks it over. She will probably feel more comfortable with Adora in her apartment. Letting Adora see just how sad her apartment is would probably be a bad call, but she is getting desperate. Having Adora come over might finally let her relax.</p><p>“Adora,” Catra whispers. For a moment, they both are silent. Catra shifts her hips experimentally, ears twitching at the gasp Adora releases in response. “Are you sure you’re comfortable coming over?” she asks, her point about her current state <em>made</em>. Adora releases a soft sound, almost a whimper, that has Catra flushing. She forgot Adora would be in the same condition.</p><p>“Yeah, I’m sure,” she responds, a little breathy. Catra lets out a slow breath. She nods. Adora may not be able to see it, but she can feel Catra’s resolve. For a few seconds, Catra just lets herself soak in the fact that Adora is going to <em>be here</em> and her apartment is going to feel safe again. The thought causes a burst of both affection and arousal in Adora.</p><p>“Really?” Catra questions, a bit surprised. Adora sputters a bit, clearly flustered, but the arousal certainly doesn’t dim as Catra purrs her amusement. Fuck, she is so turned on, and she is going to be seeing Adora <em>soon</em>.</p><p>“It’s hot when you trust me, okay?” Adora defends, her voice high. It seems to be a battle to get the words out, but hearing Adora so flustered for her has her squeezing her thighs together. Her heat doesn’t make her <em>sex-crazed</em> or anything, but it does kick her libido into high gear, and she is turned on right now. She didn’t want to do anything to take care of it before Adora woke up and risk her waking up in the middle of Catra getting off without consenting to it beforehand.</p><p>Now, all she can think about is Adora. She can feel her soulmate’s arousal, hear her voice, know that soon she is going to <em>touch</em> her. Catra might still be in control, but she is going to make a damn fool of herself if she doesn’t get off before Adora comes over. On the other end of the line, Adora coughs awkwardly, similar thoughts occurring to her.</p><p>“Want to do this before I head out to the stables?” Adora asks, her voice quiet, but Catra knows the real question is if she wants to do this <em>at all</em> – if she wants Adora to join her, because she is turned on enough Catra seriously doubts she could resist once Catra started. Catra hums her affirmation, dropping her hand to rest on her lower stomach. Her ears twitch when Adora gasps in response, picking up on either the movement or the spike of arousal from knowing how <em>close</em> she is to relief.</p><p>“Catra?” Adora asks, turned on but <em>unsure</em>, as Catra begins to lazily scratch her fingers through her fur trail. She purrs, letting her eyes slip closed. Her fingertips are so <em>close</em> now as she scratches them in a rolling motion downward. Adora, on the other end of the line, whimpers softly. “Are you sure?” she asks, breathless, apparently taking this long to pick up Catra’s intent despite being in her <em>head</em>.</p><p>The breathless excitement blossoming in Adora is all the permission Catra needs to give her reply. She slips her fingers all the way down, tracing them over her folds. Adora gasps, her own hand flying down but not touching, not <em>yet</em>, as Catra rubs the pads of her fingers against her entrance, moaning softly. Her body wants it so <em>badly</em>. She has a toy that is pretty much exclusively reserved for her heats, and though she <em>wants</em> it right now, what she really needs is just to get off with Adora.</p><p>This part is all on her heat. She was always happy to fuck herself before, but now that she has actually met her soulmate, she can’t get Adora out of her head. Her entire heat is straining towards her, telling Catra she needs <em>Adora</em>, not just quick release.</p><p>“<em>Catra</em>,” Adora breathes, all desire and frustration as she holds herself back, <em>waiting</em>. Catra can feel Adora’s fingers twitching through the bond. She moans softly as she presses in with two fingers, Adora immediately gasping in response. She breaks, her hand flying down to touch herself. Catra keens softly, so worked up after an hour that she is soaked already. She plunges her fingers in and out, twitching her hips into the movement as Adora touches her clit.</p><p>It is like Adora is touching her – like <em>Catra</em> is fucking Adora. There are sensations and emotions swirling between them, but this time the call is letting her hear every one of Adora’s pants and moans until she can’t tell where one of them ends and the other begins. Catra is making small, desperate noises herself now as she pathetically grinds down on her own fingers, adding a third after two feels like <em>nothing</em> in the face of how turned on she is. Adora keeps panting her name. Catra clasps her free hand over her mouth, trying to hold down her sounds. She is used to needing to be <em>quiet</em> during her heat.</p><p>“<em>No</em>, kitten. Let me hear you,” Adora orders, her voice shaking and needy. Adora is so far gone it is hardly an order, but Catra mewls and <em>follows it</em>. She is utterly lost in the tidal wave of desperation as she flings her hand away, fisting her hand in the sheets and rutting her hips useless down onto her own fingers and the phantom of Adora’s touch.</p><p>“<em>Adora</em>,” she whimpers out. The answering spike of heat from Adora is enough to push her over. Catra keens as she comes, still writhing down onto her fingers for several seconds as Adora doesn’t let up the movement of her own fingers until she is joining her. As Adora comes, Catra collapses back down onto her mattress, panting and purring.</p><p>For several moments, neither of them says anything. They are both panting, endorphins flooding through them as the desperation of the last <em>hour</em> finally subsides. Catra’s purr could vibrate the mattress, but she doesn’t care about how loud it is. It is causing affection to flood through Adora alongside the hormones.</p><p>“You alright?” Adora asks, her voice a bit sleepy. Catra makes a soft noise in return, a weak chirrup as she nuzzles down into her sheets. Her bed still isn’t comfortable, but it is passable again. She feels <em>normal</em>, the desperation burned off for both of them.</p><p>“I’ve got to head to the stables. I’ll try to keep myself as solitary as I can, okay?” Adora tells her, despite how she is still breathing heavy. Catra pictures her soulmate naked, laid out in her bed and panting, her chest rising and falling with every breath. Even with her libido satisfied, it is a good image.</p><p>“Yeah. Gonna try to nap,” Catra returns, her words rumbling with her purr. She naps a lot during her heat. Pretty much all she does is nap, be stressed, and get off, actually. Also eat. She is hungry as fuck right now, a gnawing sensation that was largely unimportant before suddenly pushing to forefront of her priorities.</p><p>Okay, new plan. Eat breakfast and then nap while Adora is out at the stables.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Adora has experienced five of Catra’s heats now, ever since her first back when she was twenty. They have never felt like <em>this</em>. Sure, Adora felt horny because her soulmate was projecting horniness into her head, she felt uncomfortable because <em>Catra</em> was uncomfortable, but the symptoms were less intense, and she never had them leading up to the start of Catra’s heat either.</p><p>It seems that deepening the bond led to more side effects. Adora gets ready dreading being at the stables. She isn’t really worried about being out in the open, not like Catra gets anyway, but she just wants to be <em>home</em>, or at least wherever Catra is. She texts Glimmer that Catra is sick and she needs time off too because it’s making her feel like shit, and then she gets to work going about her duties.</p><p>Catra tries to nap. Adora feels her frustration when it doesn’t work – she is too uncomfortable. Adora is relieved when she gets the text from Bow that he’s awake and heading to the stable to take over. Catra is laying in her bed, wide awake with her tail lashing. She immediately texts Adora to come over, which Adora promises she will after she stops at her house to change.</p><p>Her clothes are dirty, but she changes into loungewear mostly on the hope that Catra will want to cuddle, and then she loads into her pickup and drives into town. She doesn’t know what Catra wants from this, really. For Adora to just be around, or maybe to actually wrap up in each other. Maybe cuddles are too much to hope for, but Adora will go along with whatever level of contact Catra asks her for.</p><p>Catra texts Adora her unit number right after Adora pulls up to the complex. Adora hurries to the second floor, knocking lightly on the door to B6. Her heart is suddenly pounding – probably because Catra’s is too. They both want to see each other – Catra outright needs it, too anxious on her own – but Catra is worried.</p><p>The part of her brain that worries about danger from her loved ones is mostly silent with her heat driving her towards the exact people that usually make her nervous, but <em>mostly</em> isn’t <em>fully</em>. Catra is standing on the other side of the door and making no move to open it. She is afraid of what Adora will do once inside her apartment.</p><p>“Can you hear me?” Adora asks, her voice low. It isn’t a whisper, but she hopes pitching it down will keep Catra’s neighbours from overhearing. Catra’s breath catches and Adora gets all the answer she needs. “I’m not going to touch you. Not like that. I want to cuddle you, but I’m not going to ask you for anything. If you ask <em>me</em>, I’ll say no. I don’t want to ruin what we have,” Adora assures her, placing a hand lightly on the door.</p><p>Catra’s heart is pounding. There is a cocktail of conflicting emotions within her, but after a moment, the doorknob gently rattles. Adora takes a step back, letting her hand fall as Catra opens her door and peeks out at her.</p><p>Adora’s heart might <em>burst</em>. Catra is wearing a loose set of lounge shorts that inform Adora that she has <em>stripes on her thighs</em>. She doesn’t have a shirt or bra on, her top covered by the cardigan she stole from Adora a full month ago. It is only half-buttoned, and now Adora also has the knowledge that Catra’s coat is extra fluffy over her heart. She wants to touch the fluffy patch, but she absolutely is not going to.</p><p>What she <em>is</em> going to do is stop ogling her friend. Catra is mostly-naked, but that is far from an invitation. When Adora meets her eyes, Catra looks a mix of anxious and excited. Her eyes are blown out, watching Adora intently as her tail lashes behind her, movements stiff. Adora wants to move forward, to pull Catra into the embrace she has been craving all morning, but she stands her ground. Catra is still unsure.</p><p>After a long moment, Catra blows out a breath and steps aside, jerking her head back to invite Adora into the apartment. Adora steps through the door carefully, avoiding getting too close to Catra. She is momentarily distracted from her soulmate when she looks around the room she is confronted with.</p><p>The living room is about the size of Adora’s bedroom, and completely empty but for a yoga mat in the middle of the floor and a counter stool shoved up against the kitchen peninsula. A laptop is set up on the counter in front of the stool, informing Adora that Catra also doesn’t have a desk. Behind her, Catra scowls, seeming to get over her caution in the face of Adora taking in her apartment.</p><p>“I told you I don’t like it here,” Catra tells her, moving forward to <em>plaster</em> herself against Adora’s back. Adora squeaks as Catra’s arms wrap around her waist, surprised by her soulmate suddenly latching on. Apparently when her barriers break, it is in a flood, because a moment later Catra is wrapped completely around her back, nuzzling against the side of Adora’s head and tickling the back of her neck with her fur as she purrs. Relief floods through them both at the contact.</p><p>“You have a bed to cuddle on?” Adora asks, because sofa is clearly <em>out</em>. She worries that them getting into bed together will have the exact connotations Catra is concerned by, but she needs to get her arms around Catra, and that definitely isn’t happening on the small stool. Catra nods against her shoulder, reluctantly pulling away from Adora to lead her to her bed.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Catra looks like a disaster and she knows it. She is barely dressed, but it is the only thing she could stand to wear. Adora finds her apartment sad – go figure, so does Catra – but she doesn’t say anything about it as Catra tugs her down onto the mattress on the floor and climbs on top of her. She was worried about the transfer symptoms, combined with Adora wanting them to be <em>something</em>, leading her to jump Catra after too long, but even with Catra half-naked, they both just want each other. Sex isn’t at the forefront of either of their minds as Adora wraps Catra up in her arms.</p><p>“I can’t believe you complained about the cot. It is softer than this thing,” Adora tells her. Catra grumbles, hissing a little as she kneads at Adora’s sides. She wriggles against her chest, getting more comfortable. She shouldn’t hiss at Adora – she is the one enduring the lumpy bargain mattress while Catra lays on <em>her</em> – but she has been dealing with the discomfort for weeks and she isn’t <em>happy</em> about it. She didn’t exactly have much of a chance to try it out before she was forced to buy it or sleep on the floor.</p><p>Adora appeases her by raising a hand to scratch behind her ears. Catra relaxes against her, a purr rumbling in her chest once more. She nuzzles in against Adora’s shoulder, scent-marking her but who <em>cares</em> as long as Adora isn’t stopping her. Adora loves it, drawing in a sharp breath as her heart sets on fire. She redoubles her efforts on Catra’s ears, massaging at the bases with both hands until Catra is utterly <em>boneless</em>.</p><p>She was worried about Adora coming over, especially as it approached, but it turns out having Adora with her is just what she needed. Her senses are still hyper-alert, aware of every slight movement in the units around her or down on the streets below, but her fur is no longer bristling, and she feels like <em>herself</em> again now Adora is here.</p><p>A clingy, needy version of herself, but still herself. She sighs in content, chirruping a little amongst the rolls of her purr. Adora coos beneath her and Catra isn’t even annoyed at her for it. Adora has dropped everything to come over, and it <em>scared</em> Catra that she would only do it if she had ulterior motivations, but now she seems more than content to let Catra cuddle into her neck and purr.</p><p>Alright, Adora is getting <em>something</em> out of this, and it’s petting. Catra has a lot of exposed fur right now, and though Adora is completely avoiding anywhere that could be classified as inappropriate, Catra is not only allowing her soulmate to pet her, but luxuriating in the feeling of Adora’s hands running over her. Adora loves getting to feel Catra’s coat beneath her hands as much as Catra enjoys being pet.</p><p>It feels like heaven, almost exactly like that small oasis of affection she experienced the night she stayed over. The only thing still ruining it is their surroundings. Catra’s apartment is a far cry from the light-filled coziness of Adora’s bedroom, and her neighbour to the right keeps <em>coughing</em>. They are home sick from work – Catra listened to the entire phone call they had with their boss this morning, shortly before the bank called to check on her and confirm her heat leave request.</p><p>This building has never felt safe, or like home, but every second her mind has not been occupied with thoughts of<em> Adora</em> today, she has instead felt unease and discomfort at her surroundings. It is better with Adora around – <em>so</em> much better – but she still isn’t looking forward to a week of this discomfort.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>They cuddle until lunch. Catra growls and hisses when Adora prods her about eating, but she isn’t upset at Adora, she just doesn’t want to stop crushing in against her chest. They need to eat though – Catra especially, considering hunger increases during the heat cycle – so Adora eventually manages to prod Catra into getting up.</p><p>Catra sulks at her kitchen counter, uncomfortable and just wanting <em>contact</em>, while Adora cobbles together a meal from a combination of new cooking and leftovers in Catra’s fridge. Catra is tired, but even with Adora over, she hasn’t been able to fall asleep.</p><p>“It’s too loud,” Catra admits, hunching over her plate. Adora blinks at her. The mood effects of the heat transfer through the bond, but things like Catra’s senses running in overdrive <em>can’t</em>. Adora hasn’t heard anything all morning. Catra continues to sulk as she finishes her food. Adora can feel how tired she is after waking up so early. She frowns as Catra tucks into her side upon finishing her food.</p><p>“What can I do?” Adora asks. Her back is starting to ache from the way they have been laying together, so she can only imagine how much worse it must be for Catra after sleeping in that bed for so long. No wonder she wants comfort when she is at the stables. Catra is reluctant, just nuzzling into her side for a long moment. She wants, but she also doesn’t want to <em>say</em> what she wants. She is unsure, like she has been off-and-on all morning.</p><p>“… I want to sleep,” Catra admits, reluctantly. Adora blinks down at her. That is true, but it isn’t the whole truth. Catra still doesn’t want to say it outright. Catra doesn’t look away from where she is busying herself with rubbing her cheek against Adora’s shoulder. Her ears are pinned back as she waits for it to click for Adora.</p><p>It doesn’t. After several seconds, Catra sighs and shifts her head up to look Adora in the face, her eyes pleading.</p><p>“I don’t want to stay here,” she says, and-</p><p><em>Oh</em>. Catra isn’t talking about taking nap, and she isn’t talking about just going over to Adora’s house for one either. Adora doesn’t know how long Catra is thinking of staying, but she is worried about <em>packing</em>, so she can guess it is for the rest of her heat. Adora’s hand shakes a little as she raises it to cup Catra’s cheek, holding her close against her shoulder and softly stroking her fingertips along her cheek.</p><p>“Okay. I’d love to have you over,” Adora promises her, leaning down to nuzzle against Catra’s hair. Catra’s entire body goes limp as the worry seeps out of her.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Adora helps her pack and doesn’t question it when Catra shoves a week’s worth of clothes into her bag. Despite outside being far too bright, Catra finds herself relaxing as soon as she is in Adora’s passenger seat, her bag and laptop on the floor of the pickup. Catra tucks her legs up underneath her, curling in a ball and letting her eyes drift closed as they drive. There is plenty of road noise, but it isn’t the kind of sound that is distracting and for the first time all day, Catra feels relaxed.</p><p>They haven’t even made it to Adora’s house yet, but her car is already a space so thoroughly <em>Adora’s</em> it feels safe. Catra’s own apartment doesn’t feel like hers, but the pickup belongs to Adora, so it belongs to Catra as well. Adora picks up on the thought in some capacity, grinning stupidly as she drives them up the long dirt road leading to her house.</p><p>Adora carries in Catra’s things for her. When Catra tries to protest that Adora needs to unlock the door, Adora sends her a sheepish look from the other side of the car.</p><p>“Maybe I was so focused on seeing you I didn’t lock it,” she admits, cheeks blazing as she quickly ducks her head down into the backseat to retrieve Catra’s things. Catra flushes in turn, quickly turning and marching up the porch steps so she doesn’t have to acknowledge that. True to her word, Adora’s front door is unlocked when she tries it.</p><p>Catra breathes in deeply when she steps into the living room, all her muscles relaxing as she is thoroughly surrounded by <em>Adora</em>. French country is far from Catra’s taste, but in Adora’s house, it is <em>comforting</em>. The white shiplap on the walls is charming - and bright, but it feels <em>happy</em> rather than <em>overwhelming</em>.</p><p>Catra makes her way to the bedroom as Adora climbs the porch steps. She catches herself purring the moment her eyes land on the fluffy duvet. Catra doesn’t hesitate to crawl into the heavenly bed. By the time Adora makes it to the bedroom, Catra is already curled up in the covers, her head resting on the soft pillow and her purr rumbling as she kneads absently.</p><p>Adora lets out a short sound of delight at seeing Catra curled up, disappearing into the closet to drop off Catra’s bag before she can grumble at her for it. A moment later, Adora reemerges from the closet and crawls into the bed behind Catra, wrapping her up in her arms. Catra wriggles, settling in until she is comfortable and almost immediately beginning to drift off. She is surrounded by nothing but Adora, warmth, and softness. The anxiety is gone, replaced by rumbling contentment.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Catra feels a lot better after they nap together, and for the afternoon things just feel like an average day. Sure, this is a long time for them to be hanging out, but Catra’s body is no longer protesting aside from some muscle soreness, so Adora feels normal by extension. She helps Catra unpack and she hangs up her clothes for her so she doesn’t have to strain.</p><p>“Why don’t you have a <em>system</em>?” Catra demands, scowling at the closet as Adora hangs all her clothes up on the end on the clothing rod. Adora blinks at her, surprised, before she turns to look at the closet.</p><p>“I do? Everything is divided up by purpose. Formal clothes on this end, transitioning into casual and then athletic wear, followed by work clothes. It keeps anything that is delicate from touching something with fire-resistant coating or anything like that,” Adora says, gesturing to the various sections of her clothes. She put Catra’s clothes – all casual or loungewear – at the end after her formal clothes. Catra frowns, seemingly not <em>approving</em> of the system, but she is distracted by the doorbell ringing.</p><p>Catra yelps, all her fur standing on end and her tail puffing out as she gives a small jump. Her surprise also startles Adora, but it is kind of a <em>relief</em>. If Catra has relaxed enough that she wasn’t listening for someone to approach, then she must really be feeling better. Actually sleeping does wonders, it turns out. Adora places a hand on her shoulder, sending her an encouraging smile as Catra grumbles and looks away, her tail lashing.</p><p>“I’ll be right back,” she promises Catra, squeezing lightly before letting go. Catra follows her as she leaves the closet, but she stops just inside the doorway to the living room, glaring across it at Adora’s front door. Adora chuckles, crossing the space and opening her door to find Glimmer on her porch. Adora blinks at the Tupperware in her hand before looking up to make eye contact with her friend.</p><p>“You know <em>I’m</em> not sick, right?” she asks, surprised. Glimmer huffs, rolling her eyes as she pushes past Adora to enter her house. She opens her mouth to reply, but draws to a halt when the bedroom door quickly slams shut. Glimmer blinks at it before turning her head to give Adora an owlish look. Adora shifts uncomfortably, still holding her front door open, although all she is letting in now is the warm evening air.</p><p>“That was Catra, wasn’t it?” Glimmer asks. Adora nods awkwardly, reaching one hand up to scratch at the back of her neck. Glimmer looks back at the closed bedroom door for a moment before turning and <em>eyeing</em> Adora. “You don’t seem like you feel sick,” she accuses, her eyes narrowing. Adora flushes.</p><p>“She has been feeling better since after lunch. I brought her over and we’ve been napping,” Adora says. She doesn’t want to tell Glimmer anything that could make Catra uncomfortable, but she also doesn’t want Glimmer to think she was <em>playing hooky</em> or something. She has never skipped a day of work without running a fever or sporting an injury before and she doesn’t want anyone accusing Catra of being a bad influence. Glimmer sweeps her eyes over Adora, taking in her state before eyeing the door into the bedroom.</p><p>“She’s not sick, is she?” Glimmer asks, apparently <em>putting it together</em>. Adora has complained to Glimmer before about the transfer symptoms of Catra’s heat. From the bedroom, Adora hears Catra’s hiss echo through the door. Glimmer snorts. “Well, <em>be safe</em>, I guess, and I made you soup,” Glimmer tells Adora, holding out the Tupperware container. Adora flushes, taking it quickly from Glimmer’s hands.</p><p>“We’re not <em>doing anything</em>. Glimmer, you know I wouldn’t,” Adora hisses to her. Glimmer pauses, her expression softening a bit. She nods, glancing back to the door into Adora’s bedroom.</p><p>“I know. Can I assume you two will need the next week off?” Glimmer asks. Adora nods, a bit sheepishly. In the bedroom, Catra growls, though it is distant and faint. Glimmer glances at the door, her brows climbing, and takes that as her cue to leave. She doesn’t go without getting in one last jab, though.</p><p>“Let me know if you need condoms!” Glimmer calls over her shoulder, cackling as Catra hisses from the bedroom. She is quick to flee down the porch steps, and Adora closes the door just in case Catra gets the idea to come darting out of the bedroom.</p><p>She doesn’t. Glimmer drives off in her jeep as Adora puts the soup in the fridge and returns to the bedroom, finding Catra curled into a ball at the foot of the bed and sulking. Adora reaches down, petting her ears and causing Catra to huff. She wants to stay annoyed and that is hard to do when Adora is giving her attention.</p><p>“Want chicken soup for dinner?” she asks Catra. After a begrudging moment, Catra sighs and nods.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Catra, essentially, <em>moves in</em>. She eats dinner with Adora, curls up to watch TV with her on the couch, and falls into bed with her that night. The part of her mind that usually screams <em>danger</em> has been effectively neutered by her heat driving her towards Adora. Catra is turned on again, and if she was back at her place in the city she would get off now, but she doesn’t want Adora to leave the bed. She can calm her body, falling asleep curled up at Adora’s side.</p><p>In the morning, Catra wakes to sunshine and comfort again. Adora tries to get up when she hears the rooster crowing and Catra climbs on top of her, octopussing around her soulmate until she has a giggling Adora trapped beneath her. Is she turned on? Yes, but she doesn’t care. This is so much better than rutting into her hand back in her sad apartment.</p><p>Catra nuzzles Adora, marking her. Adora finds it sweet, humming in contentment beneath her until the comfort of the bed and warmth of the cuddle drags them back into sleep again. When they wake up for the second time, Catra enters the conscious world purring - when she wakes up back in her apartment, she does it groaning and hissing as she searches for her phone to turn off the blaring alarm. She certainly doesn’t laugh her ass off during breakfast, but that is because she – unlike Adora – knows how to make poached eggs.</p><p>Adora didn’t <em>tell</em> her she didn’t know how when she asked Catra how she would like her eggs, she just tried to push on after a brief and indiscreet google. Catra ends up making them herself, showing Adora every step only <em>a bit</em> condescendingly. It is fun, even when she eats Adora’s mangled attempt for the exclusive reason to make fun of it.</p><p>“What do you call this texture, shoe insole?” Catra asks, lifting her eyebrows as she takes another bite and pulls a face. Adora flushes and rolls her eyes, but she is trying not to laugh too.</p><p>The rest of the day is like that, warm moments and entirely too much clinginess as they putter around the house. Adora asked to take her out on Saturday, but they both agree they aren’t making any trips out until next weekend. They push it off, agreeing <em>not today</em> with the tentative date of next Saturday instead.</p><p>By midday, Catra is turned on enough that she is starting to get grouchy despite the peacefulness of the afternoon, so Adora sends her to the bedroom while she stays on her couch. Somehow it still isn’t <em>awkward</em>, even after they both listen to the other sighing their name through the door.</p><p>“This might be the most relaxed my heat has ever been,” Catra muses as she tucks into Adora’s side that night. Adora yawns, nodding a little in acknowledgement as she turns to wrap her arms around Catra.</p><p>“It’s normal for magicats to have it all calm down when they’re around their soulmate. One of the bonuses,” Adora mumbles sleepily. Catra blinks into the night air, twisting a little in Adora’s arms to look over her shoulder at her. Adora squints at her, confused.</p><p>“How do you know that?” Catra asks, because <em>she</em> didn’t know that. Granted, there wasn’t a lot of hybrid education at her predominantly human high school, and especially not specific to magicats. They are rare as hell these days. They primarily lived underground, but industrial mining on the surface led to the cavern collapsing, burying the magicats, their literature, and their <em>knowledge</em> under piles of rubble.</p><p>For the most part, the only magicats to survive were already living in the colony on the surface. They are scarce now, and unless you are specifically seeking knowledge about them, you aren’t likely to stumble across much. Most of what Catra knows is from the culture shared amongst the hybrid species who <em>haven’t</em> suffered a genocide by corporate negligence. Magicat numbers on the surface have managed to stay steady, but they never <em>recovered</em>.</p><p>“I’ve done a lot of research on magicats over the years,” Adora explains, shrugging and using the movement to draw Catra closer in, nuzzling her as she does so. Catra trills before she can stop herself, but it is a <em>surprise</em>, alright.</p><p>“Why?” she has to ask. Adora frowns. Yes, Catra shouldn’t have to ask, but she still needs to hear Adora say it rather than just assuming.</p><p>“Because I knew you were one and I wanted to understand my soulmate? Catra, you’re the first magicat I’ve ever <em>met</em>,” Adora tells her, clearly embarrassed by the admission. Catra turns in her arms to properly face her, her eyes wide and breath coming a bit short. She knows her awe is obvious, despite having known the reason long before Adora said it. Adora flushes, but she looks hopeful.</p><p>“I just didn’t want to fuck up when I finally met you,” Adora admits, quietly, cheeks still blazing. Catra’s heart is <em>pounding</em>. She tries to come up with something to say but she <em>can’t</em>. Not even Scorpia knew anything about magicats outside of what Catra told her about herself. <em>Not even Catra</em> knows that much about magicats. She was raised by humans – and elves, which are basically the same thing.</p><p>Luckily, Catra doesn’t need to say anything. Adora feels her appreciation, smiling softly as she tucks Catra into her chest and then <em>drops a kiss into her hair</em>. Catra purrs, unsure if she is shivering or just vibrating from the sound. It doesn’t matter. When she nudges up against Adora, Adora does it again, running her hands up and down Catra’s back as she does so.</p><p>“You’ve always been important to me, Catra. I didn’t want to accidentally hurt you,” Adora tells her. Part of Catra wants to ask about <em>purposefully</em>. She doesn’t. If these last two days have proven anything to her, it is that Adora is willing to drop everything to come rushing to her side, even when she can get by without it.</p><p>Catra has always been important to her friends, but she has never felt like somebody’s <em>first priority</em> before. She swallows, her throat feeling dry. It is just from all the noises she has been making since her heat hit. Catra tucks her face into Adora’s neck, closing her eyes. She breathes her soulmate in, forcing herself to focus on the comfort she feels in the moment and not the cavalcade of emotions within her chest.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Catra, on her magicat period: Could this be love?<br/>Catra, grabbing hold of the wheel from her hormones and doing her damnedest to crash the car: No!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Jockeying (for time)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Modern Etheria has better disability shit, but also if the choices a boss are presented are a) a week of pay with no work as mandated to be offered by inclusion laws or b) a week of pay working remotely, they’re gonna pick the second, so it is pretty easy for Catra to go remote.<br/>Chapter count has been added, but it is tentative and subject to change.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Adora wakes up on Monday morning to Catra grooming her. She has been doing it occasionally ever since she started staying over, but Adora is never going to stop shivering at the sensation of Catra’s rough tongue and smiling at the sounds of her purr rolling unevenly as she lavishes Adora’s collarbones with attention.</p><p>“Not a word,” Catra orders, drawing to a halt upon realizing Adora is awake. Adora dutifully presses her lips together, though she can’t fight the smile pulling at the corners of her mouth.</p><p>“I’m silent,” she points out. Catra narrows her eyes and drops her head to Adora’s chest, sighing softly and wriggling as she gets herself comfortable again.</p><p>“Your thoughts are loud,” Catra returns, but she drags her cheek against Adora’s shoulder, leaving a scent mark there. Adora turns her head to squint over at her clock. It is just past sunrise. She sighs, wrapping her arms around Catra’s shoulders and holding her tight for a moment, trying to squeeze out a few last moments of affection before she is forced to get up.</p><p>“I’ve got to get ready,” Adora tells her, regretfully. Catra lets out a sad <em>mewl</em>, quickly burying her face in Adora’s shoulder as if to muffle the sound. Adora blinks at her in shock. “Are you not feeling up to it anymore?” she asks, reaching up to pet Catra’s ears. Catra sighs, her breath puffing hot against Adora’s skin.</p><p>“No, I feel fine. Just don’t want to get up,” Catra admits in a mumble. They agreed last night that as long as they take things easy and stick together, Catra’s heat has been light enough that they can return to work. Catra’s tail started lashing at the mere thought of going back to her apartment, but she emailed her boss about working remotely for the rest of her heat leave. She has a laptop, the tack room has an outlet for her charger, and Adora can focus on duties that keep her nearby to Catra for the next few days.</p><p>“I’ll make you poached eggs?” Adora tries to cajole Catra into getting up. Catra snorts, sending her a look that makes her doubt on that clear. Okay, Adora fucked up when she made them before, but it was her <em>first try</em>. Now she has Catra’s instructions, she is sure she can do it.</p><p>“Learn to cook something else,” Catra orders her, but she sighs and reluctantly lifts herself off Adora. Adora ruffles her ears, causing Catra to squeak and glare daggers at her, but her cheeks are blazing. She is far from <em>displeased</em> by the gesture.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Catra was nervous about leaving Adora’s house, but it really has been fine. Adora ordered the other grooms to fuck off from the tack room and Catra set up at one of the tables inside with Melog in her lap. Adora has been sticking to the room or at least nearby, and if one of her subordinates comes wandering over for instructions, she quickly ushers them away to give them directions <em>away</em> from Catra.</p><p>Her senses are on alert again now she is out of the house, but the noise of horses moving in their stalls doesn’t disturb her work. It isn’t anything like when she was in her apartment. The incident with her landlady shouting her business left a sour taste in her mouth for the entire apartment block, and she never liked it to start with. She always saw it as a temporary inconvenience she had to endure for her career.</p><p>The stables don’t feel like that – they feel safe. They are Adora’s space, and though Catra’s heat symptoms have largely evaporated since she began hunkering down at Adora’s, anywhere that falls under <em>Adora’s territory</em> is comforting to her. She worries that if she goes back to her own apartment all the discomfort that made her miserable on Friday morning will come flooding back.</p><p>She doesn’t mind working out of the tack room. It doesn’t have the bank’s incredible AC, but it has Adora and Melog. Catra gets to cuddle her cat as she works, and Adora keeps coming up to hug her or pet her ears. Catra has just finished sending her last email before the bank’s lunch hits when her ears twitch at a familiar high-pitched voice calling out for Adora. Catra turns, watching Adora pause outside of the door to the tack room.</p><p>“Glimmer! What are you doing here?” Adora calls back, grinning as she opens her arms wide. A moment later, Glimmer steps into view, letting Adora wrap her up in a hug. Catra’s fur bristles, but she manages to stop herself from growling. She is in control and she is not letting her heat make her <em>territorial</em>. Unfortunately, she doesn’t need to actually make a sound for Adora to pick up on her displeasure, and she quickly lets go of Glimmer, turning to shoot Catra an apologetic look.</p><p>The movement draws Glimmer’s attention to her. Glimmer blinks at her in surprise. Catra pins her ears back, her tail thudding uncertainly against the side of the stool. She called Glimmer to tell her she was giving remote working a shot for the week, but she didn’t say she was going to do it out of the stable. She really doesn’t want Glimmer questioning why Catra is able to work from here but not the ranch office.</p><p>Glimmer doesn’t question anything to her face. Instead she gets a strange look on her face and turns to Adora.</p><p>“A word?” she asks. Catra’s heart sinks.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Adora leads them just far enough from the tack room that it is plausible Catra can’t hear them, but she should be able to still pick up on the murmur of their voices. She doesn’t want to leave Catra alone for too long, but she knows that look, and it’s the <em>lecture</em> one.</p><p>“Catra never left, did she?” Glimmer asks. Adora shifts a bit uncomfortably. She doesn’t know why Glimmer thought she would have, but she had also purposefully avoided mentioning that Catra has been sleeping her bed ever since Friday. No one came over to visit her after Glimmer figured it out, anticipating her sweating out the transfer symptoms for the next week and wanting privacy.</p><p><em>Transfer symptoms</em> hasn’t really been a problem except for some added horniness over the weekend. Catra is clearly having some biological instinct effects, but those can’t transfer. This heat has been the easiest one they have ever dealt with, even if the first morning was rough when they were apart. Adora quietly suspects that this heat would have been <em>especially</em> miserable if Catra had chosen to sweat it out alone in her apartment. She definitely isn’t telling Glimmer that though. She just shakes her head.</p><p>“Don’t make jokes about it, okay? She’s uncomfortable at her apartment and it’s too loud for her to sleep there with her senses in high gear. We’ve been making such good progress. I don’t want us to backslide,” she tells Glimmer, trying not to seem like she’s begging, but she kind of <em>is</em>. Catra reaches out and then withdraws – it has been a fairly consistent pattern – but for the last few days they have been pushing miles ahead of where they were before with no backsliding.</p><p>“Adora. You’re <em>living</em> together now?” Glimmer asks. Adora can’t tell if she is impressed or disappointed. Adora pouts, shoving her hands in her pockets as she becomes aware of Catra standing from her make-shift desk, straining to understand their conversation.</p><p>“It’s just for the week, okay? She’s more comfortable when I’m around,” Adora defends. Glimmer narrows her eyes. She isn’t buying it, but it is <em>true</em>. Would Adora happily move Catra into her house permanently? Yes, it is kind of all she wants, but she is aware of how Catra’s walls are going to come back up once her hormones are no longer bringing them down. After a moment, Glimmer gets a spark in her eye that Adora has learned to fear. It is the only warning she gets that something terrible is about to come out of Glimmer’s mouth.</p><p>“So, are you having <em>kitty time</em> in person now?” Glimmer asks her with a cocked eyebrow, far too loudly. Adora feels her blood turn to ice, her back stiffening in response to Catra utterly <em>stilling</em> through the bond. She definitely heard that. Adora swallows as she turns her head and watches Catra come stalking out of the doorway to the tack room that she was lingering in.</p><p>“<em>Excuse me</em>?” she demands once she is in earshot, her eyes narrowing, tail lashing, and fur just short of bristling. Adora quickly raises her hands and waves them <em>stop</em>, shaking her head as she does so.</p><p>“Glimmer knows we always took time for each other on Wednesday nights, but Kitty is just what I used to call you! It started when I was four and didn’t know your name. I didn’t mean anything by it,” Adora rushes to explain. She has <em>not</em> told anyone what they do during kitty time. The most she has told Glimmer about is the time they stargazed through the bond, but that wasn’t even on a Wednesday.</p><p>Glimmer and Bow just thought it was sweet, them both taking time to be together mentally since they couldn’t do it in person. Glimmer was trying to make a point about how they’re getting close, but Adora knows what it must sound like from Catra’s end. She doesn’t want Catra to say too much and then give it away thinking Adora already <em>told</em>.</p><p>Catra stops, blinking at her in surprise. After a moment, she looks over at Glimmer, who looks a bit surprised, but merely shrugs. Catra’s fur at least lies flat as she straightens up again. Her tail is still twitching, but that could mean a lot of things, and though she definitely feels <em>exasperated</em>, she at least doesn’t seem angry anymore. She can feel Adora’s panic to assure her it wasn’t like that, and it is enough to convince her for now. Catra glances at her again before turning to face Glimmer.</p><p>“I need to report racial harassment in the workplace,” she says, completely deadpan. Adora snorts, a bit relieved, as Glimmer blinks in surprise at her.</p><p>“She’s joking,” Adora informs her. Catra appears completely serious, but Adora can <em>feel</em> her amusement. She thinks Adora is stupid for coming up with such an imaginative nickname, but as long as she isn’t mad then Adora doesn’t care.</p><p>“No, I’m not. She’s just covering her own ass,” Catra says, <em>still deadpan</em>, though Adora catches a slight twitch at the corner of her lips. Adora nudges her with her shoulder, projecting the intent before she elbows Catra. Catra finally breaks her blank expression to shoot Adora a disbelieving look.</p><p>“You called me <em>kitty</em>?” she demands. Adora sends her a sheepish look in response, ignoring how Glimmer is looking between the two of them like she is at a tennis match.</p><p>“You called me princess!” is really the only defense Adora has. Catra leans back a little, crossing her arms as she <em>surveys</em> Adora. Adora shifts a little under her gaze, far from uncomfortable, but maybe there <em>are</em> some transfer symptoms left, because all that look has her thinking about is having Catra drag her into the tack room. Catra’s lips twitch, her cheeks a little pink as she tries to ignore that thought and maintain her cool gaze.</p><p>“You <em>are</em> a princess,” she returns. Adora opens her mouth and then promptly closes it. She <em>can’t</em> respond to that without digging the hole even deeper for herself. If Adora rebutted with a similar phrase, she is pretty sure she would get clawed.</p><p>“I have horse shit stuck to my boot,” she points out, because she can at least argue she isn’t <em>princessy</em>. Catra wrinkles her nose just a little, turning away to return to the safety of the tack room.</p><p>“I know, and I’m sure the princess is very upset about it,” she replies, tone entirely condescending, before she walks off. As Catra’s back retreats, Glimmer sends Adora an exasperated look she has done nothing to earn.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>“Stargaze with me?” Adora asks her with wide puppy eyes that night. Catra sighs dramatically, but she unfurls from her spot on the duvet with a slow stretch. Adora beams down at her as Catra slips from the bed, quickly tucking in against Adora’s side. Adora leads them out to the porch swing. It is not nearly as comfortable as Adora’s bed, but the night air feels nice, a light breeze ruffling through her fur.</p><p>Catra breathes in and out slowly, dropping her head to Adora’s shoulder. The night is peaceful, the smell of the fields is calming, and having Adora at her side keeps her warm as she wriggles on the swing to make herself comfortable. The stars are so bright out here, nothing like the hazy sky she is used to seeing in the city, bogged down by light pollution. Adora’s breathing is a steady rhythm of expansion and contraction against her side, soothing as Catra nuzzles her.</p><p>“I really loved when we would do this through the bond. I could almost trick myself you were next to me,” Adora admits, her voice quiet. Catra shivers a little, pressing in closer against Adora’s side. Adora runs her hand up and down Catra’s side, warming her up as she looks out into the fields soaked in moonlight. The outline of the stable can just be made out in the distance, but Catra isn’t looking at anything not on the porch.</p><p>“Sap,” she shoots back, without any venom. Adora hums, seemingly content with that assessment as she cuddles Catra closer. Catra can’t help but recall the time before they met – and what she learned about it today.</p><p>“I can’t believe you seriously called me kitty. Did your magicat research turn up that it was offensive?” Catra asks, even though she isn’t bothered by it personally. If she truly disliked it, she would have put her foot down when Adora used <em>kitten</em> during sex.</p><p>Catra’s face immediately flushes at the thought. She is grateful she has her face tucked into Adora’s shoulder so she can’t see her sudden fluster. They have <em>not</em> had sex and they aren’t going to. The phone thing was just- It was just their <em>usual</em> thing, but with some audio added. She can’t believe she referred to it like that, even just for a moment.</p><p>Adora pulls back a bit, peering down at her in confusion. She picked up on something happening, but Catra is infinitely grateful there is no way she can know what the slipup was. Catra just shakes her head, cuddling into Adora’s side again, trying to send the message it is <em>fine</em>. She fucked up, had a small spiral, and it won’t happened again. After a moment, Adora lets it go with a sigh, returning to initial topic at hand.</p><p>“Kind of. It seemed like some are uncomfortable with it, but I also saw people choosing to use it for themselves or identifying with it. At that point I had been using it for so long I just decided to stick with it until I met you and found out how you felt personally,” Adora admits, nuzzling into her hair for a second before pressing a kiss there. Catra shivers again. It is fucking cold out here when the wind blows. Carefully, Adora shifts so both her arms are wrapping around Catra and then tugs her into her lap.</p><p>Catra relaxes again as she nuzzles into Adora, her arms a warm barrier against the breeze. <em>Kitty</em> isn’t the only revelation from today though. Catra wasn’t going to ask while they were at the stable and could be overheard, but now there is no one around except for crickets and some distant frogs.</p><p>“Kitty time?” she asks. Adora coughs, awkward and flustered. She tightens her arms around Catra’s back as if she is afraid of Catra pulling away. Catra isn’t going anywhere. She is tired after leaving the house for so long today. Just because she <em>can</em> do it doesn’t mean she likes to, but it is a pride thing to keep working. Heat leave is mandated to be available under law, but Catra has never liked taking it. She has heard more than one human coworker snipe that <em>humans</em> don’t need to take their periods off.</p><p>“I would tell Glimmer I couldn’t do something on Wednesday nights because that was <em>time for Kitty</em>. She was trying to make a point about how much time we’ve spent together this week,” Adora explains, shrugging a little, though she is nervous. She is expecting the words to make Catra pull back. She probably should. The part of her brain that is well-trained to keep her safe is reminding her that this is the exact time to put distance between them.</p><p>She is tired. She doesn’t even open her eyes. She nuzzles against Adora’s neck and says nothing. It is too much work to fight Adora right now, especially when she doesn’t <em>want</em> to. She wanted to before – she wanted to avoid giving Adora <em>anything</em> – but her heat is taking down her barriers. She just lets Adora hold her as the crickets sing and the wind ruffles her fur.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Adora <em>stares</em>. Through the bond, she can feel Catra’s curiosity rising at her surprise, but she isn’t willing to emerge from the tack room to find out what Adora is looking at.</p><p>“What, so unhappy to see us?” Lonnie asks her, grinning devilishly as she swings her arm out. Adora takes her hand, clapping Lonnie’s shoulder as they lean in for their traditional bro hug. She takes a step back, eyeing Lonnie’s boyfriend over her shoulder.</p><p>“No, you just haven’t come around to the stables in a long time. Bow not answering his phone or something?” Adora returns, shaking her head. Normally she only sees Lonnie at local competitions, in town, or when the ranch needs Bow’s farrier services. Lonnie gets a bit a devilish grin on her face, eyeing the horse stalls around them.</p><p>“Nope,” she declares proudly, bouncing a little on her heels, “Glimmer owes me a favour. She’s loaning me a horse for the county race. Expect to see me here a lot for the next three weeks. She said I could have my pick of any stallion not scheduled for showing soon. And of course not Swift Wind,” Lonnie tells her, her glee tinged with wickedness. Rogelio remains stoic over Lonnie’s shoulder.</p><p>Adora can’t help but gape. The county race is supposed to be a friendly competition. It’s an old tradition, held every year. Supposedly it started to settle a dispute between two farmers, but it has persisted ever since. Bright Moon Stables competes, but they aren’t allowed to be the <em>official</em> winners considering everyone else is racing on draft or stock horses.</p><p>“You realize you can’t win, right?” Adora asks, surprised. She always crosses the finish line first on Swift Wind, everyone applauds, and then they wait for the rest of the jockeys to find out who the <em>real</em> winner is. It is a friendly competition, and Adora has never minded that she can’t wear the flower crown after the race. She was in it for the thrill. Lonnie’s grin turns a little feral in response.</p><p>“Oh, I’m <em>going</em> to win. We’re finally going to find out who the better jockey is when we’re on an even playing field, Adora,” Lonnie promises her. Adora blinks in surprise. She and Lonnie used to face off in the junior competitions when they were kids, but once she got to higher levels, Lonnie had no chance of winning on her stock horse, so Adora went on to win a few trophies and purses while Lonnie stuck to working on the Garnets ranch.</p><p>They have always ribbed each other, especially since Adora moved into town and bumped into a familiar face. Every time Adora beat Lonnie in a race, Lonnie claimed she could go toe-to-toe with her if she had the funds for a proper horse. Adora probably shouldn’t be surprised that Lonnie is calling in a favour on finally settling this, but she <em>is</em> surprised that Glimmer agreed to it.</p><p>“<em>What</em> was the favor?” she demands. Lonnie’s grin is going to break her face in two. She is excited about this. Adora kind of is too – she hasn’t had a proper competition in a few months, Swift Wind getting a bit old for professional competitions and her reputation as a jockey established enough that people trust her horses are well-trained – but it kind of makes her anxious too.</p><p>Adora hasn’t lost a competition in years – she always shows at the very least – but she <em>has</em> lost to Lonnie before, back when they were in junior competitions. Sure, Adora was green then and she has learned a lot since, but Lonnie is a damn-skilled jockey. She has to be to have gotten as far as she did into the circuit on a stock horse.</p><p>“It’s a secret. Hence why I can cash in this big of a return. Now are you going to show me the horses you have available? I want one with enough spry in him to compete with the experience you and your boy have together,” Lonnie tells her, punching lightly at Adora’s shoulder. Yeah, that doesn’t <em>help</em> ease Adora’s worries.</p><p>“Adora? What’s going on?” Catra calls. Adora turns to find her soulmate wandering out of the tack room. She is concerned, her ears twitched back and her gaze searching, though she is trying to hide it as she walks over to Adora and braves the pair of strangers to wrap herself around Adora’s arm. Lonnie raises an eyebrow at them, shooting Rogelio an oddly <em>knowing</em> look, but Adora doesn’t care. If Catra is okay with touching her, then she certainly isn’t going to tell Catra to <em>stop</em>. Adora sighs.</p><p>“Some of them are out in the paddock, but I’ll show you the ones in the stables first,” Adora promises her, motioning for Lonnie and Rogelio to follow her. Catra doesn’t let go of her arm, walking with her.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Catra doesn’t know who the visitors are – well, she figures out they are ranch hands for the Garnets through their banter with Adora – but they have made Adora anxious, so she doesn’t <em>like</em> them. Rogelio sniffs the air far too <em>knowingly</em> when Catra reluctantly shakes his hand. She stays close to Adora’s side up until they all go out into the paddock and Catra is forced to wait outside. She isn’t walking into the dust and shit with her bare feet. She hops up onto the fence, watching alongside Rogelio as Adora shows Lonnie the horses she has available.</p><p>Lonnie picks out one of the stallions, apparently a younger half-brother of Swift Wind’s that has just finished his training, and Adora leaves the paddock to go fetch a saddle and proper bridle so Lonnie can test him out. Catra hops off the fence to follow on her heels as she returns to the tack room. Adora gives her a soft smile when Catra falls in step beside her. Her anxiety isn’t spiking anymore, but it is still present and she was totally <em>fine</em> before Lonnie challenged her.</p><p>“Racing always made you nervous, didn’t it?” Catra asks, her voice soft to keep them from being overheard. Adora was anxious for most of their childhood, and she is realizing now what caused the spikes in that anxiety, building for days leading up to the competition. It was a massive adrenaline rush then followed by either elation or depression and reprimand from her father. Adora wilts a little, biting her lip as she nods.</p><p>“Sh, it’s okay. I know you still liked it. He was the one that ruined it for you,” Catra assures, pressing in close and ducking beneath Adora’s arm. Adora makes a soft noise as she squeezes Catra close in a one-armed hug. A spike of sadness claws at her throat, but there is <em>relief</em> there too. She has never talked about it before, Catra can tell. She has never had someone else validate the feeling for her.</p><p>“I love it, but he made it so I was scared to lose. Even showing wasn’t good enough for him,” Adora tells her, her shoulders falling like she is dropping a <em>weight</em>. Catra draws to a halt, reaching up to cup Adora’s cheek. Adora’s expression, drawn tight from worrying, softens as she readily leans into the touch, sending Catra a wide-eyed look. Catra doesn’t know what the words mean, really, but she knows what sentiment it invokes in her regardless of the details.</p><p>“Adora. Your worth isn’t based on where you place,” Catra assures her. Adora’s gaze immediately turns watery and tear-filled. After a moment, she lurches forward. Catra knew it was coming and merely wraps her arms around her soulmate. “Shh, it’s okay. He was wrong. He always was,” Catra promises her, stroking through her hair. She knows her soulmate. Catra came out of her experience wanting to grow beyond Weaver’s expectations for her, but Adora is still seeking the approval she was always withheld by Hordak.</p><p>Adora manages not to cry – or at least not to sob. Tears land on Catra’s shoulder, but she just holds her soulmate close outside of the tack room until Adora’s breathing is steady and she pulls away, offering Catra a watery smile. Catra returns it, leaning forward to nudge under her chin and drag a careful scent mark there, making her message clear. Adora is hers regardless of some <em>race</em>.</p><p>Adora almost loses control again, but it isn’t as overwhelming this time. When Catra is certain she is steady again, she drops her arms to take Adora’s hand instead. Adora clears her throat, awkward but thankful. She doesn’t know <em>how</em> to thank someone for something like this. Even seven years free, she struggles with sharing the emotional burden.</p><p>“It’s okay. I’m here,” Catra promises, squeezing her hand. Adora sends her a thankful and somewhat pleading look. She closes her eyes for a moment, taking a few deep breaths, and then opens them again with a hopeful smile. She is ready now.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t you have work you need to do?” Adora asks Catra as she holds her hand out to take the bridle from Adora so Adora can carry the saddle. The gesture is not altruistic. Catra just wants to ogle Adora’s arms as she carries the saddle out. Catra glances over at her laptop, narrowing her eyes at it, and then shrugs.</p><p>“It can wait. I want to see if Lonnie gets bucked off. If Glimmer wanted me chained to the laptop, she shouldn’t have sent visitors,” Catra says with a shrug. It isn’t a lie, but Adora can tell she just doesn’t to be separated. Working from the stable worked on Monday, so she is doing it again today. If Glimmer and Angella needed anything, they can always drive over. She will keep doing it until Thursday, when she will return to the ranch office, though her heat leave doesn’t run out until Friday.</p><p>Catra’s heat symptoms have eased off significantly since she started staying at the farmhouse. She can’t justify to herself sticking at Adora’s side much longer. Part of Adora is afraid her barriers are coming back up. She doubts Catra will be coming home with her after work on Thursday, but she hopes that she won’t pull back so much that she isn’t willing to go out for their road trip on Saturday.</p><p>“You know part of the training is <em>not</em> to buck under saddle, right?” Adora says, not acknowledging the fact that it is an excuse to follow her out to the paddock again. She could have gotten away with acknowledging it on the second day of Catra’s heat, maybe, but not now. All she would accomplish would be spooking Catra. Catra sticks her tongue out at Adora.</p><p>“A girl can dream. Now get back to hauling so I can appreciate your arms, princess,” Catra orders. Adora flushes, but she does as she is told.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>On Wednesday night, Catra slips from the bed after she feels Adora drift off. Adora rouses, but Catra puts a hand on her shoulder and gently pushes her back into the sheets.</p><p>“I’m getting a drink. Go back to sleep,” Catra assures her. It is true, even if that isn’t all she is doing. Adora is only half-conscious, and she doesn’t pick up on the fib. She drops her head back onto the pillow, making a soft noise as she drifts back off. Catra releases a breath, letting her shoulders fall with it. She disappears into the closet to grab a sweater, pulling it on as she quietly pads into the kitchen, getting herself a drink first so she doesn’t feel too guilty.</p><p>Staying hydrated during her heat is usually harder. Her body has a narrow window where it is prepping like this, and it always leaves her with aching muscles and increased thirst. The muscle aches aren’t helped by spending all day sitting on a stool, bent over a laptop at a table meant for horse gear rather than banking.</p><p>She doesn’t know why she is <em>doing</em> that. She was so uncomfortable and desperate on Friday that she was willing to reach out to Adora in a way she doesn’t know how she let herself do in retrospect. On Saturday, she was so relieved and so much more comfortable that she didn’t second-guess her decision – it was just for a week, after all. On Sunday, the doubt started to set in, hence her decision to return to work partially, but Adora being there for her, so kind and solid, reassured her.</p><p>Catra unlocks the front door and wanders out to the porch bench. She settles down on it. She was hoping the night air – and Adora’s scent being fainter now she is outside of her house – would bring some clarity. It doesn’t. She doesn’t want to go back to her shitty apartment right now, and yet she also doesn’t want to <em>stay</em> here, giving Adora so much access.</p><p>She can’t ignore that she reached out to Adora in an extremely vulnerable moment and she only acted towards Catra with kindness, though. Catra didn’t <em>need</em> her, it wasn’t the same urgent rush that led to her driving to Adora’s house exactly a month ago now, but Adora could have made her more comfortable, so she dropped everything to do so.</p><p>Adora could have taken advantage of her in so many ways this week – hell, if she stood up and walked into the bedroom one of the times they were getting off together, Catra would have <em>let</em> her and panicked about it afterwards – but Adora has done none of those things. They haven’t even <em>occurred</em> to her. She oscillates between going about her day, being delighted that Catra is here, and worried about her leaving. Which Catra <em>intends to</em>, but she doesn’t know what is next for them. She doesn’t even know when this is <em>over</em>.</p><p>She goes back to work tomorrow, but it is at the ranch. Aside from light dehydration and soreness, she feels fine today. Logically, she should have Adora take her home after work. She just- she doesn’t want to go back to sleeping on that shitty mattress is the problem. She often woke up at the crack of dawn with Adora even before they were sharing a bed, but she is so relaxed here that her quality of sleep has changed dramatically, and she feels more <em>rested</em> despite getting less overall.</p><p>Part of that is just the fantastic mattress Adora inherited from Mara though. Catra can give Adora <em>some</em> credit, but having a comfortable and quiet place to curl up helps a lot. It helps that Adora seems to be made to be a housewife – every day she is eager to cook for Catra, despite only having a good handle on about two dozen recipes. Catra can add <em>having good, consistent meals</em> to the lists of perks of staying with Adora.</p><p>She groans, raising her hand to rub at her eyes and then forcing herself to stand. She is getting nowhere. She turns to the front door and freezes when she sees a pair of cat eyes blinking at her from the other end of the porch.</p><p>“What are you doing here?” she asks, a bit ruffled, as if Melog will answer her. Well, he does, but Catra can’t understand his mew, so it doesn’t count. Melog stands from where he was sitting at the end of the porch and comes strolling up, rubbing against her legs. Catra stares down at him as he twines around her shins. She has yet to see any of the barn cats outside of the stable area, and Melog especially likes to stick to the tack room.</p><p>“I’m going inside,” she warns as she bends to pet him, giving him some scratches under his chin as a consolation to him for walking all this way for nothing. When she goes to open the front door, however, he twists around her feet as she steps inside. She watches, shocked, as he darts into the house and deftly leaps onto the couch.</p><p>Melog immediately settles down to loaf on the couch, his eyes closing from his contentment. Catra gapes at him. Melog has a lot of audacity, but he also doesn’t seem to like anyone but Catra. He doesn’t mind Adora, but he rarely approaches her on his own. Catra doesn’t know why he would make a bid to be let into her house.</p><p>“Hey, <em>no</em>, you live at the barn, where I can visit you,” Catra tells him, leaving the front door open and crossing over to the sofa so she can shoo him away. Melog shoots her an incredibly unimpressed and then settles down further into the spot – <em>Catra’s</em> spot, when she and Adora watch TV together – and begins purring.</p><p>Oh. <em>Oh</em>. Fuck. Melog is moving in because <em>she</em> moved in.</p><p>She has been thinking of this as temporary, just staying at Adora’s while they both deal with her heat. Melog doesn’t know about temporary. Whatever Catra’s intentions, he doesn’t care. This is Catra’s spot – on Adora’s sofa – so he is claiming it as his own as well. Catra swallows, staring down at their shared cat for a moment.</p><p>She turns, walking back out the front door to settle on the porch swing again. She clearly needs to do <em>more thinking</em>.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Adora drives Catra to work on Thursday with a feeling of dread. She knows what is coming this afternoon.</p><p>She woke up this morning to Melog sitting on her chest in an otherwise-empty bed. She found Catra curled up, still asleep, on the porch swing. When Adora woke her, Catra was flushed and embarrassed, worried about Adora bringing up that she had slept <em>outside</em>. Adora didn’t ask – her heart was too busy breaking, knowing Catra was already pulling away – but Catra rushed to defend that she just came out for the night air and then drifted off, accidentally letting Melog into the house in the process.</p><p>They both spent all morning distracting themselves with Melog – which was easy, considering he was determined to be a nuisance in the kitchen – and pretending neither of them were swirling with anxiety. Catra has been dealing with conflicting emotions all morning, while Adora has been settled firmly on dread, tinged by a need to get everything she can out of the last moments.</p><p>Catra is going to use the space of the day to sort out some of her feelings, Adora knows. At least she plans to. Adora just spends the day <em>worrying</em>, hoping Catra won’t pull too far back in reaction to this. She has done everything she can to care for Catra this week. She hopes she has proven she won’t hurt Catra, but she knows trauma doesn’t work like that. They have made so many steps forward, and Adora can only hope they take fewer back.</p><p>Shortly before lunch, Adora is in the middle of leading her younger horses in from some training rounds when she runs into Glimmer. Adora frowns as Glimmer falls in step beside her with an oddly <em>knowing</em> look.</p><p>“Is Catra alright?” she asks, because she can’t figure out why else Glimmer would come over right now. She feels turmoil from Catra, but she <em>thought</em> it was just from Catra processing the events of the last week, or perhaps dread for returning to her own apartment tonight. Glimmer’s eyes spark up, seemingly with <em>victory</em>.</p><p>“Worried about your girlfriend?” she teases, elbowing Adora. It isn’t a tease. Adora feels a small spike of panic before she remembers that Catra isn’t here to overhear. She shoots Glimmer a clear <em>stop it</em> look as she brings Jazzmaster Jeremiah into his stall.</p><p>“She doesn’t want to be my girlfriend,” Adora sighs, shaking her head as she undoes his bridle and walks back out, straight past Glimmer and towards the tack room. She knows it is petty to ignore her friend, but calling Catra her girlfriend is just rubbing salt in the wound. Behind her, Glimmer sighs with exasperation and follows. Adora ignores her as she hangs up the bridle, but then she hears Glimmer closing the door behind them. Adora turns to find her standing in the doorway with her arms crossed.</p><p>“I’ve had the grooms and Bow texting me that you’re moping. By sheer coincidence, Catra is sulking in the office,” Glimmer tells her. Adora sighs and sends Glimmer a glare. Glimmer, having received the message to <em>drop it</em>, completely ignores it. She raises an eyebrow at Adora, waiting for an answer.</p><p>“Nothing happened. It’s just the end of her heat,” Adora tells her. She doesn’t want Glimmer thinking there was an <em>incident</em> or trying to use this as proof that Catra is running hoping Adora will chase her. It is quite the opposite – she wants Adora to try for her, yes, but she needs the room to breathe. Adora needs to prove to her that she can respect the boundaries that make Catra feel safe. Glimmer narrows her eyes at Adora.</p><p>“Funny, because Rogelio said you smell <em>mated</em>,” she returns. Adora <em>gapes</em>. She doesn’t know what the means, really, but it explains a lot about Lonnie’s smug behaviour when she visited. Rogelio told her a few things in lizardfolk Adora didn’t understand, and after one mumbled exchange, Lonnie started <em>cackling</em>. A realization hits Adora as she stares at Glimmer.</p><p>“You let Lonnie borrow a racehorse in exchange for Rogelio <em>sniffing us</em>?” she demands, incredulous. Borrowing a horse is not a <em>small deal</em>. She can’t believe Glimmer did all this when Adora already told her they weren’t doing anything. It feels invasive for Glimmer to do, but Adora also knows that any hybrid passing them on the street would be able to tell the same thing. Glimmer at least has the grace to look sheepish in the face of her reaction.</p><p>“We aren’t <em>mated</em>. Glimmer, if I want you to know about our relationship, I’ll tell you. I know she cares about me. That doesn’t mean she is ready,” Adora says. Glimmer winces a little, pressing her lips together. She is clearly holding back from a reply, but she just nods. For a minute, Adora just watches her, trying not to feel unsettled by it. After the silence has stretched between them, giving them both time to think, Glimmer sighs.</p><p>“I’m sorry. For the record, that doesn’t have anything to do with sex. It means she has marked you as her partner,” Glimmer tells her. Adora pauses, blinking at her. Glimmer sends her an apologetic look. “I know it hurts you when she turns you down, Adora. And I know you think it’s necessary to accept for now, but you deserved to know, and I did want to make sure nothing had gone too far because you were excited she was letting you. I trust you, but consent during heat is… complicated,” Glimmer admits. She seems pained to be admitting she had doubted Adora.</p><p>Adora just nods. Glimmer <em>really</em> doesn’t need to worry about that, but she can accept that Glimmer called in reinforcements out of concern. Adora is glad someone other than her is worried about Catra, but she never would have done something to endanger their relationship while Catra was vulnerable.</p><p>She can’t acknowledge the <em>Catra’s partner</em> thing. That is going to take too long to unpack while Glimmer is here, but it gives her hope about them being able to walk out of this without too much regression.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Catra finishes work and then pulls on her – Adora’s – cardigan at record-low speeds, doing everything she can to drag out having to leave the ranch office and be confronted with an anxious Adora. Adora is waiting for her, anxious and hopeful and trying <em>not</em> to be hopeful. Catra doesn’t really know what that cocktail of emotions means.</p><p>When she walks out of the office door, she doesn’t turn her head to look at where Adora is sat on the bench. She just can’t. She feels Adora’s heart fall as she walks straight down the porch steps and towards her pickup. Catra’s heart is in her throat and Adora is much the same, taking a few uneven breaths before she stands from the bench and hurries after Catra.</p><p>Adora’s heartbeat is pounding as she falls in step behind Catra. It twists Catra’s heart, knowing she is causing hurt in Adora, but after a week of utter vulnerability, it is still so hard to admit what she wants to say. She <em>can’t</em> say it. Instead, when they reach the pickup, Catra drops down into the passenger seat and curls up, her gaze fixed firmly out the window.</p><p>For a long moment, Adora says nothing. After a few seconds of silence, Adora turns on her car and puts on her seatbelt. She never bothers to do that when she is staying on the ranch and the bad habit transferred to Catra while Adora chauffeured her around for the last few days. Despite the declaration that putting her seatbelt on is, Adora doesn’t put the car in drive, just idling in the parking lot as she waits for Catra to speak.</p><p>Anxiety is clawing at her throat. Catra has been doing a <em>lot</em> of thinking since last night, but she still isn’t sure of herself. Her brain tells her to do one thing, but her heart <em>wants</em> another.</p><p>“Melog came over last night because I was there,” she says, well-aware of just how cryptic that statement will be to Adora. She can <em>feel</em> the sudden confusion radiating off Adora for several long seconds before it quiets down as she chooses to just wait.</p><p>“I want him to stay in the house. I don’t like him just wandering around the stable area. It doesn’t feel safe,” Catra adds. She was hoping that would be enough for Adora to get it, but she hasn’t. She has at least picked up that Catra is doing that <em>thing</em> she does when she can’t say something directly and so she gives out small puzzle pieces until Adora can see the picture.</p><p>“I’ll stay just long enough for him to settle in-“ Adora draws in a sharp breath as it <em>clicks</em>. Catra immediately cuts off, her ears pinning back and tail thudding uncertainly against the seat. Adora is outright bursting with hope and affection that makes Catra’s claws want to snap out. “I’ll stay tonight, and Friday night, and then you can take me back to my apartment after our roadtrip on Saturday,” Catra decides.</p><p>She doesn’t want to go home. It also feels too risky to stay here. Just a little while longer, until all the hormones subside and she becomes rational again. Catra isn’t looking, but she can <em>hear</em> Adora nodding enthusiastically.</p><p>“Okay. As long as you want to stay is fine with me,” Adora assures her, voice <em>overjoyed</em>. Catra flushes, merely grunting in acknowledgement. She knew that already. Adora has been worried about her leaving all day.</p><p>“Just until Saturday,” Catra mutters. Temper expectations now, so it doesn’t hurt when it comes. Adora nods again, less eagerly this time, as she reaches down and puts the truck in drive.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Catra keeps trying to trick Adora into telling her where they are going. The store is an hour from the ranch, which gives Catra plenty of time to come up with ways for Adora to accidentally spoil her surprise – and also to complain.</p><p>“He doesn’t have any <em>toys</em>,” Catra says, like it is an act of great cruelty. Adora snorts, rolling her eyes with a bit of fondness as she drives through the streets of Elberon, looking for the storefront she has seen in photos online. Catra is keeping both of their minds busy by using Melog as a distraction – something they have both done a lot for the last two days. Adora never expected Catra to stay past the end of her heat, but they are both very aware that this trip marks the end of the little slice of paradise they have carved out.</p><p>Adora loves waking up with Catra, spending the day with her whenever they aren’t working, and watching her fall asleep beside her. Adora knew it had to end eventually, but she is so grateful Catra was willing to stay this long, even if she was withdrawn on Thursday night, tired from all the emotion. The fact that she used Melog settling into the farmhouse as an excuse to stay longer gives Adora hope that she won’t pull back once she goes back to sleeping at her own apartment.</p><p>“He has <em>actual prey</em> to chase. You know, the thing toys are meant to simulate since housecats can’t hunt,” Adora shoots back. Catra hisses in reponse. It doesn’t even make Adora blink. The hiss means <em>nothing</em>, Catra just wants to spoil Melog. On Thursday, they tried leaving him in the house while they went to work, and he tore up one of Catra’s sweaters and turned it into a bed. On Friday, Catra carried him out to the car in the morning. Melog went with them as Adora dropped Catra off at work, and then spent the day at the stables with Adora. He happily jumped into the car at the end of the day and settled back down in the house with no complaint.</p><p>“Well, I’m the fun mom, and I think he should have some things that are just for fun. He isn’t your mouse slave,” Catra grumbles, crossing her arms and sulking down in her seat. Adora pulls up to a stop sign and turns to give Catra an incredulous look. Catra blushes, likely aware she is being <em>ridiculous</em>, but she doesn’t drop her huff, choosing to instead stick her tongue out at Adora.</p><p>Adora returns to driving, exasperated and way too fond of the petulant cat – <em>not</em> Melog - in her life. Despite taking weeks to warm up to her and still being far fonder of Catra than he is of her, Melog is largely a good boy. The same thing cannot be said for Catra.</p><p>“<em>Good</em>,” Catra returns, picking up on Adora’s thoughts. Adora can’t help but laugh as she pulls into the shopping centre’s parking lot.</p><p>“I think you’re <em>projecting</em>. He’s happy enough to move in on his own, and if we introduced toys, he might bring them back to the barn. The cats could fight over them or stop doing their actual jobs,” Adora points out as she parks the car. Catra hisses again, more serious this time. Adora turns to look at her. Catra immediately sulks lower down in her chair, ears pinning back. She knows Adora is right, but she doesn’t like it.</p><p>She throws Adora one last scowl and then promptly turns to push open the pickup’s door and gets out of the truck. Adora sighs, but she gets out of the car as well, taking the time to lock it since they are in a proper-sized town now. Catra waits for her on the sidewalk. Adora cautiously approaches from the side, mentally warning her before she reaches out and takes Catra’s hand.</p><p>Catra, despite the warning she was about to be touched, startles a little at the <em>type</em> of contact, looking down at their interlaced hands. Catra flushes, her ears pinning back, but at least she seems to be distracted from her scowl. She looks up at Adora with wide eyes. Adora sends her a gentle smile, squeezing her fingers before loosening them again, making it easy for Catra to pull away.</p><p>“Where are we going?” Catra demands, looking away with her cheeks blazing. Her heart is beating fast in her chest, but there is warmth there alongside the internal confusion. Adora will take it as long as she isn’t pulling away. Adora tightens her grip on Catra’s hand a little, pulling her down the sidewalk to lead her to the right storefront.</p><p>Catra doesn’t realize what it is until they walk in the front door. The windows don’t really reveal the stock well, so it isn’t until they step inside and get a view of the store that Catra realizes where they are. She immediately narrows her eyes, sending Adora an exasperated look.</p><p>“Really?” she asks. Adora sends Catra her best puppy eyes, tugging on their intertwined hands to lead Catra further into the store.</p><p>“You’re around the stable a lot now because of Melog,” it isn’t because of Melog and they both know it, “so you should have protection. This is the closest store that carried boots fitted for magicat feet.,” Adora tells her, squeezing her hand once and then loosening her grip again, waiting for Catra’s reaction. She knew all along Catra didn’t <em>want</em> boots, but Adora wants her to have the option for protection. Catra scowls, eyeing the displays they walk past.</p><p>“I’ll pay for them. I wouldn’t make you spend money on something you didn’t want, but I would like if you came to the race, and considering it is an unofficial horse show, it just won’t be safe to be there barefoot,” Adora tells her as they finally reach the magicat section. Catra scowls, a spike of irritation in her chest as she glares at the boots. Adora hesitates, unsure what she said wrong. Maybe Catra wasn’t planning on coming to the race? Adora feels her heart fall. Catra sighs and shoots her a tired look.</p><p>“I’ll go, but I’m buying the boots myself. I don’t want you spending money on me,” Catra returns, her gaze challenging. She is daring Adora to correct her. Adora doesn’t <em>want</em> Catra to spend money on shoes she never wanted. Driving someone somewhere to surprise them into spending two hundred dollars would be an absolute dick move. Catra narrows her eyes. She isn’t backing down. It is a matter of pride.</p><p>“They’ll cost less than the hospital bills if I got my toes broken or some shit. I’m not letting you spend more money on me, Adora,” Catra returns, crossing her arms and glaring Adora down. Adora wants to argue, but more than anything she wants Catra to be safe. She sighs, mentally letting go of the money she set aside just for this, and nods. She doesn’t want to push Catra away by insisting on this. Catra relaxes a little, letting out a slow breath before she turns to eye the display of boots. Adora can’t help but notice her eyes settling on one pair in particular.</p><p>“Alright, show me how the fuck to fit a shoe,” Catra requests, begrudgingly.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Wearing shoes feels weird. Catra has never even tried them on before. Adora helps her find boots to try on, all in a similar style to the cowboy boots Catra is used to, but with a low heel and modified footbed, wide enough for her claws and sculpted on the bottom to create grooves for her toes so they aren’t all pinched together like human shoes tend to do.</p><p>Catra still feels <em>restricted</em> wearing the shoes, and walking in them through the aisles is awkward at first, but Adora stays right by her side to catch her if she wobbles too much. Overall, she isn’t a fan, but she does <em>need</em> them. Adora has not been secretive – or at least, not <em>successful </em>at being secretive – about wanting to take her for a ride, and though Catra is still firmly set on <em>no</em>, she is around the horses a dangerous amount to be barefoot.</p><p>She finds a pair of boots she can walk in and, after Adora explains to her the characteristics of a boot that fits well, she decides that they will do. Adora warns her they are red, but she likes the style overall and she wants to <em>go</em>, so she gets them. She feels weird trying on shoes in public. She practically bolts from the store once the boots are paid for. Adora has to jog to catch up as she makes her way back to the pickup.</p><p>They aren’t nearly as chatty on the way back as they were on the way out, but Adora reaches across occasionally to pet her, and it feels nice enough that Catra ends up sprawled across the bench seat, her seatbelt tugged at an awkward angle so Catra can lay her head on Adora’s thigh and get her ears pet easily as Adora drives. She kind of needs the comfort while she thinks anyway.</p><p>She gave Adora a definite end date on when she was leaving the house. In truth, it was an excuse to buy herself time to think. She had a lot of free time at the bank on Friday. She couldn’t stop going over every moment she pulled away from Adora and Adora let her go – every moment she reached out and Adora instantly pulled Catra into her arms. She couldn’t stop thinking about her shitty apartment, and how depressing it was going to be to lock herself back up in it, alone, with no Adora or Melog to keep her company.</p><p>When they pull into the apartment complex parking lot, Adora parks and shuts off the car, but she makes no move to leave. Instead, Catra feels Adora gazing down at Catra’s head in her lap. Adora pets her ears, twirling Catra’s short hair around her fingers and scratching occasionally at her scalp. It feels amazing and soon there is a soft rumble filling the cab of the car. Catra doesn’t want this to end.</p><p>Neither does Adora. Her heart is squeezing painfully. She wants to pull Catra into a crushing embrace and never let go. She doesn’t. Instead, she merely rubs at the base of Catra’s ears, massaging her and straining her own hearing to listen to the purr she seems to adore so much. Catra doesn’t know how long they lay like that, but eventually the car starts to feel stuffy from the afternoon sun streaming through the windows with no AC to cut it.</p><p>Reluctantly, Catra sits up with a sigh. Adora’s heart drops, but she immediately tries to bury the emotion, sending Catra a thin smile as she turns to fetch her bag and laptop from the back seat. Catra slips out of the passenger side door, unable to take the energy in the cab now that the moment has snapped. It feels like a live wire, the two frayed ends of which are dancing around in dangerous arcs, spitting off sparks that threaten to burn her.</p><p>Adora hoists Catra’s bag over her shoulder and gets out of the car too. She intends to carry the things up for Catra, squeezing in any last moment that she can. Catra takes her laptop and bag from her without making eye contact, her heart beating heavily. Adora is crestfallen, but she says nothing as Catra takes the objects and turns to leave.</p><p>Adora doesn’t move, watching Catra’s back as she walks away. Catra’s heart is in her throat as she walks halfway across the lot, stopping at her own car, sitting idle since last week. With shaking hands, she goes digging in her pocket and pulls out the key, unlocking it. Confusion filters through the bond from Adora as Catra pulls open the backdoor. Catra slips her bag from her shoulder, tossing it into the backseat and then dropping her laptop beside it.</p><p>Adora doesn’t <em>understand</em>. Catra closes the door, staring in at her things through the window for a moment as she gathers herself and then looks up, sending Adora a pleading look. From across the parking lot, she feels Adora draw in a breath. For a terrible moment, shock is suspended between them as Adora finally comes to understand her intentions.</p><p>The moment snaps, and this time it isn’t a live wire. This time it is a ribbon cutting, red silk falling to the ground and opening up new possibilities as Adora rushes forward, crossing the space between them and wrapping her arms around Catra’s shoulders. Adora isn’t crying, but she is <em>damn close</em>, and honestly so is Catra. She feels so vulnerable and exposed, even without ever uttering the words to ask.</p><p>“You’re staying?” Adora asks, her voice breathless as she crushes Catra in against her chest. Catra shivers, burying her face in Adora’s neck, and then she nods.</p><p>“You’re going to be my pack mule and bring the rest of my stuff down to the car,” Catra returns, because she <em>can’t</em> say something emotional now, not without having a breakdown. She needs to minimize it, to deflect. Adora laughs, happy and relieved, and nuzzles into Catra’s hair.</p><p>“Anything for you,” she promises. Catra shivers in her arms, pressing closer into the embrace.</p><p>She isn’t going back to her apartment. She is going home.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Catra: My apartment is sad I only have two pieces of furniture.<br/>Also Catra: I have enough money to buy $200 boots but that money definitely couldn’t be used to improve my apartment guess I have to move in with Adora.<br/><a href="https://n7punk.tumblr.com/post/646119884434112512/ihtwcyn-ref-2-catras-boots-inspired-by-both">Catra's boots!</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Racing (against the clock)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>What are you talking about the chapter count changed it’s always been 10. I got sappy and couldn’t stop. Shut up.<br/>CW: Panic attack, and taking prescription anxiety meds as directed to deal with anxiety. It is much milder than what was in Chapter 4, and Catra is there for it too.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Catra gets off her shift on Monday and considers texting Adora. She always texted Scorpia if she was going to stay out too late so she wouldn’t worry. It was more of a preventative measure though, implemented after the first time she went out partying, had her phone die, and stumbled home at three in the morning to find her roommate sobbing on the phone with Entrapta, worried for Catra’s safety.</p><p>Adora <em>knows</em> Catra is fine though. She can feel that Catra is alive and well and <em>moody</em> through the bond. Adora also has work to do at the stable. She has no reason to go home and check if Catra is there. Which Catra <em>won’t</em> be.</p><p>She just needs space. She has been living with Adora for a <em>week</em> while going through some major hormonal shifts. She overheard a whisper – come on, like that does anything against her hearing – of a rumour in the bank. The exact phrase was “I heard she’s taking up with Angella’s youngest.” It made Catra’s spine bristle, but she managed to contain any other reaction, and no one saw it thanks to her small cubicle.</p><p>She just needs space to breathe. She and Adora haven’t talked at <em>all</em> about what the fuck they are doing, but all of Catra’s personal belongings and the majority of her clothes are at Adora’s now. Adora has agreed they can go shopping to get Melog things next weekend, and they made a quick trip on Sunday to get him a litter box. He took to it immediately, leading Adora to believe he must have had a family once.</p><p>Catra would rather do her sulking in the comfort of the farmhouse, but she just can’t be there right now. She gets in her car and drives over to the shitty apartment that only has basic amenities in it now. She brought things like her toothbrush with her when she first went to Adora’s, and not much is left here. What she <em>didn’t</em> bring, however, was her food.</p><p>Catra needs something to do, so she sets to cleaning out the fridge of anything that could have expired in the last week. She still has another few months on this lease, so the apartment will remain as a place for her to crash or hide out when she needs it, but at least she won’t have to sleep in the surprisingly noisy building or pay to use the laundry machines in the basement anymore.</p><p>Catra feels better after clearing out the fridge. It needed to be done, and accomplishing a basic task helps her feel like a <em>person</em> again, rather than a collection of warring instincts and quivering anxiety. She settles down on her mattress, which feels <em>astonishingly</em> shitty now she has grown somewhere accustomed to Adora’s bed, and she calls her friends.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Catra doesn’t come home until late in the evening. Adora can tell she is with friends though, so she is probably calling them and wanted privacy. Does it worry Adora a little? Yes, but she knows it is likely <em>fine</em>. She is anticipating Catra pulling back several times as she gets more comfortable with staying at Adora’s.</p><p>Melog meows admonishingly at her when they get back, having run through all the rooms in the house and assessed that Catra isn’t <em>here</em>, but Adora gives him pets until the attention either satisfies him or annoys him into leaving her alone. Melog disappears into the bedroom as Adora goes about showering the day off, and when she emerges, she finds Melog has curled himself up in their laundry basket.</p><p>It makes her heart hurt, seeing <em>their</em> cat snuggling into Catra’s laundry since she isn’t here. Adora sighs, squatting down beside Melog and petting him, watching him lean into her touch more than he <em>usually</em> does. He is worried about the fact that Catra isn’t here the same as Adora is, but he doesn’t know enough to understand why. Not that Adora really knows why either, but aside from feeling anxiety from Catra, she can tell her soulmate is fine.</p><p>“It’s okay, buddy. I miss her too. She’ll be back,” Adora promises, bending to kiss the top of his head. Melog growls, but he allows it, which is a first. So far, Catra has been the only one who has been able to get her face close to him. Adora kind of wants to text Catra and tell her Melog misses her, but the feels like something that might make Catra scared. Emotional manipulation is one of her strongest fears.</p><p>Adora will wait and tell her in the morning. Catra has to come to the ranch tomorrow for work, even if she ends up crashing at her old place tonight.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Catra doesn’t pull up to Adora’s house until after ten in the evening. She parks her car outside and stares through the front windows. They bathe the porch in light, but Adora is nowhere to be seen. She must be in the bedroom. Catra could still turn around and leave. She moved in with Adora on Saturday, yes, but Adora told her while they were cuddling that night that any time she needs space, no matter what that looks like, she will give it to her.</p><p>Today would have been a test if it hadn’t been so <em>needed</em>. Catra needed room - to think, to be alone, to call her friends. Scorpia started cheering when Catra told her she moved in with Adora, as did Entrapta, though she sounded more confused and like she was just following along with Scorpia. Those cheers turned to admonishments when Scorpia asked Catra to tell her all about the confession and Catra returned that there <em>wasn’t</em> one.</p><p>“First of all, I have nothing to confess. Second, if I did, I wouldn’t need to say it anyway because she would <em>know</em>. Third, I never admit anything. You still have no proof of what happened to the vacuum cleaner,” Catra scowled. The truth about the vacuum cleaner is that she accidentally vacuumed up a sock that then somehow <em>caught fire</em> in the internal mechanism, but when Scorpia came home Catra just told her it randomly exploded when she turned it on. Scorpia assumed she lost the sock in the laundry and they spent two weeks in a burnt-smelling apartment.</p><p>Perfuma decided Catra needed an emergency meditation session after that declaration. It was bullshit, but Catra went along with it. She does feel more settled now – either that, or being in her apartment was steadily getting worse, and she just wanted to be back in Adora’s bed. She has no intentions of moving back to her apartment anyway, but hiding out there sometimes? Yes, definitely.</p><p>Catra sighs and gets out of her car, walking up the porch steps slowly. Inside, she hears the pounding of tiny paws running up to the door. When she opens it, she finds a confused Adora emerging from the bedroom and Melog, having bolted toward the door when he sensed her coming, mewing loudly with excitement as he sets to winding himself around her ankles as soon as she sets foot inside.</p><p>Adora’s heart is bursting, relief and affection almost choking to Catra. She ignores her, taking a breath and forcing the bond quiet – well, quieter – as she bends to pick Melog up.</p><p>“Did you miss me? Did lame mom make you go to bed on time?” Catra coos to him, rubbing her nose against his. He playfully nips at the tip of her nose - causing Catra to wrinkle it up because shit, that does <em>hurt</em> – before rubbing a scent mark on her face. Adora lets out a snort, laced with laughter and <em>relief</em>, but she doesn’t correct Catra, despite how Catra knows she wants to protest. She knows better than to force Catra to interact with her right now, even if Catra came home.</p><p>Catra locks the front door behind her, with Melog still snuggled in her arms, purring and mewing as he rubs his face all over her.</p><p>“Jeez, Melog, I didn’t <em>die</em>, even if the bank feels like purgatory sometimes,” Catra tells him as she crosses the room. Adora perks up as Catra approaches, even though Catra still has her eyes fixed firmly ahead. Catra pauses beside her, not looking, but after a moment she leans to the side and practically flops into Adora’s arms. Adora releases a soft, affectionate sound as she wraps her arms around Catra, hugging her in the hallway.</p><p>Catra closes her eyes, letting herself luxuriate in both being held herself and having Melog in her arms. Without meaning to, her barriers come slipping back down. She can feel Adora’s relief, though it isn’t as choking now. Her heart is overflowing from her affection as she cuddles Catra, just so happy to have her back home. Catra swallows, rubbing her cheek a little against Adora’s shoulder. She hasn’t refreshed her marks since this morning, but she is also doing it just because she knows Adora likes it.</p><p>Scorpia loved her. She, and Entrapta, and Perfuma are all Catra’s friends, and she knows they love her. Still, it is something new entirely to <em>feel</em> someone else’s love for her. Adora’s emotions are like a supernova, intense and burning - terrifying and beautiful. Catra keeps her eyes closed, nuzzling into Adora's shoulder and just letting herself feel the affection her soulmate holds for her.</p><p>Adora feels so much, but she didn’t reach out to Catra tonight. She let her go. She wasn’t even sure if Catra was coming home – after all, neither was Catra – but she set aside her own desire for Catra to be here so Catra could have the space she needed.</p><p>“Melog missed you. He kept meowing at me. I think he wanted me to send a search party,” Adora tells her, voice low as she presses a kiss into Catra’s hair. Catra is purring – she might have been for a while, actually, it’s hard to tell between zoning out a little just <em>feeling</em> and the fact that Melog is purring against her too.</p><p>“His lack of intelligence is from your side of the family,” Catra tells her. Adora huffs a laugh, raising one hand to lightly flick against Catra’s arm.</p><p>“Brat,” she returns, before kissing her ear now that Catra hasn’t protested the first attempt at affection, Catra purrs, nuzzling a bit more into Adora’s arms.</p><p>“Tired. Long day,” she mumbles. She is tired, but that isn’t why she says it. Adora releases a soft, soothing sound, tightening her arms around Catra.</p><p>“Alright. Come on, let’s get to bed,” Adora responds. Catra doesn’t stop purring as Adora herds her into the bedroom and lifts the covers for her. They end up lying facing each other, Melog curled between them. Catra’s arms are tucked in against her chest, loosely cradling Melog while Adora hugs them both.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Adora wakes up first on Tuesday morning with only one thought on her mind. Catra is sleeping peacefully beside her, Melog curled up at the foot of the bed, but Catra is going to be working closely with Glimmer today, and Glimmer texted Adora on Sunday about the suspicious and prolonged presence of Catra’s car outside her house. Adora has a question she wants to ask Catra. She <em>needs</em> to ask, especially before Catra goes to work with Glimmer this morning.</p><p>She also doesn’t want to panic or push Catra before her shift, or after a day where she was already overwhelmed and needed extra space. Adora was happy to give it to her. Catra came back to her like she knew she would, though it happened quicker than she expected. Adora really thought she was going to sleep alone last night.</p><p>“Too early for bullshit,” Catra grumbles, only stirring in the covers to wriggle further down into them, as if to bury herself where Adora’s cascading thoughts can’t get her. She is absolutely adorable, one ear inside out from how she was sleeping on it and her hair mussed up as she begins to slip away back into sleep, rumbling softly.</p><p>Adora presses closer and throws an arm over Catra, enjoying having her soulmate in her arms while she is allowing it. She bends down, pressing a light kiss into Catra’s hair. Catra seemed to like that during her heat, and clearly she still does now, because her purr picks up and she snuggles closer, seemingly unconsciously. Adora’s heart is bursting, and she knows what <em>she</em> would call this emotion, but-</p><p>When she feels similar things from Catra, it doesn’t feel exactly the same. She doesn’t know if that is because the kind of affection Catra holds for her is different or if everyone’s love feels different. Catra is willing to be friends – even <em>call</em> them friends – but she is still unwilling to take any steps further, despite them sharing a house and a cat together. Adora is so thankful to have what they <em>do</em> at this point, but the problem is that she just don’t know-</p><p>Catra sighs, a heavy, dramatic rush of air as she turns over just enough to slit her golden eye open and look up at Adora, the right side of her face still pressed down into the pillow.</p><p>“Just ask, or I’m going to join in on your anxiety,” Catra tells her, voice begrudging and rough with sleep. Adora wants to laugh it off, but she can’t do that with Catra like she can with Glimmer and Bow. She sighs, letting her head drop to her own pillow and wrapping her arms firmly around Catra.</p><p>“I’ll ask after we get dressed. If you need space, I want you to have clothes on before you bolt,” Adora tells her. She bends her head down, intending to nuzzle Catra’s hair again to assure her, but Catra pulls back to narrow her eyes at Adora. With trepidation, Adora immediately releases her, but Catra doesn’t try to get further away, just watching Adora and thudding her tail against the mattress.</p><p>“One of us is going to have a panic attack. Spit it out,” Catra orders, her voice slightly more awake, but no less rough. Adora sighs, closing her eyes as she goes a bit limp with defeat into the sheets. Catra is going to run now.</p><p>“I’m not asking for anything but what we are right now. I just want to know what that is,” Adora tries, because <em>what are we</em> might be the most direct way to ask the question, but she is pretty sure that would make Catra bolt all the way back to her old apartment in the city. Catra stills in the bed beside her, her heart pounding. All Adora can do is wait.</p><p>After several tense seconds, Catra lets out a long breath. Adora can <em>feel</em> her counting. Catra rolls over, flat on her back, and breathes in slow. It takes several counts of <em>in, out</em> before Adora realizes she is meditating. Adora bites her lip, cautiously edging a bit closer but carefully not touching her. Catra opens her eyes, but she stares up at the ceiling instead of looking at Adora.</p><p>“We’re friends,” she responds. Adora’s heart doesn’t sink – she knew that was how Catra categorized them, regardless of what either of them want – but she also knows that answer is <em>wrong</em>.</p><p>“And roommates. Who get off together,” Adora points out. Catra hisses, her ears pinning back as she glares up at the ceiling. Both their hearts are pounding. Adora doesn’t know what they are, but she knows <em>friends</em> isn’t the end of it. Glimmer isn’t going to accept that answer and neither is Adora.</p><p>“We don’t <em>get off</em> together we just- do it at the same time- You know what, why am I arguing this?” Catra huffs, crossing her arms pointedly, although the effect is cut somewhat by the fluffy duvet on top of her. Adora waits. Catra is irritated, but she isn’t mad. They <em>do</em> get off together, and Adora is only expecting that to increase now that they share a bed and consent isn’t a question, but she isn’t going to argue about that. If denying it makes Catra more comfortable, she can let it go.</p><p>For several long moments, Catra just glares upwards. Then she turns over, pointedly showing Adora her back. <em>Follow me</em>, comes through the bond as a clear hope, so Adora edges closer and wraps an arm around Catra’s waist. Some of the tension in her body leaks away. After several long seconds of silence, she sighs.</p><p>“We’re soulmates,” is what she comes up with, and, yeah, that is the <em>right</em> answer. They are so deeply intertwined, they never could have stopped at just friends. Soulmates makes it sound more romantic than it is, but it <em>almost</em> captures the importance in a word.</p><p>“Soulmates,” Adora agrees, dropping a light kiss to Catra’s shoulder. Catra begins to purr.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Adora is getting snuggles. Catra <em>isn’t</em> jealous, she just doesn’t know who Adora would be cuddling right now considering Catra is in the ranch office. She tries to ignore Adora’s delight at being nuzzled against, glaring at the screen in front of her. She is also trying to ignore how smug Adora is that Catra is annoyed by whatever attention she is getting.</p><p>Luckily, a reprieve comes when Micah comes walking in the office doors. He is usually down at his clinic during the workday, but he or Angella sometimes drive over to see each other for lunch. The two of them are disgusting, the kind of couple you see <em>look</em> at each other and already know they are soulmates. Whenever Micah shows up, however, it is an instant guarantee of Catra being granted a long lunch so the family can spend time together.</p><p>Angella looks up from and her desk and immediately beams upon seeing Micah, despite the fact she must have known he was coming. Unlike Catra, Micah doesn’t try to hide things from his soulmate.</p><p>“You’re free to go until after lunch, Catra,” Angella orders to the office at large. She hasn’t looked away from her husband. Catra, having already saved her work, immediately bolts up and grabs her hat off the wall. All she has to do is grab her lunch out of the fridge and she is free to drive over to the stable and find out <em>what</em> Adora is doing.</p><p>She shouldn’t be surprised, probably, when she arrives to find Adora out back of the stable, hugging Swift Wind and laughing as he nibbles at her hair – and her <em>bikini straps</em>. Because, yes, the part that Catra <em>is </em>surprised by is that Adora was apparently wearing a fucking bikini under her clothes all morning. They don’t get dressed at the same time and Catra didn’t <em>know</em>. Adora’s clothes are folded neatly on a bench against the side of the stable.</p><p>Catra is absolutely <em>stunned</em>, staring at Adora half naked in just a sports bikini, her skin glistening in the sunlight. She is soaking wet, clearly getting as much of a bath as she is attempting to give Swift Wind. This explains why Adora’s farmer’s tan is only mild, but how Catra has been missing the opportunity to see water drops roll down her soulmate’s arms in the afternoon sun for <em>weeks</em> without anyone telling her to get her ass down to the barn is a true mystery.</p><p>Adora turns to her, a broad smirk firmly in place. Catra knows she has to look ridiculous, her jaw hanging open, face flushed, and tail lashing, but what is she <em>supposed</em> to do. Swift Wind nudges at Adora’s back, trying to encourage Adora to begin playing with him again. Adora’s grin only grows wider as she picks up that Catra has never hated him more than in <em>this moment</em>. Other people aren’t allowed to snuggle Adora anyway, but especially not while she is <em>naked and dripping wet</em>.</p><p>Catra growls as she stalks forward, practically plastering herself against the low fence surrounding the grooming area. The sun is beating down on them, but it would only do anything to dry Adora if she didn’t still have the water <em>running</em>. Catra wants to yank her out of the enclosure, pin her against the side of the barn, and drag her tongue up from the criminally-low waistband of her little red bikini all the way up her stomach.</p><p>Catra isn’t religious, but she thanks every god that it is Thursday. Adora flushes crimson at her thoughts, suddenly shifting to stand with her legs closed rather than the superhero pose she was using before, proudly showing off her dripping wet muscles. Swift Wind snorts behind her, seeming to draw Adora out of her reverie. Blazing crimson, Adora hurries over to the faucet to turn off the water.</p><p>“What’s the matter, princess? Forgot your sunscreen?” Catra drawls when Adora looks up from the faucet to glare at her, as if Catra can be <em>blamed</em> for her dirty thoughts in the face of all this. “You baited me, Baywatch,” Catra returns, raising an eyebrow. Adora is so red she <em>looks</em> like she forgot sunscreen, but Catra knows for a fact that she didn’t. Adora promised her she would get a new sunscreen that didn’t smell so strongly so it wouldn’t bother Catra when she put it on, but she has to special order it so it hasn’t arrived yet.</p><p>“Swift Wind gets really playful around water, okay? I end up soaked no matter what,” Adora defends, cheeks blazing, as she comes over to Catra and leans down to cross her arms over the fence. Catra flushes. Adora is wearing a sports bikini, but this angle gives her an ample view of the water dripping down Adora’s cleavage. Catra coughs, looking quickly away.</p><p>“You’re going to pay for this, princess,” Catra promises. Adora, to her dismay, only gets turned on by her threat.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Catra starts touching herself as soon as she home that night, working Adora up and then <em>stopping</em>. Adora is still stuck at the stable, but Catra can do whatever she wants in their house. She spends the afternoon toying with Adora, starting to touch herself and then stopping for some time again. Sometimes she stops when Adora is getting close to giving in and making her way to the cot tack room.</p><p>Adora never <em>asks</em> Catra to stop. It is absolute torture, but it feels incredible too. When she finishes her duties, Catra has stopped again. She is smug, still turned on but doing nothing about it. Adora drives home clenching the wheel, pent up and already picturing what she is going to do once she is showered.</p><p>Catra is completely smug when Adora narrows her eyes at her upon entering the bedroom. She has the curtains open and is curled in a half circle, nuzzling down into the warmed sheets. She lifts her head just to grin at Adora, her tail thudding against the mattress.</p><p>“What’s the matter, princess? Frustrated?” she practically <em>coos</em>, smug and victorious, though Adora has no clue what she thinks she has won. Adora is, instantly, <em>wet</em>. Catra’s eyes are sparking with her pleasure as Adora huffs and crosses to the closet, stripping out of everything but her bikini and dropping her clothes in the <em>super dirty</em> laundry basket. She has to split them up into two categories to keep anything nice from getting dirt rubbed into it.</p><p>Catra’s eyes blow out when Adora steps out of the closet, her fur puffing up just a little. Adora sends her a smirk, cocky about the reaction despite how she knows she is far from in charge here. Catra has <em>intentions</em>, Adora can feel it even if she doesn’t know what they are. Catra sits up, licking her lips as she continues to just <em>look</em> at Adora, but Adora isn’t paying attention to Catra’s face anymore.</p><p>The duvet slips down as Catra sits up and Adora comes to realize that Catra is <em>naked</em>. She flushes, and now they are both staring, in awe of their half-exposed partner. After several long seconds, Catra swallows and clears her throat. Adora only manages to tear her eyes away from Catra’s chest through great force of will. They’ve lived together for two weeks now, but Adora has never seen Catra naked, and she is kind of stunned.</p><p>Catra is flushed, her tail twitching under the blanket. She is looking in the general area of Adora’s shoulder, her ears pricked forward and pupils still <em>round</em>.</p><p>“Is this okay?” Catra asks, her voice soft and anxious. Adora can feel how badly she <em>wants</em>, but she is scared of hurting Adora. Adora swallows, resisting the urge to look down again. She doesn’t <em>think</em> Catra is offering to have sex, but she really can’t be sure, not with her naked and twitching like this.</p><p>“What- what do you want?” Adora manages to mumble, embarrassed and flustered and <em>flushing</em>. She shifts in place. She wants to fidget, but she really can’t. She has nothing but her own hands to loop around her fingers. Catra flushes, finally looking away to reach down for the duvet. With one hand, she pulls it back over her chest. With the other, she flips the duvet back beside her, offering Adora the empty spot.</p><p>“Just- what we usually do, I guess. I just wanted you here. I kept stopping because it wasn’t enough without you,” Catra admits, her cheeks blazing. Adora blinks at her. She thought Catra was just playing with her, almost getting her off in public before edging off again, but that makes the <em>intensity</em> she was feeling from Catra make sense. She wanted to come herself, she just couldn’t get there.</p><p>Adora swallows and cautiously sits on the edge of the bed. Catra’s heat passed a week ago. She could probably consent then, and she definitely can now. If this is what she wants, Adora will be happy to take it, but she can feel anxiety coming from Catra. Mentally, she reaches out. Catra immediately gets more flustered, looking away from her completely for a moment. She draws in a breath, clearly trying to gather herself despite how her thighs are clenched together.</p><p>“I just don’t want to do this if it is going to hurt you. I’m still- not- I don’t know. I just want this. I have for a while. And the bed is plenty big enough anyway, it doesn’t make sense for you to be out on the couch,” Catra tells her, clutching the duvet against herself as her tail thuds, causing the duvet to twitch. Adora swallows, staring at Catra’s hunched shoulders.</p><p>Catra wants <em>so badly</em>, and it isn’t even about desire. She just wants Adora to be with her. She got jealous earlier, which was hysterical considering it was over <em>Swift Wind</em>, but Adora can’t help and wonder if it planted the seeds of insecurity in her. Catra does want this, no part of Adora is doubting that – she thought about it a lot during her heat, though neither of them brought it up – but she wonders if Catra is worried about staking her claim.</p><p>Adora reaches for the edge of the duvet and lifts it, carefully sliding beneath it to lay in Catra’s usual spot – Catra is already taking up hers. Catra draws in a sharp breath, hope and desire sparking in her chest, but she doesn’t look over at Adora, still unsure.</p><p>“I’m never going to do this with anyone but you, Catra. If you aren’t ready for a relationship, that’s okay. I’m still happy to do just this. You trusting me with more isn’t <em>hurting me</em>,” Adora promises her, reaching across the gap between them to squeeze her shoulder. Catra makes a soft sound, her breath coming a bit unevenly, but she leans into the touch and soon Adora is massaging her.</p><p>“I don’t know if I’ll ever- I don’t know. I’ve always wanted you. It’s easier to make this about sex,” Catra admits, quietly. Adora makes her best reassuring sound, reaching over to wrap her arms around Catra and pull her close, hugging her. Catra immediately turns to hide in her neck, breathing her in as she lets herself finally relax now that Adora hasn’t reacted badly.</p><p>Given that Catra was willing to make out with strangers in clubs, Adora <em>knew</em> sex was easier for her than feelings. She already suspected that they would be having sex long before Catra said “I love you”, if they ever got there at all. She cradles Catra close, uncaring about the nudity between them. Okay, she <em>cares -</em> Catra is super soft and it is amazing to feel her fur head-to-toe – but this embrace isn’t about desire, it is about comfort.</p><p>“Okay. Then we’re friends, and roommates, and we also have sex,” Adora agrees, pressing a kiss into the top of Catra’s hair. Catra actually laughs at that, though she finishes it off with a growl and playful nip at the side of Adora’s neck. Adora knows it <em>could</em> be argued that they are in a relationship already, but that discussion would make Catra run for the hills. If Catra is never comfortable acknowledging their status, though, she can be okay with that – she knows Catra isn’t going anywhere unless Adora drives her away.</p><p>“I want to feel you,” Catra murmurs, quietly. Adora closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.</p><p>“Okay,” she agrees, opening her eyes to smile down at Catra.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>At first, it is almost their usual arrangement. They touch themselves, carefully avoiding contact with each other even though it would be so <em>easy</em> to reach over. Adora slides her bikini briefs off and loses them somewhere in the sheets. Hearing the way Adora breathes her name – <em>feeling</em> the desire burning in her when Catra releases one of her soft sounds – drives Catra up the wall, until her desire is too much to be contained within her own skin.</p><p>She rolls over, pushes closer, until she is half-sprawled on Adora and can bite her shoulder. Adora cries out, rolling her hips into her own hand. Her breathing becomes heavy, a slight whine on every exhale. She <em>loves</em> it, pleasure radiating out from the points of Catra’s fangs. On Catra’s part, the feeling of Adora’s skin against her fangs eases her.</p><p>Her desire was burning her up and burning her <em>down</em>, leaving smoldering ash in its wake but not letting her finally come. She was too worked up, too overwhelmed from how badly she needed it to finally come. With Adora crying out and rutting into her own hand beneath her – with her urges soothed and Adora practically drunk on desire and hormones – it is finally enough.</p><p>Catra comes keening and whimpering, the sounds hardly muffled by Adora’s shoulder. Like usual, the rush of her orgasm is enough to push Adora over a few seconds after her. As the blood rush subsides, Catra slowly releases Adora’s shoulder, careful of how she pulls her fangs off of her so she doesn’t cut her. Adora already has dark, pinprick bruises blossoming from the points of Catra’s fangs, but she doesn’t want to break skin. Catra licks slowly and gently against the spots, her purr rumbling as Adora gasps for air.</p><p>By the time Adora is able to think clearly again, the hormones and exhaustion have overtaken Catra. She drops her head onto Adora’s shoulder, trying to be mindful of the bruises as she cuddles into Adora’s neck. Adora hums softly, matching her purr, and a moment later she wraps her arms around Catra, holding her close as she nuzzles.</p><p>“That what you wanted?” she asks, voice breathless. Her tone is content bordering on <em>smug</em>. Catra flushes, her tail thudding heavily as she curls around Adora’s side, but she nods into her neck.</p><p>“This is just sex,” she warns, because her heart is <em>pounding</em>. It could just be from the adrenaline rush, but she needs to cut the racing speed somehow. The best way she knows to make herself comfortable is to force a safe distance. Immediately after she says it, she winces. It was unfair of her to even ask for this knowing Adora would give it regardless, but to then immediately dismiss Adora’s feelings-</p><p>She isn’t being fair to Adora. She can’t be. She doesn’t know how to give Adora what she wants – how to kiss her in the morning and hold her gently at night. Sex is visceral, a base instinct – that she can do. It doesn’t confer Adora any power over her. Adora might be stronger than her, but Catra has claws, and she could easily fend Adora off physically if she needed to. It is <em>emotionally</em> she is scared of.</p><p>To her surprise, Adora doesn’t feel hurt, or even crestfallen. Instead, she raises one hand to Catra’s cheek and cups it, carefully cradling her and encouraging Catra to look up at her. Flushing, Catra follows Adora’s touch. When she meets Adora’s gaze, she finds her entire expression soft and affectionate, a gentle smile curving at the edges of her mouth.</p><p>Her heart is soaring. Catra <em>doesn’t understand</em>. It isn’t the reaction she expected at all.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Catra is lying.</p><p>“Okay,” Adora agrees, leaning forward to kiss Catra’s forehead. Catra, stunned, lets Adora guide her back down to tuck beneath her chin. She won’t push anything that makes Catra uncomfortable, not when she can feel her heart. They have all the time in the world. Adora can give her the night – or the week, or the month, even the <em>year</em>.</p><p>Catra says it is just sex – she also wakes up every morning in Adora’s arms, grooms and scent marks her almost daily, makes jokes with her as they cook together, and, according to Glimmer the next week, starts getting <em>mopey</em> every time Adora has to miss lunch at the ranch office to take care of something at the stable.</p><p>“She is staring out the window and sighing dramatically. Unless a horse is bleeding, you’re coming up for lunch. I can only take so much lovestruck misery,” Glimmer tells her, after coming to the stable on the <em>pretense</em> of doing their inventory counts, even though that is Adora’s job and she already did it this morning. Adora can’t help but grin, stupidly happy at Catra missing her like this. Glimmer sends her an exasperated look.</p><p>“You could just <em>talk to her</em>,” she points out. Adora shrugs, still smiling to herself.</p><p>“Don’t need to. We’re comfortable with what we have. When she’s ready, she will tell me,” Adora assures her as leads Nose No Bounds out of his stall so she can do some training with him in the arena. Glimmer walks with her, if only so Adora can see her pretend to gag out of the corner of her eye. Adora rolls her eyes. “Oh, like you and Bow weren’t just as bad when you were dancing around each other,” Adora returns. Glimmer squawks, affronted because Adora is <em>right</em>.</p><p>“I was seventeen! And I didn’t want him to think I was objectifying him!” Glimmer protests, shoving at Adora’s arm. It doesn’t budge Adora, even as they step out into the blazing sun of the corral and she is forced to tip her hat brim down. Adora is well-aware of the whole thing, even if it started before she came to the ranch. Bow couldn’t get government healthcare to pay for his top surgery until he turned eighteen, but once his birthday hit, he was driving up to Bright Moon City for his operation.</p><p><em>Following</em> surgery, Bow discovered the joy of not only crop tops, but going completely shirtless once his scars healed. At seventeen and with a massive crush, Glimmer was <em>ruined</em>. Adora watched her accidently walk straight off the deck and into the pool once because she was caught up staring. Adora was still pretty new to the ranch, but it took no introduction to figure out what was going on there. They only managed to get together because Glimmer has never heard the definition of the word <em>subtle</em>.</p><p>“I’m not avoiding my feelings, Glimmer. We can <em>feel</em> each other’s emotions. It’s different when you’re soulmates, okay? She just needs time to get comfortable before she can open up like that. This is already going way faster than I thought it would,” Adora tells her, because if she brings up the Pool Incident, Glimmer is going to turn bright red. Glimmer, apparently grateful for Adora dropping it, does so in turn. She shrugs, pulling out her phone to eye her notifications.</p><p>“She’s like a puppy. Her tail tucks between her legs when she realizes you aren’t coming,” Glimmer tells her. Adora isn’t sure if that is supposed to be encouragement or a complaint, but she is too busy <em>bursting</em> over that image.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>On Saturday, Catra doesn’t get out of bed. Adora tiptoes around her like she always does when Catra manages to sleep in, but she isn’t sleeping. She just- needs the space. Adora picks up on it, clearly. Adora makes breakfast for them without complaint as Catra balls around Melog, and then she brings Catra’s food into the room for her.</p><p>“You want to be left alone today?” Adora asks, her voice gentle and nonjudgmental as she sets up a breakfast tray for Catra and then lightly pets her hair. Catra nods against the mattress. Adora drops her hand to her shoulder, squeezing once, and then returns to petting her soothingly. “Okay. Text me if you need anything or want me to come home,” Adora tells her, before quietly leaving the room to eat her own food at the kitchen table.</p><p>Catra unfurls to eat once she is alone. Adora only returns once to fetch her plate and change into proper work clothes. She pauses inside the bedroom door, tilting her head at Melog, but Catra tightens her arm around him and Adora promptly turns to leave. Melog needs to be at the barn during the weekdays to avoid him tearing anything up, but Catra is here, and she is definitely watching him carefully.</p><p>Catra isn’t- she isn’t <em>depressed</em>, she just needs the room to breathe. She needs to do nothing, to be weak and vulnerable, and have Adora do nothing – again, because once isn’t enough apparently. Catra hasn’t fled to her apartment for more than a few hours after work thus far, but though she is feeling more and more settled, she suspects she is always going to have bad days like this.</p><p>At least she has Melog. She spends the day alternately napping, cuddling and playing with her cat, and scrolling through the internet on her phone. Around midday, she has a long call with Entrapta, because she knows Scorpia will be able to tell if she calls her while she is depressed. She <em>isn’t</em>, but Scorpia would still pick up on her mood and call Perfuma in to talk about feelings or meditate.</p><p>She also meditates, because thinking about nothing sounds <em>fantastic</em>. Adora returns from her duties at the barn well after lunch – Lonnie is visiting once again, to get in one of her last riding sessions with What’s New Pussycat before the race on Friday – but despite being well into the afternoon, Adora cooks lunch for them both without having to ask Catra if she has eaten.</p><p>Catra growls at her when Adora enters the room with a plate, making presumptuous <em>assumptions</em>. The fact that she is right has no bearing on Catra’s annoyance. Adora, to her credit, remains entirely unaffected. She quietly shushes Catra, petting the top of her head to soothe her as she approaches. Reluctantly, Catra drops her growl, but it is only because the smell of food is making her stomach clench. Adora sets up the tray from this morning again, and Catra allows her to sit on the edge of the bed and pet Melog while she eats.</p><p>A bit later in the afternoon, Catra is back to pretending to nap when Adora comes wandering into the room with her phone out.</p><p>“Glimmer is inviting us over to swim. Do you want to come?” Adora asks, keeping her volume low to not disturb Catra. Catra hisses in response, which makes Adora huffs a laugh. “Yeah, I figured. Are you okay with me going, or do you want me to stay?” Adora asks her, circling around to the side of the bed to pet her once again. Catra just grumbles in response.</p><p>Adora has been either leaving her alone or asking yes-or-no questions that Catra doesn’t have to really <em>talk</em> to answer. There isn’t a one-word answer to a question phrased like that. Luckily, with her soulmate, she never really <em>needs</em> to talk. Adora nods at Catra’s silence, rubbing a little at the base of her ear as she does so.</p><p>“Okay. Text me if you decide you want me to come back, okay? I’ll just be a bit further up the road at Angella and Micah’s house,” Adora promises her, bending to press a kiss into her hair. Catra catches herself purring as Adora pulls away. Adora gives her a soft, touched smile before she walks away to disappear into her closet and change.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Catra bounces back after her depressive episode on Saturday, and just in time too. Adora is <em>always</em> anxious leading up to a race, and she needs Catra to steady her as the week progresses and the race draws closer. Adora confesses some things about how her junior competitions would go – the things Catra could feel but never understand through the bond.</p><p>“He only fostered me for the money – from the state, and from the competition purses. I never saw a penny of it. When I turned eighteen, I was supposed to keep living like that, with only the bare necessities as I worked myself to the bone so he could pocket all the winnings,” Adora admits Wednesday night, shaking on the floor of the kitchen. After a lot of internal debate, she asks for her medication.</p><p>Catra checks that she is sure, promising she won’t judge her if she needs it, but that she will be fine if Adora skips it. Adora is sure. She doesn’t want to be afraid like this when there is no <em>need</em> for it. Hordak isn’t here. Adora hasn’t seen him once since she bolted on her eighteenth birthday. The problem is that she isn’t worried about him, but rather disappointing everyone on the ranch.</p><p>“Shh, Adora. It’s okay, just relax. I’ll get your pills,” Catra assures her, placing a reassuring hand on Adora’s head as she stands. Adora remains seated on the tile, her legs unsteady and Melog in her lap, as Catra stretches up and fetches the meds from the cabinet, never removing her hand. She gets Adora one pill, along with a glass of water.</p><p>She pulls out her phone and texts someone as Adora takes a few deep breaths, waiting for it to kick in. Once Adora is feeling a bit better, Catra ushers them off to bed.</p><p>Suspiciously, Adora’s alarm never goes off, and no one mentions a thing about her being nearly two hours late to the stable the next morning, despite how it definitely forced Glimmer to get up an hour early to drive over and let the other grooms in.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Catra is wearing her boots for the first time. Catra scowls down at her feet as Adora kneels in the dirt parking lot, pulling on Catra’s boots for her while she sits in the passenger seat and sulks.</p><p>“All done, brat. Come on, we’re going to miss the turn-overs,” Adora tells her, standing and dusting off the knees of her riding pants. Catra raises her arms and doesn’t move, reaching for Adora with an expectant brow raised. “Seriously?” Adora asks, rolling her eyes, but the words are as fond as they are annoyed, and Adora is already bending down to wrap her arms around Catra and lift her out of the car.</p><p>Catra is absolutely being a brat, making Adora cajole her to get her out to the racetrack, but she is doing it for a <em>reason</em>. The more Catra makes her do, the more distracted Adora is, and the less she worries. The race isn’t for another hour, and if her anxiety was climbing all week, today has been the worst of it. Catra hasn’t wanted to suggest her pills, she always wants Adora to make that decision on her own, but Adora had looked at the cabinet and sighed as they were getting ready.</p><p>“I can’t take them. Not before a race. I need to be on my A game,” Adora explained to her as she weighed her options between two identical black cowboy hats before deciding to forgo a hat entirely because Lonnie likely will, and it will make her more streamlined.</p><p><em>More streamlined</em> means Adora is wearing a tight outfit from head-to-toe, which is distracting them both in its own way. Catra nuzzles into Adora’s neck as Adora grunts from the effort of lifting her out of the car and putting her on her own two feet. Catra doesn’t want to walk in these boots, but she also doesn’t want to be difficult enough it stops being fun, so she lets Adora slip an arm around her waist – <em>just</em> to steady her – and lead them into the racetrack through the side construction entrance.</p><p>The track is far from finished, but it is still a more uniform area to race than the old farm where they had been holding the county race previously, so Angella and Glimmer strung up an inordinate amount of fairy lights, someone brought a small stage, and there is a veritable buffet of homemade goods set up off to the side. Country songs play through speakers that have been dumped in a corner, the track’s PA system not yet installed, much less working.</p><p>No one cares about the half-built state of the arena. Catra swears <em>every person in town is here</em>. There are – okay, she doesn’t know how to begin estimating once the numbers get this high, but <em>multiple hundreds of people</em> are all idling around the area, though all of them are avoiding the track itself. The horses are already here, brought in at sundown and waiting by what Catra assumes is the starting gate.</p><p>This is a big, community event at the end of the day. The horse race is just the headlining act for it. It is as much a potluck and hoedown as it is anything else. Catra distracts Adora by pestering her with questions, asking about traditions, who cooked what, if she thinks a dish is safe for magicats, and forcing Adora to drag her away from loud gossipers before Catra snarls at them for daring to say her name.</p><p>By the end of the night, Catra is certain every person in town will be talking about how she and Adora are together, but she doesn’t care. Adora’s anxiety is building again, and Catra is doing everything she can to keep her steady, but when everybody they pass calls out a comment about Swift Wind, or the race, or light ribbing about Lonnie, there isn’t much Catra can do to <em>distract</em>.</p><p>“<em>Twenty minutes!”</em> someone shouts over the heads of the crowd, calling out the beginning of the race. Catra knows that should be Adora’s cue to go make sure Swift Wind is properly saddled, but the instant she hears the words, she begins to have a panic attack. She is trying to seem normal, but her eyes are wide with fear, and her breath is coming shallow. Catra makes an executive decision, wrapping herself around Adora’s arm, and dragging her from the crowd.</p><p>She doesn’t want to enter an area that is dangerous from the unfinished construction, so she ends up pulling them out from the arena entirely and pressing Adora up against the back of the stands, blanketing her and keeping her upright. Now they are alone, the full-blown panic attack has begun, Adora drawing in air desperately as if it will free her from her anxiety. Catra does her best to keep steady, holding Adora up and shielding her with her body.</p><p>“Shh, it’s alright. No one is going to be disappointed in you. I don’t care where you place, Adora,” Catra assures her, running her hands up and down Adora’s arms. Adora sucks in a breath, trying to hold it. “There you go. Good girl. How could I care about one race when you’re always so good to me?” Catra tries. Adora makes a soft, weak sound before she curls into Catra and buries her face in her neck, clutching her tightly. Catra hugs her back, making gentle, quieting rumbles to help her calm down.</p><p>“What if I lose and they realize I’m a terrible jockey and it was Swift Wind all along and they don’t want me to run the stable anymore?” Adora asks, her voice a petrified whisper. Catra draws in a breath. She thought Adora’s anxiety was just the echoes of the trauma she used to face, but this admission shows her that Adora has found a new boogeyman to torment her with the familiar fear of failure. Catra swallows, curling one arm up to stroke Adora’s hair.</p><p>“Glimmer and Angella don’t care where you place. I’ve talked with them,” Catra assures. Adora makes a disbelieving sound into her shoulder, but it is <em>true</em>. Glimmer and Angella were waiting for her at the meeting table the day after Catra texted Glimmer to go easy on Adora because she would be tired tomorrow. Catra hadn’t told them much, but she didn’t have to.</p><p>It turns out that Adora came to the ranch on her eighteenth birthday for more reasons than that she had bought a horse from there before. She and Glimmer were friends when they were in junior competitions together. Glimmer had witnessed Adora break down before a competition and comforted her. Adora’s fear, plus the way she straightened out and shut <em>down</em> when her father found them, gave Glimmer dark suspicions.</p><p>Glimmer came in third, but Adora came in second. Glimmer witnessed Adora begin crying in disappointment after she dismounted, despite still having won a trophy and a decent purse. She knew about Adora’s competition fears without Catra ever needing to tell her. She promised to go light on her duties for the rest of the week. Apparently the stable by itself generates enough work to keep Adora busy without her needing any extra add-ons.</p><p>“Adora, I’m going to tell you what is going to happen when you cross the finish line, regardless of where you place, alright?” Catra asks, pressing a kiss just above Adora’s ear. The noise Adora lets out this time is more cautious, questioning but hopeful. “I’m going to be there, waiting on the other side of the fence. You’re going to ride up on that beast of yours - and you’re going to give me a hand because I have no clue what the <em>fuck</em> I’m doing - and then you’re going to pull me onto Swift Wind with you, and I’m going to kiss you. On the mouth,” Catra explains.</p><p>She adds the final clarification, because knowing Adora, she would assume Catra meant on the forehead or something. Adora lets out an utterly conflicted noise – not that Adora is conflicted, but the noise certainly can’t decide what it is. Shocked definitely, and tinged with laughter too, but hope is present in equal measure with disbelief.</p><p>“On the mouth, huh?” Adora mumbles into her neck, a wavering question and attempt at a humorous tone. Catra hums, squeezing her arms a little tighter around Adora’s back.</p><p>“Yeah, dummy,” she assures, pressing a soft kiss to the top of her head.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Adora’s anxiety can’t be healed over one conversation, but apparently Catra <em>can</em> give her something she is looking forward to more than she is fearing the race. Adora checks Swift Wind’s tack in record time, then does it a second time just to be sure, and then she practically vibrates as she gets up in the saddle. Adora has been dreading this moment for weeks, but when the gates are dropped and Swift Wind surges forward, she feels nothing but elation.</p><p>Catra’s heart is soaring at seeing Adora eager to race. Adrenaline is pouring through Adora as she urges Swift Wind forward, weaving expertly around the track. Swift Wind may be aged for a racehorse, but the bond Adora has with him can’t be beat. They know each other, trust each other, and Adora can urge him to make tight turns that a colt could never hope to match.</p><p>It is close, but close doesn’t matter. Lonnie can’t take the path through the course that Adora can, and she crosses the finish line first with her heart pounding, a blood rush drowning out the cheers as she slows Swift Wind down to a trot. Her thoughts aren’t even on the fact that they won – they are on Catra pressed up against the edge of the wall, grinning madly at her.</p><p>Adora makes a beeline for Catra. Vaguely, she can register Lonnie calling something out to her, breathlessly, but nothing matters except the way Catra grins and climbs on top of the fence. Adora pulls Swift Wind up beside her, barely having to reach down with Catra perched atop the fence, and hauls her up onto the saddle with her.</p><p>Adora has to shift back to make it work, and it would probably be an extremely uncomfortable position if she <em>gave a shit</em>, but all she can think about is the smile on Catra’s face as Catra wraps her arms around Adora’s shoulders and leans in, her eyes fluttering closed. Part of Adora still wasn’t expecting Catra to truly go through with this, but she draws in a sharp breath and then Catra’s lips are soft against her own.</p><p>Adora has to keep one hand on the reins, but her own eyes close as she wraps her free hand around Catra’s back, kissing her back with pure love bursting in her ribs. The world around them – the cheering, and wolf whistles, and music, and the pounding of the other horses’ hooves – falls away, insignificant as everything Adora has ever known turns on a pin around the soft slide of Catra’s lips and the love flowing between them.</p><p>Adora is still breathless, and they are forced to part, but they don’t go far. Adora presses their foreheads together, hauling in air as Catra clings to her in turn.</p><p>“I told you,” Catra says, her voice soft and affectionate. She could be referring to any number of things right now, and Adora doesn’t care what any of them are.</p><p>She kisses Catra again.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>They don’t leave for another two hours, and Adora even manages to force Catra to participate in the hoedown despite the fact she is wearing shoes for the first time ever and is <em>not</em> steady. Adora ends up leading Swift Wind around on his lead, showing him off like everyone else is doing with their horses apparently, and after ten solid minutes of coaching, Catra ends up in the saddle for it, stiff and clenching all the muscles in her legs to keep herself stood up in the stirrups like Adora explained to her.</p><p>People laugh at her anxiety on the horse, but Adora is looking at her with pure love, so Catra lets Swift Wind and <em>herself</em> be shown off to the crowd. By the time people are starting to trickle away, Catra is <em>exhausted</em>, and Adora has kissed her nearly a dozen times. Glimmer keeps trying to sidle up to them with a knowing grin on her face and Catra keeps pointedly directing them away from her.</p><p>“It was fun, right?” Adora asks as they stumble back into the bedroom that night. Catra ditched her boots the second she got in the car, and now they are in the privacy of their own home, she begins shedding her dust-covered clothes, ignoring Melog twining around her legs, mewing as he gets the dust all over himself as well.</p><p>“Yes, fine, it was fun, but I don’t know why human parties have to be so <em>loud</em>,” Catra tells her, letting out a sigh of relief as the last of her clothes are shed and she can shake out her coat, fluffing it up a little.</p><p>“Let me,” Adora tells her, already reaching over to the vanity for Catra’s brush. Catra allows it, and they end up sat on the bed in just their underwear, Adora brushing out her coat and getting the itchy dust off her. Adora nuzzles her hair, cheek, and neck throughout, pressing kisses there and humming happily when Catra purrs in response.</p><p>Eventually, Catra may still be a bit dusty, but she is <em>exhausted</em>, and she flops back into Adora’s arms. Adora chuckles, taking the hint to set aside the brush and rearranging them under the covers. Catra purrs as she tucks herself beneath Adora’s chin, breathing in her scent and relaxing down into their soft bed.</p><p>“Hey, Catra,” Adora prompts, her smile audible in her voice, and a mischievous light in her heart. Catra huffs, refusing to acknowledge the prompt, but that is enough of an acknowledgement for Adora. “What are we?” Adora asks. Catra pulls back to glare at Adora’s shit-eating grin. Adora begins cackling as Catra reaches over for her pillow and hits Adora with it.</p><p>Adora <em>knows the fucking answer</em>, she’s just being an ass. Catra nips at Adora’s shoulder, chiding her as she settles back down in her arms. Adora’s chest is still rumbling with the occasional chuckle, but she is quieting down in preparation for sleep. She doesn’t actually need Catra to say it to know the answer – advantages of being mentally connected and all that.</p><p>Maybe Catra just needs to say it for herself though.</p><p>“We’re soulmates,” she whispers, curling in tight against Adora as if she is a shield that will protect her from the <em>weight</em> of that statement. She doesn’t mean it like she did before, where their connection was a scientific fact, unrelated to emotions. Now she means it like the movies, like two people drawn together across the world, like Micah calling Angella to remind her to eat because he can feel his wife is getting hungry but hyper-focused on her work.</p><p>Now she means it like she always has but was too afraid to say, think, <em>feel </em>it. Now she says it and Adora’s entire expression melts as she reaches down and cradles Catra’s cheek, warmth pouring through the bond between them and flooding Catra’s fur with love and <em>being</em> loved.</p><p>“Yeah, we are,” Adora agrees.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>It only took 69k words for Catra to admit she has feelings.<br/>Baywatch was a show about lifeguards if you missed that reference, by the way. It taught a lot of people CPR actually, but also the lifeguards were hot.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Two hearts (joined together)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>As always, Perfuma is a trans woman. If you hadn’t read it already, check out my <a href="https://n7punk.tumblr.com/post/645951599964995584/ihtwcyn-extra-2-half-moon">fic extra on Half-Moon</a>, because some things in this (and the next) chapter might not make much sense without it. This chapter takes place over almost two years.<br/>CW: brief mention of kids/pregnancy/trying to get pregnant by another character.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Adora doesn’t expect Catra to change overnight – she never did. Catra is cuddly and then hissy. Sometimes those hisses are playful and she wants Adora to give chase. Other times she retreats into herself. Adora gives her room. Even on days when Catra can’t kiss her or admit her feelings, Adora likes having her around, in the other room or up at her house while Adora does her work around the ranch.</p><p>Adora is happy as long as Catra is safe, nearby, and content, even if some days she struggles with <em>happy</em>. Adora doesn’t want to think about what Catra used to do on her bad days – actually, she <em>knows</em>. Catra went out into the city and lost herself in mosh pits that damaged her hearing, drank too much in clubs, and got piercings because she would rather feel the pain than the suffocating emotions prickling beneath her skin.</p><p>“Sentenced warrior,” Catra mutters one night, a few weeks in. It started off as a bad day for her, but she had work. Luckily, Angella’s work on building up the town has progressed enough Catra is working three days a week at the ranch now, and Catra was able to deal with her bad day at the ranch office. If she had been at the bank, Adora thinks she would have retreated into herself further, but by lunch she was practically crawling into Adora’s arms again, feeling good enough to seek the assurance she wanted.</p><p>Adora pauses, in the middle of massaging Catra’s ears. Catra loves it, usually going completely limp in Adora’s lap and purring as she does so. Her purr stuttered out a few moments ago, but Adora could tell she was thinking, so she just kept up the affection. In her hands, Catra pointedly flicks her right ear, jiggling her piercings.</p><p>“Half-Moon had a secondary class of warriors. They would usually guard the mines or the tunnels to the surface, living alone or in small groups for years. Once you chose the path, you walked it for life, and were banned from having children or marriage. The only way for a warrior to retire was to die in battle,” Catra explains, a mumble against Adora’s shoulder. Adora draws in a breath, blinking at the arrangement of piercings in Catra’s ear. Two rings close together, one near the edge of her ear and one set further in, with a third ring near the tip.</p><p>Piercings could convey one’s status or job in ancient times for magicats. The practice never died out entirely, but it is rare now. Most of the jobs and positions of status the piercings once represented no longer exist. Which piercings magicats get now are chosen either based on if they identify with the meaning the piercing arrangement once had, or if their family historically had them.</p><p>“Why?” Adora asks, softly, resuming her massaging. Catra is silent for several long moments. Though some piercings have meanings recorded in academic writing, magicats have always been secretive about the practice, and most information online is completely unverifiable, if not outright lies. Catra must have gone to another magicat to get the piercings.</p><p>“You could choose the path, and those that did usually did it to regain their or their family’s honor. Otherwise, you were sentenced to it. Magicat ear piercings don’t heal over like humans’ can. The holes would always be there. The gauge and location showed their meanings. Ear checks were common occurrences before you would be allowed in some establishments, or to be issued a marriage license and stuff,” Catra mutters, her ears pinning back. Adora draws in a breath, finally understanding.</p><p>Catra felt she was sentenced – to always fight, to always be alone, to know no peace and die kicking and screaming. Her trauma was so absolute, she thought her childhood had cursed her for life. Adora wants to cry for her soulmate, but it won’t help. She takes Catra’s pierced ear in her hand so it won’t fold over and carefully presses kisses into the back of it.</p><p>Catra shudders a little, wriggling closer until she can wrap herself fully around Adora, pinning her against the bed.</p><p>“You were never alone, Catra. I was always with you. I always will be,” Adora whispers into her soft fur. Catra chokes down a sob, nodding a little. It makes her ear slip from Adora’s hand, so instead she wraps her arms around her soulmate and holds her close as her barriers come slipping down.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Adora <em>won’t stop touching her ears</em> now. Catra is sitting on her pool chair, <em>squirming</em> as Adora massages, pets, and <em>tugs</em> on her ears. Catra is sitting on her tail to keep it from lashing as Adora, completely casual in appearance but <em>brimming</em> with glee inside, stands beside her and chats casually with Glimmer. Catra and Glimmer are supposed to be lying in the sun, enjoying the fantastic view of their two partners swimming in the pool alongside Angella and Micah, but Adora came over so Catra would put more sunscreen on her.</p><p>The entire thing is a torment. Catra didn’t want to even <em>touch</em> the sunscreen, but when Adora suggested she have Glimmer do it instead, Catra’s jealousy won out. She ended up rubbing the sunscreen all over Adora’s bare skin, feeling her up just a bit as she did so, and then Adora turned it on her by insisting she needed to wait for the sunscreen to dry before she got in the water.</p><p>So she took up her spot standing beside Catra, yammering away to Glimmer as she <em>toys</em> with Catra. The careful petting and massaging makes Catra want to go limp, but every tug sends a bolt of excitement straight between her legs. Catra is just short of panting at this point, irrevocably horny, but no one else in Angella’s backyard knows anything about hybrid anatomy and has any idea Adora is essentially fondling her in front of everyone.</p><p>This is revenge for every time Catra touched herself while Adora was at the stables, probably. Maybe Adora is just terribly horny herself. Either way, Catra finds herself alternating between purring and growling as Adora plays with her ears. Glimmer lowers her sunglasses to send Catra a questioning and amused look, clearly unsure why Catra is both growling and allowing Adora to continue, but Catra is <em>not</em> explaining it to her.</p><p>She probably thinks the tugs are just annoying. No, Catra is so turned on right now that she is grateful she is in loungewear if only for the extra layer of her shorts hiding the fact she is fucking <em>soaking</em>. If it wouldn’t make it so obvious what Adora has been doing, Catra would grab her by her tiny bikini straps and drag her into the changing room so she can finally <em>get off</em>.</p><p>“You’re dry, Adora,” Catra points out, her voice gruff from the effort to not sound breathless. Adora, the cheeky little shit, pouts as she tugs on Catra’s ear one last time. Catra suppresses a shiver as Adora’s hands fall away.</p><p>“I don’t think I am,” she returns, the corner of her mouth quirking. No, Adora is actually just as wet as Catra is, but her <em>sunscreen</em> has dried. Adora tosses her a wink before she turns and walks back to the pool, jumping in it excitedly with no further acknowledgement of the wrecked state she has left Catra in.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Adora probably should have expected retaliation. On Monday, Catra comes stalking into the stable the moment she is off work, grabs Adora by one of her overall straps, and yanks her into the tack room. She has her shoved against the inside of the door and the knob locked almost instantly, her mouth insistent and demanding against Adora’s as she struggles to catch up – and catch her breath.</p><p>They already had sex on Saturday night after swimming, Catra climbing on top of her and riding her fingers, but this is Catra’s true retaliation.</p><p>“You’re such a shithead. At least I was touching <em>myself</em>,” Catra grumbles between kisses, but she sounds far from <em>annoyed</em>. Catra presses close, plastering their bodies together so Adora can <em>feel</em> what she is wearing beneath her jeans. Okay, so Catra didn’t come <em>straight</em> to the barn after work. Adora moans, flexing forward to try to rub herself against the outline of the strap in Catra’s pants, but she is cut off by Catra’s hands covering her mouth.</p><p>“Too loud, princess. You want to get caught? You’ll make things <em>awkward</em> for me at work. Behave,” Catra chides, bending down to bite Adora’s neck harshly even as she makes the statement. Adora groans, her eyes fluttering closed. Catra knows what it does to Adora when she gets like this, but Adora also decidedly <em>cannot</em> stay quiet when Catra is giving orders.</p><p>Catra’s skin is burning up from desire. Adora hadn’t noticed Catra putting barriers up to keep her desire as secret as she could from Adora, but now she is dropping them, Adora can feel how <em>intense</em> it is. She knows why Catra is acting so feisty when she has a fire burning inside of her, but she also knows only one thing truly gets Catra off when she is like this. There is no way Adora could stay quiet while taking the strap Catra got them a few weeks ago anyway.</p><p>She turns her head out from under Catra’s hand. Immediately, Catra drops her hand, pausing as she senses the <em>no</em> on the horizon already. Not that they aren’t going to have sex here and <em>now</em>, but they certainly aren’t doing it the way Catra planned.</p><p>“Kitten,” Adora says, a single word that causes Catra to shiver against her. Catra meets her gaze, her eyes burning with heat and <em>want</em>. Adora raises her arms, wrapping them around Catra and then beginning to advance slowly, walking Catra backwards until she bumps against one of the empty tables for servicing gear in the room. Catra flushes, her ears pinning back as she realizes that Adora is serious about switching the dominance. Adora grins, leaning forward to whisper in her ear.</p><p>“I’ll take care of you. Hand it over?” Adora asks, running her hands soothingly up and down Catra’s sides. Catra loves when Adora takes care of her – nothing makes her feel better than dropping all her suspicion and letting Adora bring her over – but she has to be in the right mood for it. Her body wants this right now, but Adora has to check in to see if she actually feels up for it.</p><p>The best kind of shame is burning in Catra now, the want to be taken care of warring with the instinct to take charge. Adora always defers power to Catra when she wants it – truthfully she always does it <em>anyway</em>, regardless of their position – but she can feel how turned on Catra is right now. She was excited to enact her revenge not because she wanted to take Adora, but because she wanted to rile her up.</p><p>She <em>succeeded</em>. Adora wants to touch Catra greedily, to bend her over the table and fuck her until she is moaning Adora’s name, but she also doesn’t want to push too much. That wouldn’t be good for Catra, so it wouldn’t be good for Adora. She gently nuzzles the side of Catra’s head as Catra thinks it over, pressing kisses into her short hair as the heat inside her threatens to take over.</p><p>“Be gentle,” Catra breathes, softly. The words take effort. She wants this, but she always worries. She used the strap on Adora four times before she was comfortable with letting Adora use it on her once. Adora presses a kiss to the base of her ear.</p><p>“Always, kitten. I’ll take care of you,” Adora promises her.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>This isn’t how Catra told herself this would go, but she can’t deny it is what she <em>wants</em>. It feels like so much to allow this – to let Adora fuck her on any day of the week, but especially outside of the sanctuary of their bedroom.</p><p>The stable is a safe space to her though, even if it is not as safe as their bed. Adora holds her and murmurs sweet assurances as she undresses and, blushing violently, takes off the strap-on harness. Adora steps back from her only to undress herself and pull on the harness. After Catra helps her do the buckles, Adora lifts her up and places her gently on the edge of the table, her legs spread to allow Adora to stand between them.</p><p>“Still good?” Adora asks, pressing a kiss into the tufted fur at the corner of her jaw. Catra blushes and nods, reaching out to wind her arms around Adora’s shoulders. Adora kisses her cheek before she pulls back enough to line up and presses in slow. Catra bites down on a soft noise in her throat as she immediately abandons holding onto Adora’s to lie back on the table instead. The twinge of pain was small, but she didn’t <em>like</em> it. Lying back is going to be a better angle than carefully perching on the edge of the table. Adora hesitates, pulling her hips back and frowning down at Catra.</p><p>“Can you wait here for me? I’m going to get your blanket from the cot,” Adora tells her, raising her hands to pet soothingly down Catra’s ribs. Catra flushes, but she nods. Adora bends and presses a kiss just above her hip before she steps back and lets her hands fall away, crossing quickly to the table the cot is stowed under and retrieving the throw blanket from it.</p><p>Catra, self-conscious but also needing to move anyway, slips off the table. She leans against it, her thighs clenched together as she shivers and waits. Adora returns quickly, throwing the blanket over the table and balling it up on the far side to create a pillow. Carefully, Adora reaches over and places her hands on her hips, directing Catra to stand with her butt pressed against the edge of the blanket-covered table.</p><p>Catra knows she intends to lift her again and lay her out. The problem is that the angle of laying down, while making it much easier to take the strap, also forces her to be further away from Adora. She likes them to be pressed together whenever they have sex, close and present. It helps Catra to feel safe, knowing it is Adora pressed over and <em>in</em> her.</p><p>Flushing, Catra turns around in Adora’s arms. Adora’s hands immediately fall away when Catra begins to move, but she seems a bit stunned when Catra reaches back and guides them to land on her hips again, this time with Adora pressed against her back.</p><p>“Drape over me,” Catra instructs. She thinks this is what Adora wanted to do anyway. Adora draws in a breath and then presses a soft kiss to the base of her neck.</p><p>“You sure?” she asks, making the tension in Catra’s body just slip away as she nods, leaning down over the table. Adora follows her, draping over her back as Catra balls the blanket up to pillow her head on both it and her arms, her right cheek pressing into the fabric so she can still use her periphery to look out.</p><p>Catra breathes in and out, settling into the position as Adora waits for her to tell her she can go ahead. Yes, the position is more vulnerable in some ways, but Catra is never nervous about giving Adora her back and trusting her to watch it. She would rather be bent over with Adora at her back than laid out but exposed. She lets her eyes slip closed as she nods into the blanket, shifting her hips a little just to feel the toy brush against her.</p><p>“Do you want to do it, or should I?” Adora asks softly, kissing her shoulder. Catra rumbles softly, rolling her hips back more earnestly now. The first time they did this, Catra insisted Adora hold still and let her do all the work to help her feel like she was in control of the situation. Catra didn’t end up needing that – Adora is always so gentle with her she should have known the fear was unfounded – but she still likes to start them off initially.</p><p>Adora gets her intent, reaching out to take the base of the toy in her hand and slip it properly between Catra’s legs. Adora holds it steady, guiding it a little as Catra rubs again it, causing excitement to build under her skin. She lets that excitement build until her unease slips away in the face of her desire. She may be facedown in the stable, but Adora has set up a comfortable spot for her, and she is blanketing over her to keep her safe.</p><p>Catra pushes her hips back onto the toy, whimpering a little as it presses in until it is buried deep in her, her hips flush with Adora’s. Adora makes a soft, soothing sound as she drops her hand from the strap to pet down Catra’s side, bracing the other on the table beside her.</p><p>“Good girl. It feels so good,” Adora assures her, kissing her shoulder again. Catra squirms a little, rolling her hips again. Adora discovered she loves praise on only their second night <em>really</em> having sex together, and though it will always be a point of shame for Catra, she soaks it up whenever Adora gives it to her.</p><p>“You can move,” she tells Adora, her voice a little breathless. She got them started, she is comfortable, and now she <em>needs</em> Adora to fuck her. The heat is nearly suffocating, her hands clutching desperately at the blanket balled up beneath her.</p><p>Adora presses one last kiss to her shoulder, and then does as she is told.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Adora will never, <em>ever</em> get tired of the sight of Catra writhing beneath her, totally lost in the throes of passion, not a barrier left in the world. Catra whimpers and whines near-constantly, though all the sounds are faint. Catra always keeps her noises quiet unless she is purposefully trying to tease Adora. The noises are a sign of weakness to her, so she tries to bury them. It only makes every soft whimper and whine, the cut-off and needy way she whines <em>Adora</em>, and her desperate little pants feel like greater accomplishments.</p><p>Adora can feel every press of the toy within herself – Catra can feel the way the harness presses against Adora’s clit on each thrust. Catra writhes beneath her, but she isn’t trying to get away, rather trying to get <em>more</em>. She works herself into desperation, so close but not quite there. Luckily, Adora is at her back. She raises up on the forearm bracing her, still close enough to feel Catra’s heat, and takes the base of her tail in her hand, grasping firmly and <em>tugging</em>.</p><p>Catra mewls, desperate and needy as her orgasm washes over her and takes Adora with it. Both of them pant desperately as they go a bit limp against the table, their heartbeats pounding directly into each other’s ribcages.</p><p>“Good girl. You did so well for me,” Adora assures her, once she has caught her breath enough. Catra makes a soft, pleased noise before she rises up on her toes. Adora takes a corresponding step back so the toy can slip free. Catra is still steadying her breathing, but Adora does her best to free herself of the harness one-handed so she can stay pressed against Catra. Actually, she has a much better idea than staying here.</p><p>“I’m not going anywhere, just taking the harness off,” Adora assures her, pressing a kiss to her shoulder blade before she straightens to quickly remove the harness. The second it is off, she sets it at the corner of the table and reaches for Catra, carefully pulling her away from the table and gathering her naked soulmate in her arms. Catra curls into her as Adora carries her – and the blanket, because Catra wasn’t letting go of it – over to the cot.</p><p>Adora kneels to carefully arrange Catra down on the cot, kissing her hair and ears about a half dozen times in the process. Catra is purring, nuzzling into her happily as she arranges her until Adora is satisfied that she is comfortable.</p><p>“I’ll be right back,” Adora assures her, kissing her forehead one last time and getting a questioning <em>mrrph</em> in response, but Catra merely cracks an eye open and watches Adora return to the table. The strap is going to need to be smuggled out in Adora’s bag and then thoroughly cleaned, so Adora leaves it there for now. She gathers their clothes, carefully folded on the next table so Catra had plenty of time to change her mind, and then brings them back over.</p><p>Catra has a small, contented smile on her face as she relaxes into the cot, lying there limply and letting Adora redress her. It is slow with no cooperation from Catra, but Adora doesn’t mind. She loves any opportunity to have her hands on her soulmate.</p><p>“You are so gorgeous,” Adora assures her, pressing a kiss against Catra’s fluffy tummy before she pulls her shirt down to hide the softness. Catra rumbles, lazily licking Adora’s wrist when she next braces it on the cot beside Catra’s head.</p><p>“Not bad yourself, princess,” Catra mumbles, before nipping lightly at the skin and going limp again. Adora chuckles as she straightens to pull on her own clothes. Her soulmate is never going to stop charming her all over again, it seems.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Catra has worked at the ranch for <em>six </em><em>months</em>. She finds out Glimmer and Bow are married when they say happy anniversary to each other twice in the span of two months.</p><p>“The first one was our dating anniversary. This is our wedding anniversary,” Glimmer explains. Adora is smirking at her in amusement, but Catra’s brain is in the middle of <em>breaking</em>.</p><p>“How long have you been married?” she has to ask. Glimmer seems as amused as Adora is. Adora is now petting soothingly down her back, trying to help Catra process this revelation. In her defense, how was she supposed to <em>know</em>? Glimmer just calls Bow her partner and doesn’t wear a ring. Catra knew they lived together, but so do she and Adora.</p><p>“Three years as of today,” Glimmer tells her. Catra is still in shock. Adora pulls her into her lap and presses a kiss to the base of her ear. Catra flicks her ear, not acknowledging the affection as her brain runs in overdrive. <em>Married</em>. Bow and Glimmer never seemed- she doesn’t know, <em>tied down</em>. They are young and wild and do stupid shit like put on horse masks and harass the beasts in the paddock. They aren’t what Catra thinks of when she thinks of married couples.</p><p><em>Marriage</em> is kind of a foreign concept to her, though. She never thought it would be in the cards for her – she never even thought she would have <em>friends</em> who were married. She thought she would go down in her thirties due to something stupid and preventable, her only friends strangers she met at bars and connected with.</p><p>Scorpia did a lot to calm her down, enlisting Entrapta to show Catra what real friendship is, but Catra never really updated her image of herself. Sure, she had a few friends, but she wasn’t someone most people could care about. Despite having a retirement fund, she never thought she would get to the point of <em>using</em> it. Being friends with people who were settled down didn’t seem her speed, much less settling down <em>herself</em>.</p><p>Catra tries to push down her building epiphany so she can <em>work</em> when lunch is done, but it takes hold over the course of the day. Adora knows Catra needs her, and she shows up when Catra gets off work and takes her back to the farmhouse without a word. Adora usually works later than Catra, but she doesn’t leave the house after taking her home.</p><p>Adora builds Catra’s nest in the sheets as best she can while Catra changes, and then steps back and lets Catra bury herself in it. Catra wriggles around, moving things until she is comfortable in the sheets, and Adora disappears into the closet. She leaves Catra undisturbed to think as she goes about changing, showering, and fixing them dinner.</p><p>“What did you do before I moved out here?” Catra asks Adora, quietly, over dinner. Adora coaxed her out to sit at the kitchen table. On her truly bad days, Adora never questions Catra eating in their bed, but on the days where Catra can manage it, Adora encourages her to eat dinner at the table, take a shower, and even put on real clothes at some point. Adora blinks at her for a moment, considering the question.</p><p>“I third-wheeled Glimmer and Bow a lot. Rode into town just for shits and giggles – I did a lot of riding in my free time, actually, even though I already every day to train the horses. I hung around the stable far later than I needed to. I could always find something to do there or a horse that wanted to play. And I took care of the house. It was easy to keep busy,” Adora tells her, shrugging and taking another bite of her food, but she is eyeing Catra questioningly.</p><p>It takes a bit for Catra to be able to respond. Melog tries to jump up on the table and makes a bid to steal Adora’s dinner, but Catra catches him in time and drops him to the floor as Adora scolds him. After things have calmed again, both of them eyeing Melog as they eat, Catra manages to collect her thoughts.</p><p>“I used to go out every day I didn’t work, and sometimes in the evenings too. To clubs and bars or just to concerts. I didn’t drink that much, but I was just trying to keep myself busy and distracted from my fears. I was dreading moving out here so much because I knew there would be nothing to lose myself in. I really thought I was going to be driving up to Bright Moon every weekend to numb myself,” Catra admits, picking at her food.</p><p>Adora just nods, unsurprised by her admission. Catra has slowly been coming to terms throughout the day with that fact that she has <em>settled down</em>. She doesn’t go out partying anymore, nor does she feel the need to. She is much happier curling up in bed with her soulmate and their little bastard of a cat. She hated the idea of a small town once, but now she realizes everything she was missing from the city was just a distraction technique.</p><p>Well, except for her friends and anonymity. She is always going to miss those. Everybody in town knows her as Adora’s girlfriend, or partner, or even her soulmate. Catra remembers the fear she once felt at the idea of strangers knowing about their connection, but honestly it just gives her an easy opening to brush attention off of her and onto Adora or the ranch when customers or coworkers ask about her personal life – because people just <em>do</em> that here and it is considered normal.</p><p>“You like Thaymor,” Adora says, almost a statement except for how she sounds more hopeful than sure. Catra rolls her eyes, sending Adora a fond look as she finally progresses from poking at her food to eating it again.</p><p>“Yes, Adora, I like Thaymor. Really I just like the ranch, though. The employees are hot,” Catra tells her. Adora huffs and rolls her eyes, but she is grinning.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Catra has always insisted the cowboy hats worn around town are stupid, even if she took to wearing one herself while Adora taught her how to ride. Apparently her opinion has either changed, or it never applied to Adora’s formal cowboy hat. The hat is all-white, giving it a bit of classier appearance. It isn’t practical for daily used on the ranch, which is what makes it a very obvious formal event-only hat.</p><p>Adora has cause to dress up for the grand opening of the first of the restaurants that are part of Angella’s revitalization plan. She chooses a black Western shirt and a matching pair of black jeans. She throws on a black Western tie too, because why not, and when she walks out of the closet, Catra immediately zeroes in on it. By coincidence – although it isn’t much of one, considering Catra only owns two suits – Catra is wearing her all-black suit as well.</p><p>Catra sweeps her eyes up and down Adora’s body, licking her lips as she zeros in on the tie. Adora can <em>feel</em> Catra thinking about grabbing it and yanking Adora down to her level so she can kiss her. Adora is only three inches taller with her formal black boots on, but it is enough to spark desire in Catra apparently. The situation isn’t helped by the fact that this suit on Catra <em>ruins</em> Adora.</p><p>They force themselves to look <em>away</em> from their partner’s outfit and make eye contact with each other. Suddenly, neither of them is interested in the opening <em>at all</em>, but they have to go. Catra growls, frustrated, with her tail lashing as she sweeps her eyes over Adora again.</p><p>“I am <em>railing</em> you after this,” Catra declares, her voice rough with desire.</p><p>They don’t even make it home. The evening is fun, if a bit torturous given that Catra is practically <em>radiating</em> dirty thoughts all through the event and dinner, but by the time they get in the car to drive home, they are both pent up. Catra has a hand on Adora’s thigh, massaging it as Adora drives them home. It isn’t nearly enough contact through her jeans and Adora is <em>dying</em>.</p><p>She pulls off on a small side street, parking the car on the side of the road. Catra chuckles with amusement as Adora shuts the headlights off and turns to her soulmate with her gaze burning. Catra raises an eyebrow, her gaze challenging, but she is just as excited as Adora. They are in the middle of the country in the dead of night. The chances of them getting found are miniscule, and if someone does see, it isn’t going to be a sheriff or anything.</p><p>“Couldn’t wait anymore? Are you that desperate for me, princess?” Catra asks. Adora flushes, shifting a little in her seat. Maybe if somebody hadn’t been <em>fucking her in her head</em> all evening, she wouldn’t be so worked up. Catra just grins even wider at that thought, but she reaches down and unbuckles her seat belt.</p><p>They end up on the back seat, Catra straddled over one of Adora’s thighs as Adora braces the other leg up against the door, her jeans undone and Catra’s hand inside. Catra grins down at her, having stolen Adora’s hat the moment she laid down and now wearing it proudly. She is making Adora fall <em>apart</em>, the windows of the car fogging up as Adora moans and rolls her hips down onto Catra’s skilled fingers. Her shirt is only half-unbuttoned, mostly pulled out of its neat tuck into her waistband. Catra is still fully dressed, cocky and arrogant in her suit and Adora’s hat, in control as she coos to Adora.</p><p>“Look at my beautiful girl, so <em>desperate</em> for me. I think it’s time you came for me, princess,” Catra tells her, words rough with her own desire as she rubs herself against Adora’s thigh. Feeling Catra’s pleasure, the rush she gets from having Adora beneath her, and the fire in her own core from Catra’s fingers working over her is almost overwhelming. Adora comes gasping and whimpering, completely ruined in her backseat.</p><p>Her long sleeve shirt is <em>clinging</em> to her skin, as are the fly-away hairs surrounding her face. Adora pants, desperate, as Catra groans and rolls her hips down, the clumsy contact and heat pouring through Adora just enough to push her over too. Catra collapses on top of her, gasping and purring, still fully dressed.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>When the resort finally opens, Scorpia brings Perfuma and Entrapta down to visit. They fly to Bright Moon and then take the shuttle down to the resort, getting a suite there for the weekend. Catra hasn’t seen them in person in almost two years, and after the opening ceremony, she finds them and lets Scorpia sweep her up into one of her crushing hugs.</p><p>It feels good. Catra finds herself purring as Scorpia puts her back down, which makes Scorpia squeal and launch into a speech about how much she has missed Catra’s <em>kitty sounds</em> in her life. Adora sidles up beside Catra and wraps an arm around her waist, amused as Scorpia goes on and on about how much she misses Catra despite the fact they still call each other at least twice a week.</p><p>Catra finally gets to introduce Adora to her friends. It is weird introducing her soulmate to the girl who was her first kiss, but Adora doesn’t seem to have any hard feelings despite knowing the story. It isn’t like they dated or anything. Catra just wanted her first kiss to be with someone she trusted. If it hadn’t been, it probably would have given Catra a panic attack, at least at that point in her life. It was a quick thing, just enough to show Catra that contact could be safe when it was agreed upon with the right person.</p><p>Despite the numerous options for entertainment at the resort, the trio are on the farm for most of the weekend trip. Perfuma immediately falls in love with the horses, and Scorpia adores the barn cats. Entrapta is unbothered by either, but she, and Catra is quoting here, <em>finds their behaviour interesting</em>. Catra calls them all traitors – she still refers to the horses as beasts half the time – but she ends up giving a riding demonstration with Adora anyway.</p><p>Catra will never be a racer, and if a horse she was riding attempted to do a jump she thinks she might <em>die</em>, but she is fine with going up to a trot. After a few leisurely rounds on Swift Wind, Adora steps into the saddle instead, and immediately blows them away with her prowess. Scorpia whoops like she is on a rollercoaster watching, cheering Adora on, while Perfuma watches her own girlfriend’s happiness rather than Catra’s riding in front of her.</p><p>“We’ve been thinking about getting a dog,” Perfuma tells Catra, serenely, while they are out on the porch swing on Sunday. Scorpia, Entrapta, and Adora are all inside, attempting to shrink a family recipe of Scorpia’s down to Entrapta’s preferred scale. Adora is only there because it is her kitchen and Catra has had to babysit her idiots trying to cook far too many times. Catra side-eyes Perfuma, familiar with that tone in her voice. In her lap, Melog mews indignantly at his pets <em>pausing</em>, so Catra resumes as she eyes her friend.</p><p>“Scorpia would love that,” Catra replies, unsure of where Perfuma is going with this. Scorpia tried to convince Catra to let her get a dog many times, but Catra wasn’t about to deal with one in such a small space, even if it <em>had</em> been allowed under any of their leases over the years. Perfuma hums thoughtfully.</p><p>“There isn’t room for one in the apartment,” she adds on, as if Catra wasn’t already aware. Perfuma’s apartment is tiny. She hasn’t moved in the last three years, but they are approaching when her lease should be up. Catra narrows her eyes at Perfuma.</p><p>“You aren’t moving just for a dog,” she observes, because Scorpia smells <em>different</em> now, and she thought she had just somehow forgotten her first friend’s scent, but a lot of vague comments are starting to fall into place now. With the rate that Perfuma has been cutting Scorpia off in their phone calls lately, Catra assumed they were planning some kind of surprise during the visit, but no, this is something else. Perfuma smiles, unable to hold it down as her entire face lights up.</p><p>“We’re trying to get pregnant. And we don’t want to raise our kids in the<em> Fright Zone</em> if we can help it. I’ve already have interviews for some positions around Bright Moon,” Perfuma finally admits, unable to hide the giddiness in her voice. Catra blinks at her in surprise. Her hometown is built on top of the ruins of Half-Moon. Everybody calls the area on the surface that stretches over the collapsed caverns the Fright Zone, largely because it is supposed to be haunted and “has bad vibes.”</p><p>It is a city built entirely in modern times, dense with high-rises and pollution. Crime is high, and it isn’t the kind of place that is ideal for raising a family. Catra has known for a long time that both Scorpia and Perfuma want to be mothers, but she never thought about them coming <em>here</em>. She figured they would move out into the countryside of the Arid Plains to be closer to Scorpia’s mothers. She blinks in surprise at Perfuma, her heart pounding. Perfuma still has that excited glow to her, but her expression softens a bit when she sees Catra’s shock.</p><p>“You’re her best friend, Catra. She really misses you. We can move for our jobs – Adora can’t, and we all know you aren’t going anywhere without Adora,” Perfuma tells her. Catra’s chest feels tight. She really fucking loves her friends, and though making new ones has helped, the idea that some of them will be within driving distance again – just because they <em>miss her</em> – makes her heart pound.</p><p>“I think you can stop trying,” Catra manages, her voice a bit choked. Perfuma blinks at her in surprise. Catra just shakes her head. “Scorpia’s scent is different. Hormone changes and all that. I think she might already be pregnant,” she manages. Perfuma’s eyes go wide before they begin filling with tears too.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Catra and Perfuma both come in from the porch crying, immediately flinging themselves into their girlfriend’s arms. There is a bit of panic before they manage to establish what <em>happened</em>, and then the rest of the day is shot after that. Everything is emotional, leaving Catra exhausted by the time they bid farewell to the trio at the resort shuttle station so they can head to Bright Moon and fly back home.</p><p>Adora doesn’t ask before carrying Catra into the house when they get home, darkness having fallen around them while they were driving back. Catra is wiped out, having cried more today than Adora think she has ever done before – which is a good thing, considering today it was <em>happy tears</em>.</p><p>“I can’t believe it,” Catra mumbles into the sheets as Adora strips her for bed. Adora is tired too, but she doesn’t know the happy couple like Catra does, so it can’t be emotional in the same way for her as it is for Catra. She can feel how deeply it is affecting her soulmate and she still cried herself, because she does that without fail for stuff like this, but she has enough energy left to get them ready for bed and tuck Catra in.</p><p>Adora slides into the sheets beside Catra, wrapping her up in her arms and pressing a kiss to her forehead.</p><p>“That they’re having a kid, or that someone your age is settling down like this?” Adora asks. Catra snorts, nuzzling into her neck for a long moment of silence. Adora can feel something building beneath her skin, something Catra is nervous to say but also <em>wants</em> to.</p><p>“… Marry me,” Catra whispers after a few, silent seconds. Adora blinks down at Catra, watching Catra flush and pin her ears back with embarrassment. “I can’t do a big romantic proposal, Adora. You know me. I just – you know I’m never going to be anywhere but with you. So. Marry me?” Catra asks, crimson now, her heart pounding.</p><p>This is the best she can do, Adora knows. The casualty of the declaration that doesn’t mean that Catra doesn’t want this. She is almost quivering with worry that it won’t be enough for Adora – that <em>she</em> won’t be enough for Adora. Adora reaches out, framing Catra’s face with both of her hands and drawing her in for a long, slow kiss. Catra shudders at the touch of her lips, but she relaxes into the embrace, at least content now that Adora won’t reject her.</p><p>“Of course, Catra. I love you. I always have. All I’ve ever wanted is to share my life with you,” Adora promises her, lightly stroking her fingers to soothe Catra however she can. Catra shivers, her eyes fluttering closed as she leans into the embrace. Adora watches her lick her lips, psyching herself up.</p><p>Catra has never said it out loud. She doesn’t need to when Adora can <em>feel</em> it from her, though. Not voicing it made Catra feel safer, but she could still show Adora how she felt in dozens of different ways. It has never bothered her that Catra didn’t want to say it when she could feel how her heart lights on fire when they kiss.</p><p>“I love you too,” Catra whispers, the words barely audible. Adora shivers, slipping her hands down to wrap her arms around Catra and hold her tight against her chest where Adora can protect her and shield her from the world that convinced her for so long that love was a weakness that could be exploited.</p><p>“Do you want a wedding?” Adora asks, because she can’t imagine the answer is <em>yes</em>, but she also is pretty sure Catra hasn’t thought this through yet. Adora would have picked up on something if she had been thinking about this for a while. Catra snorts against her neck.</p><p>“No. I want our friends to come with us to the courthouse, and I want to wear a tuxedo and see you in a white dress, but I’m not standing in front of an altar for an hour. That’s human shit,” Catra tells her, pressing a light kiss against Adora’s collarbone. Adora tilts her head back as she chuckles. Yeah, she didn’t think so. She will be plenty happy with signing papers at the courthouse if she gets to call Catra her wife.</p><p>“Hm. My wife,” Adora says, wanting to test it out. Sure, she isn’t <em>yet</em>, but now Catra has proposed it, Adora gives it a few weeks at best before they are having the ceremony. Catra shivers in her arms.</p><p>“<em>My</em> wife,” Catra returns, nipping at her shoulder. It isn’t a competition, but Adora likes the sound of that just as much, so she lets it go.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Catra is two years into her assignment, which means she is up for review. No part of her worries about it, and the meeting with her boss is a breeze, but it does spark memories as she drives home. She gets in before Adora finishes up at the stable and she has dinner ready by the time Adora makes it home. Catra hears the car, and by the time she has looked up, Adora has opened the truck door and Melog is leaping out, trotting up the stairs and pawing at the door. Catra hears Adora gently scold Melog as she walks up the porch steps.</p><p>“Your son missed you,” Adora tells her, grinning at Catra as she opens the front door. Catra holds out her arms and Melog comes running up to her, scaling up her leg by digging his claws in and climbing directly into her arms.</p><p>“That’s because he knows I love him more,” Catra coos to him, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. Melog bumps up against her chin, purring. Adora laughs as she turns away to hang up her hat and toe off her boots.</p><p>“Does that mean you love him more than I do, or you love him more than you love your wife?” she asks, still smiling as she pads into the kitchen in her socks and presses up against Catra’s back so she can hug her without crushing Melog. Catra purrs in response, leaning back into her arms.</p><p>“Yes,” she responds, kissing Melog one last time before she bends to put him down. Melog immediately runs off to his toy bin, beginning to search through it for whatever object he wishes to present as a gift to Catra this evening. Catra swats at Adora’s arms where she is wrapping them around her.</p><p>“Dinner’s done. Go put on clean clothes while I get it out of the oven,” Catra orders her. After nuzzling into her hair and pressing a few kisses against Catra’s shoulder, Adora follows orders. Catra has the table set and has accepted a toy mouse as an offering from Melog by the time Adora comes out and flings herself down into her seat, grinning at Catra from across the table.</p><p>“Ooo, the precious catnip mouse. He’s feeling generous,” Adora observes. Melog, laying at the end of the dining table because he knows they will shoo him away if he gets within <em>stealing</em> range, flicks an ear at Adora’s statement. For a while, they just eat and chatter about their days, a completely domestic exchange until Adora asks her how the meeting went. The answer is <em>fine</em>, she is still assigned to the bank two days a week, but it has Catra thinking back to her earlier revelation.</p><p>“I thought this would be temporary, you know. I would work out here for two or three years and then use the experience to transfer back into the Fright Zone,” Catra tells her. Adora tilts her head, considering her, but she isn’t worried. She can feel what Catra thinks of that plan now.</p><p>“You really thought the countryside would be that miserable, huh?” Adora asks, even though it isn’t a question. Adora felt how annoyed Catra was about the reassignment. Catra shrugs as she takes another bite of her food. It wasn’t the countryside so much as the lack of any of her coping mechanisms that worried her. She wanted to go back home to be with her friends again, if they still had a place for her in their lives.</p><p>Perfuma and Scorpia are set to close on a small house in a suburb just outside Bright Moon this week. They will be only a daytrip away. Perfuma has found a job, and Scorpia will take the first year off to care for her kid. They can make the house payments work.</p><p>“It would have been if you weren’t out here. There was nothing for me to do,” Catra tells her. Adora’s face softens, but after a moment she gets a bit of a wicked glint in her eyes.</p><p>“Well, I’m here, and you can <em>do me</em> whenever you like,” Adora promises her. Catra laughs, shaking her head as she pointedly <em>ignores</em> Adora. Not that Catra isn’t planning to <em>do her</em> tonight, but right now it is dinner time.</p><p>“We should go into Bright Moon city for a weekend trip some time. I’ll show you all the crazy shit I used to do to keep busy. We can even get you a matching set of piercings,” Catra tells her. Adora winces, though her smile is good-natured.</p><p>“Thanks, but I already felt that <em>once</em>. I like them on you,” Adora assures her, half-standing from her seat so she can lean over and kiss Catra’s ear. Catra purrs, leaning into the affection. She has switched out her earrings for silver studs. Though the placement is a bit off to truly mean <em>skilled in their craft</em>, it is close, and it fits better than her old arrangement. It isn’t like she meets anyone who knows shit about them often anyway.</p><p>Adora sneaks a hand down while Catra is distracted by her hot breath puffing against her ear. She pinches one of Catra’s nipples – now sporting matching silver barbells rather than her old gold ones – through her shirt, causing Catra to squeak and flush. She glares at her grinning wife as Adora pulls away to sit back down.</p><p>“Eat your dinner if you want desert,” Catra orders Adora. Adora flushes immediately, her eyes going a bit wide as she picks back up her fork.</p><p>“Yes, ma’am,” she agrees, which makes Catra snort, but the way Adora immediately begins wolfing down her food upgrades it to a <em>cackle</em>. Catra isn’t even a good cook, but she is pretty sure Adora is always going to be eager to take her clothes off.</p><p>Catra makes Adora put their dishes away once they are done eating, washing them off and sticking them in the washer, before she lets Adora pick her up and carry her to the bedroom. Catra lays back in the sheets, letting her wife strip and worship her. Adora nuzzles into her fur, presses soft kisses along her body, swirls her tongue around her piercings until Catra is near <em>screaming</em>, and soothes her with hands massaging gently along her body.</p><p>Two years ago, Catra never could have pictured this. She never thought she would lie back and take it as her partner poured affection out in whispered sweet nothings and strong, caring hands gripping her thighs as Adora pushes them apart and meets Catra with her tongue. Now, Catra fists one hand in the sheets and another in Adora’s hair as she cries out until her voice goes ragged and she spills over in her wife’s mouth.</p><p>Adora licks her clean as she comes herself. Catra stays limp, letting her soulmate pick her up and tuck them into bed together, purring the whole time. It is safe to be open like this – to turn every vigilant instinct off and let Adora hold her. Catra may still have days where she needs to be alone, but Adora always gives her the space she needs, and takes care of her however Catra is comfortable letting her.</p><p>The bad days are rarer now, anyway. Most days Catra falls asleep in her soulmate’s arms and wakes up there, still purring. Every day, regardless of what her brain and instincts tell her, Catra <em>knows</em> Adora loves her, and she loves her back, every way she can.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p><a href="https://n7punk.tumblr.com/post/646503456913473537/ihtwcyn-ref-3-adoras-formal-outfit-adoras">Adora's outfit from the restaurant opening.</a><br/>Alright, that’s the end of the “main” fic, but stay tuned because the epilogue will be up soon, because I had Feelings.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Kittens (Epilogue)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Catra has the opposite of baby fever. Children scare her. At the same time, there are few things more fulfilling than being an aunt to her friends’ growing horde of children.<br/>(AKA Catra’s evolving relationship with children over time)</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi, this is short and was initially supposed to be a one-shot following the main story, so it is told entirely from Adora’s perspective, unlike the back-and-forth switching of the rest of the fic.<br/>CW: brief discussion of dysphoria from Bow (second scene). Also, this is the kids portion of the fic (no pregnancy). I literally swore I would never do this, but it felt right as a conclusion to this fic, so here it is. Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It takes them seven years. Five of marriage, seven together, four of having a niece, and three of having a nephew. Scorpia and Perfuma were the first, having their baby just six months after Catra and Adora have their small courthouse wedding, but six months after that, Glimmer and Bow start seriously talking about it too.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Scorpia asks at the baby shower. She takes Catra’s hand in her own and asks if Catra and Adora will be Flora’s godmothers. Catra’s eyes go wide and she starts <em>crying</em>. She accepts, but her hands were still shaking even after she got control of her tears, and Adora’s chest felt like it was shaking.</p><p>When they get home that night, Adora gushes her excitement to Catra, but she isn’t all that surprised by the hesitant nod Catra gives in response, her ears pinned back and the tip of her tail twitching. She can feel fear swirling in her soulmate, even if Catra is trying to bury it.</p><p>“Catra?” Adora prompts, softly, shifting to sit right beside her wife on the bed. They are supposed to be undressing and heading to bed, but Catra looks-</p><p>Catra is curling in on herself, her tail wrapped tightly around her and both hands fisted in the sheets. Her ears are still pinned back, eyes downcast. She isn’t okay – but she is <em>trying</em> to be. She used to be like this a lot, but she has made a lot of progress in the last few years, and her bad days are rare. Adora can guess what is worrying her now.</p><p>Catra takes a long breath, forcing her shoulders back. Slowly, she uncurls until she is sitting up straight, though she still doesn’t make eye contact with Adora.</p><p>“I’m scared. Of kids. And fucking them up,” she says, in a quiet voice. Adora swallows, her heart pounding a little as she shifts to wrap an arm around Catra’s waist. Catra draws in a deep breath, forcing her right hand to uncurl from the sheets so she can wrap an arm around Adora in turn.</p><p>“Catra, you aren’t going to hurt Flora. I know we didn’t have good examples as kids, but we have for the last few years, and you’ve come so far, I know you’ll be a great godmother,” Adora returns in a low voice, squeezing her arm around Catra and dropping a kiss into her hair. Tears prick in Catra’s eyes as she draws in a shaking breath.</p><p>“I know. I know we have better examples, and I know you love kids, and I <em>am</em> excited, but it just- brings up memories. Of what my childhood was like. I will do <em>everything</em> to make sure her childhood isn’t like that, but…” Catra trails off, shaking her head and turning to tuck her face into Adora’s neck. Adora cradles her close, stroking a hand soothingly down Catra’s back.</p><p>“But it brings it back. I know. I’m here for you. It’s okay to not feel overjoyed by this, Catra. Your childhood was <em>fucked</em>,” Adora promises her. Catra hiccups slightly, nodding into her neck. There is suspicious dampness between them now, but Adora just keeps holding Catra while Catra curls into her and rubs her face against Adora’s neck.</p><p>After several minutes, a few quiet assurances, and the occasional gentle sob, Catra seems to be cried out for the moment. Catra pulls back, her fur a <em>mess</em> of tear trails and cowlicks as she wipes her eyes and tries to steady her breathing. After a few moments of silence, she gathers herself enough to send Adora a watery smile.</p><p>“Thanks,” she murmurs, her voice rough. Adora feels her own expression soften as she reaches out to cup Catra’s cheek.</p><p>“I’m always here for you. Come on. I’ll clean you up,” Adora promises her, leaning forward to press a kiss to Catra’s forehead. Catra lets her lead them to the bathroom, Adora lifting her easily onto the counter. She cleans Catra’s face with a warm washcloth, stroking it through her fur to get it to lie in the right direction again after the mussing. She uses a dry cloth to wipe her face clean afterwards as a soft, unsteady purr begins in Catra’s chest, her wife happily leaning into her touch.</p><p>Adora carries her back to bed, getting Catra settled in it comfortably before she climbs in to join her, wrapping around her back. For a while they just lay there, a little too emotional to sleep, but Adora is happy to cradle Catra as her heart calms back down. After several minutes, Catra clears her throat a little.</p><p>“Do you want kids, Adora?” she asks in a whisper. They both know the answer. Adora frowns at the back of Catra’s neck. She presses a soft kiss against the fur there.</p><p>“Yes, but not unless you do too, and certainly not before you’re ready. I’ll be happy with nieces and nephews if that is all you ever want, Catra. Don’t worry about that. I just want us to be happy now,” Adora tells her, pressing another kiss against the spot. Catra lets out a slow breath. For a moment, it is just the two of them and Catra’s pounding heartbeat. Catra licks her lips, her mouth clicking a little from the moisture built up from crying.</p><p>“I don’t know. They just scare me. I see them in the town, and I think they’re cute, but the idea of actually taking care of one… I’m scared of fucking it up. I <em>want</em> to take care of Flora if she needs us, and the fact that they trust us to if they can’t- I mean, you saw me cry. I’m just- still scared,” she whispers, words rough. Adora tightens her arms around her.</p><p>“That’s okay. It’s understandable. I’m not ready right now either – and you <em>never have to be</em>. You’re going to be a great aunt, Catra, I just know it,” Adora assures, gently petting Catra’s arm.</p><p>“You think so?” she asks quietly. She sounds hopeful.</p><p>“Yeah, I really do,” Adora promises her.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Bow comes over to the stable one day, visibly stressed. They end up locked up in the tack room together, Bow sitting on the cot with the blanket balled up in his lap, hugging it to deal with his anxiety as he confesses to Adora how badly he <em>wants</em> to have a kid, but that Glimmer wants to get pregnant.</p><p>“I can’t- I can’t <em>do</em> that for her. And I know she isn’t trying to make me feel inadequate, but every time she brings up going to a sperm bank all I can think about is how if she was with- <em>another</em> man, she wouldn’t need to,” Bow tells her, barely catching himself. Adora’s entire chest aches. She gets it – both sides. Glimmer wants to have a kid that is hers, but given their situation, they can’t have one that is <em>both</em> of theirs.</p><p>Adora gets why Bow feels uncomfortable with the idea of a sperm donor too. They have talked about adoption as well, but Glimmer can’t decide which she would rather do, and Bow doesn’t want to tell her he doesn’t want that if she might settle on adoption on her own. He has a little too much respect for his wife’s body and not enough for his own needs.</p><p>She does her best to comfort him, and she brings it up to Catra that night. Their conversation is brief, but when Adora gets home the next day, she finds Catra and Glimmer sitting on the porch swing, having rather emotional discussion about how shitty the foster system was for them. Adora ducks into the house, making dinner for three as Catra whispers some of her more painful memories from both after she was placed in Weaver’s home and the two years she spent being bounced around as a small kitten before that.</p><p>“Some of them never even knew my age? They didn’t bother to check my documents. I was placed in pre-school at one point because I was too much of a <em>runt</em> to be in first grade,” Catra is saying when Adora opens the door to call them into dinner. Adora takes over for Catra when they come inside. Catra has already put herself through a lot of turmoil, so Adora talks a bit about what living with Hordak was like. She was too young to remember anything but the forced child labour she grew up in.</p><p>Glimmer has been crying and she cries again as they talk. She doesn’t leave until she has given them each a dozen hugs.</p><p>The next weekend, Glimmer and Bow announce their decision to adopt. Bow is ecstatic.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Once Flora was actually <em>born</em> – especially once she started babbling and grabbing at Catra’s waving tail – some of Catra’s fear eases. When Glimmer and Bow make the announcement they have found a kid, Adora and Catra are both just excited to have a nephew on the way.</p><p>Angel’s mother has to give him away at birth. Glimmer and Boy drive out to the hospital to be there when he is born. They are nervous the mother will change her mind, but despite crying when she holds him for the first time, she tells them she can’t care for him. Angel comes home quickly. Catra starts crying immediately when she holds the baby for the first time. So does Adora, but <em>she</em> didn’t deny that she was going to.</p><p>Catra starts working at the ranch office full-time, in part because she is needed anyway, but also to help fill in the gaps left by Glimmer needing to take time to take care of Angel. Catra’s fears have really improved over the last few months, and she is just as happy to babysit when needed as Adora is. It feels safer to her when it is someone else’s kid she can give back to them. They have already babysat Flora.</p><p>“I can already tell he is going to be trouble,” Catra tells Adora as she cradles Angel to her chest two weeks in. Glimmer is thoroughly passed out, as is Bow. They are exhausted, and can get in a good nap while Catra and Adora are taking care of their second godchild. Catra still has the inclination to carry babies by the back of their shirts, but she learned how to handle human – well, human-adjacent - children appropriately when Flora was born, and Angel needs to be held the same way, cradled carefully in her arms with his head supported.</p><p>“You’re just saying that because he swiped at you,” Adora returns, but she is smiling. Catra immediately breaks into a grin, looking down at Angel with a downright <em>besotted</em> expression.</p><p>“If the fucker had claws, I’d be bleeding. I’m so proud. That’s what a nephew of mine should be like, <em>isn’t it</em>?” Catra says, going from swearing to almost <em>cooing</em>. Adora does her best to contain the love bursting in her heart in response, but from the way Catra looks up to narrow her eyes at her, she knows her soulmate has detected it.</p><p>“You’re so <em>cute</em> with kids, okay?” Adora huffs, rolling her eyes. Catra snorts, looking back down to Angel and rocking him a little in her arms. For a long moment it is quiet as Catra begins to purr to Angel. He loves it, letting out a happy gurgle since he is far too young to do much else. Adora takes the opportunity to just <em>look</em>.</p><p>It is a sight that she never could have predicted three years ago, staring at Catra’s retreating back as she <em>ran</em> from Adora with fear choking her throat. Now, Catra’s expression is practically <em>melted</em> looking down at their nephew. Her shoulders are relaxed, no weight hanging off them or fear squaring them up around her ears. Even her ears are at peace, twitching a little when Angel makes the slightest noise, but otherwise she is utterly relaxed and open. Her heart is as warm as Adora’s.</p><p>Catra glances up, a slight smile playing at her lips. She blushes upon seeing Adora’s expression, quickly looking back down. She bites her lip, seeming a bit torn despite how blown out with happiness her eyes are. Adora can feel the thought forming, a ball of anxiety at what Adora might ask of her.</p><p>“… I’m still not ready, you know. I just like being an aunt,” Catra says, softly. The knot in her chest unties as she feels no surprise or resistance from Adora.</p><p>“I know,” Adora returns, just as softly, scooting a little bit closer so their sides are brushing. “And I do too. I’m happy like this,” she assures her, leaning over to press a kiss against Catra’s temple. Catra purrs louder in response, and Angel makes another soft, happy sound.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>More nieces and nephews come – Perfuma and Scorpia can’t stop at just one, and new friends walk into their life and bring additions. A water park opens near the resort, and Catra befriends Mermista as she works on the park’s books. Mermista and Sea Hawk have their single daughter, and Catra and Adora greet every one of the kids with open arms. Glimmer and Bow briefly consider a second kid, but Angel is happy as an only child seeing as he barely <em>is</em> one.</p><p>The kids grow up together, and Catra and Adora babysit often. Sometimes they have two, or three, even <em>four</em> kids in their house at one time, none theirs and yet all of them family. Catra still worries, sometimes, about raising them <em>right</em>, but the fact that the kids go home to their parents at the end of the day – or the week, depending on how long they are babysitting for – always seems to help her relax when they fall into bed together, alone again.</p><p>They have just returned from visiting Perfuma and Scorpia and their newly-born youngest, Wisteria, when Catra shocks her. She rolls over in bed, her eyes wide and blown out, staring at Adora. They are both naked – it is just comfortable and more often than not <em>convenient</em> to sleep this way – and Adora can see that Catra’s fur is standing on end a little where her shoulders are sticking out above the sheets.</p><p>She reaches over, gently petting her wife’s shoulders to soothe down her fur as she waits for her to be ready to speak. Melog settled in the bed on Catra’s other side, and now they nuzzle into her back as Catra just <em>stares</em> at Adora with wide eyes. She wants something intensely, but voicing it is difficult.</p><p>“… I want a kitten,” she breathes, eventually. Adora almost <em>startles</em>, her hand freezing as she stares at her wife in shock. Catra seems a little sheepish, but the corner of her mouth quirks up as she shuffles a little closer. “I really love being an aunt. I love the kids. I want… I want to have one with <em>you</em>,” she adds, still a little breathless.</p><p>Adora can tell she is sincere – her blown out eyes and twitching ears say all they need to, as does the eager hope Adora can feel in her chest. She draws in a long breath, shifting her arm to wrap it around Catra and draw her close until they are pressed together. A gentle purr begins in Catra’s chest, her eyes still wide as they tilt their foreheads together, entirely too close to be staring into each other’s eyes, but they keep doing it anyway.</p><p>“Yeah? You’re sure you’re ready?” she asks, an edge of hope and excitement in her voice, but she can’t <em>help</em> it. She loves their nieces and nephews, but the idea of having a kitten together – a <em>real</em> one, not just Melog – makes her a little breathless. She wants it, she always has. She has always loved children, and she has always wanted one with Catra. She still meant it when she said she never wanted to have one if Catra didn’t.</p><p>Catra purrs in her arms, their eyes still locked, but Adora can make out the smile pulling at her lips in the blurry edges of her vision.</p><p>“Yeah. It isn’t like I haven’t been raising kids for four years anyway. I just– needed time. I’ve had that time. I want one that is <em>ours</em>. You and me. A kitten. They can grow up with Wisteria – or whatever Scorpia and Perfuma decide to name their next kid,” Catra promises her. Adora can’t contain her noise of delight. It comes out broken at the end. Catra trills in amusement, her tail thudding against the mattress as she grins.</p><p>“Are you going to cry over our theoretical child?” Catra teases, but her voice is loaded with emotion too. The question is rhetorical – Adora already has tears in her eyes.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>It is all well and good to decide they want a kid – there is still the matter of logistics.</p><p>“How do you want to do this?” Adora asks, softly, a few evenings later. They have been cautiously talking about it every day, but not about <em>logistics</em>. Just about having a kid, about how they would want to raise them, the toys they want to get them, the vacations they would take together as a family. It is as much fantasizing as it is about making sure they are both adjusted and committed to the idea. Catra makes a soft noise of consideration, dropping a hand to Adora’s head so she can thread it through her hair. Currently they are laying side-by-side in bed. Melog is spread out across Catra’s feet.</p><p>“I want to adopt a magicat kitten. I never got to grow up around other magicats. I want to give them that. Being raised by someone who understands them,” Catra says, softly. Adora’s heart bursts and <em>wilts</em> at the same time. She nods, reaching out to tuck some of Catra’s hair out of her face.</p><p>“You’re going to be an amazing mother,” she assures, leaning forward to press a kiss to Catra’s forehead. Catra gives a gentle trill, nudging up into the touch. Adora shifts, kissing along the side of Catra’s face, just wanting to shower her wife in affection.</p><p>She deserves it. Even taking years to get used to the idea, this is a huge step for them. For <em>Catra</em>. Gently, Adora presses on Catra’s shoulder until Catra takes the hint and rolls over onto her back. Melog mews admonishingly at them disturbing his spot, getting up reluctantly when Catra shifts beneath him. Adora braces herself above Catra, trailing kisses down her face and neck, nuzzling into her wife’s soft fur.</p><p>“You’re going to be amazing, and <em>they’re</em> going to be amazing. We’ll talk to Glimmer and Bow about how they did it, and then we’ll have a little kitten to spoil,” Adora promises her, nuzzling into Catra’s neck. Catra giggles, apparently tickled, as she wraps her arms around Adora’s shoulders.</p><p>“You’re so much,” she informs her, her voice dripping with affection. It is code between them now, meaning <em>your emotions are so strong, I feel them like my own</em>. Usually it is a warning that they both need to calm down, but not today. It isn’t like Adora can <em>help</em> it. She loves Catra, and she already loves the idea of their kid. Catra’s expression is soft as she reaches up to cup Adora’s cheek.</p><p>“I love you,” she reminds, her voice as affectionate as her expression. That doesn’t <em>help</em> Adora get her emotions under control, but Catra giggles at the burst of affection between them, so she’ll count it as a win. Catra leans forward to kiss her softly. “And you’re going to be an amazing mother too, Adora,” she adds.</p><p>Adora feels a little breathless, so she just kisses her wife as response. Catra seems plenty happy with that.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>“C’yra,” Catra warns, her voice serious. C’yra chuffs, slumping in the back seat and thumping her tail in disappointment as she lets go of Finn’s ear. The littermates are always wrestling, but at least they don’t <em>bite</em> each other anymore – at least not harsh enough to draw blood. Adora chuckles as she pulls the car to a stop in the driveway.</p><p>“Don’t you want to look presentable for Grandma Razz?” Adora asks. In Catra’s lap, Mara gurgles. Catra purrs for the kitten, undoing her seat belt and rearranging the baby sling so she can properly carry their youngest.</p><p>It was supposed to just be C’yra and Finn. In a check-up with the adoption agency a year after they adopted the siblings, however, their agent just <em>happened</em> to mention they had a new kitten needing a parent. Magicats needing adoption are rare in Bright Moon, Crescent Moon communities usually take care of their own, and their agent was anxious about the possibility of having to adopt the kitten out to a couple that wouldn’t understand her.</p><p>Once Adora heard her name, their fates were sealed. The woman said <em>Mara</em> and Adora turned to her wife with big eyes to find Catra already chuckling and promising they’ll talk about it. Mara is two years younger than C’yra and Finn and unrelated to them, but they are more than happy to treat her as their little sister, even if they can’t roughhouse with her the same way they can with each other.</p><p>“Razz doesn’t care,” Finn protests, loudly, as they get out of the car. Adora opens her mouth to argue, but unfortunately, Finn is <em>right</em>. Razz doesn’t even remember she is the kittens’ grandmother. She was named as their godmother, but when social services went to check on the woman that was to be their new guardian, they immediately realized she had undocumented dementia and wouldn’t be able to care for them.</p><p>Adora and Catra make sure that C’yra and Finn still get to visit her twice a year. Catra and Adora have no family on this earth, nor does Mara, so they want to give the kids as much family as they are able. Finn at least loves their “<em>kooky</em>” grandmother. C’yra is more withdrawn in general, but she tolerates the visits for Finn’s benefit.</p><p>Razz greets them when they ring the doorbell. She remembers enough to know children visit her – she remembers that from before the accident that claimed their parents’ lives – but she is startled by Mara’s presence.</p><p>“What’s this? Have the dearies multiplied? Where <em>are</em> you getting them from?” Razz questions as she pinches Mara’s cheek. Mara mouths at Razz’s fingers. She is barely a year old and still very bitey. Razz is unphased. She may be human, but she raised an orphaned magicat kitten rescued from the rubble of Half-Moon in her past, even if she doesn’t remember it well now.</p><p>The great thing about Razz is that even when she doesn’t remember who the kids are, she loves them regardless. Sometimes she mistakes C’yra for her daughter, but she is never bothered by Adora or Catra parenting them. She usually accepts the explanation that Catra is her birth mother who healed up and came back for her. Razz always responds by making a joke about her memory.</p><p>“I find them under the porch stoop at night,” Catra informs Razz, smiling a little to herself as she tucks Mara back in against her chest. At her side, Adora feels a tug. She looks down to find C’yra staring at her with wide eyes, her ears pinned back and lower lip a bit wobbly. It is a look that could convince Adora to commit murder. She immediately bends down and scoops C’yra up. C’yra happily curls into her as Finn begins to tug on Razz’s dress and excitedly babble about the things that have happened since they saw Razz last.</p><p>C’yra curls up in Adora’s arms and promptly goes to sleep, apparently deciding she doesn’t want to deal with any of this.</p><p>“Three years old and already tired of the world,” Catra notes with some amusement as she reaches over to pet their eldest. Adora drops a kiss into her fluffy mane. They make jokes like this to each other often. It is a reminder of what they were dealing with at three – or one, or any other age – and that their kids will never have to deal with the same.</p><p>“Car trips are very tiring,” Adora returns. Catra chuckles, pressing a kiss against Adora’s cheek and then kissing C’yra’s head as well. C’yra rumbles softly in her sleep, half-purr and half-complaint.</p><p>“What a mighty evil our little knight has endured. We must be sure to present her with a medal of valour when we get home,” Catra returns, settling down to sit at the kitchen table as Finn continues to yammer excitedly to Razz. Adora follows her, because she may be strong, but three-year-olds aren’t <em>light</em> either, and holding one for an extended period of time will make her arms go wobbly.</p><p>Their children’s knighthood is another running joke between them. They loved playing princess and knight when they were kids, but Finn and C’yra prefer <em>warrior</em>. Catra inducted them both in as <em>Princess Adora’s knights</em> so they could fight their play battles in the name of their kingdom – which was the entire ranch, it turned out.</p><p>Their oldest kids are the same age Catra was when she ended up in the foster system. Catra’s eyes are soft and her heart light as she gazes down at Mara in her arms. They have <em>no intention</em> of having any more kids, but Adora can feel how Catra loves the kittens they have now with her whole heart. She can feel how, after just two years, they have brought Catra a peace she never knew before.</p><p>Adora is happy to sit in silence while she keeps an eye on Finn hopping excitedly around their grandmother, telling a story with gusto. C’yra rumbles softly in her arms as Catra settles down in her seat and lets her own eyes slip closed. She isn’t going to sleep, just resting and trusting Adora to keep an eye out. Catra purrs quietly to Mara, soothing her as she sleeps.</p><p>Adora knows without a doubt that all three of their kids will never know a life not surrounded by love – that they will never have to doubt how much their mothers love them. She knows that after so many years, her wife knows the same. Catra knows Adora loves her just as surely as she knows their kids do. It took a long time to get here, and even still Catra has the occasional bad day, but on those days she can haul their kittens into her lap and pepper them with kisses until they are complaining loudly for Mom to come rescue them from Mommy.</p><p>That never fails to put a smile on Catra’s face – nor on Adora’s. She grins to herself as she cradles C’yra close. They may have walked though hell to get here, but Adora can’t imagine being anywhere else.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And it’s all done! They have their little farmhouse and their happy family. Perfuma’s and Scorpia’s kids, in order, are Flora (f), Lyra (m), Wisteria (nb), Magnolia (m), and Fauna (f).<br/><a href="https://n7punk.tumblr.com/post/646554864400433152/ihtwcyn-fic-notes">Fic notes</a> are up on <a href="https://n7punk.tumblr.com/">my tumblr</a>, and contain links to all the other meta for this fic as well.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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